After all this why...

Ten years ago, on 11 September, I was seated in the cafeteria. I had no homework to speak of because I was a senior and just seemed to lack homework in general. So, I was writing in my "journal." (It is in quotes, because I had two journals in high school. A public one and a private one.) Here is what was going through my head the moment I hear the news:

September 11, 2001: I've come to the conclusion I will always have an odd ball obsession with That Guy. You see, most of my childhood crushes, they went away and the person left too. That Guy never left. He's always lurking around in the background, always there. And when he wasn't for a semester what happened? B. And now he's almost nowhere and on my mind 24/7. When I'm not pondering B, I'm pondering That Guy. I swear it is the last name. Generally when I'm thinking or talking about That Guy, it's always That Guy Insert Last Name, though after five years of him I still can't spell it. And now he's remotely cute and people like BF think so, I am just so grrred. And it wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have B in my ear whispering, "i love you babe." Then I feel guilty for thinking about That Guy and those dreams... B either scares me or makes me melt by how much he loves me. At times I feel like a sap b/c I feel like a "7th Heaven" character. Then I wonder will I really marry him? Okay, they just made some announcement that I did not hear, but I bargain someone or people died. I did catch "mom of silence," "world trade center," and "airplane." But, I guess I'll hear later. 


Anyways, back to B. I really don't know what to do with him. At times I love him, miss him, want him near, but then That Guy, who I have next to no chance with, floats into my head. I will never comprehend what that was all about. And then I'm not sure. And then there's this car thing. What is that all about? So what, BF can drive if you can. It's just a car, not a baby. Grrrr....it's hard to juggle people. You know, I'm a bad person. How can I love someone I can hardly ever say anything nice about? I'm one screwed up girl. You know what, I'll probably get an ulcer and it won't be from any pain pills or drugs.


"I need to get away and find something to do. Cause everything I do reminds me of you." -Goldfinger, "Counting the Days"


Later: Okay, big day in history. The two World Trade Towers collapsed after two airplanes flew into them. The Pentagon had a plane fly into it and another hijacked plane crashed in PA. My dad's stuck in San Antonio, thank god he wasn't flying. Third hour we watched CNN. It was surreal watching both towers crumble to the ground. Just thinking I was there and now it's gone. It was just odd. I don't think Dad was coming home today. Plus, all the planes that were hijacked were transcontinental, ie NY to LA. So, I'm figuring that he's just stuck in San Antonio. There's talk of war and such. I'm finding this all hard to believe. It's like straight out of a movie. That's what all the news footage I've seen has looked like. Like the second plane flying straight into Tower Two while the first ones burning. Then the two falling to the ground live on TV. I don't know. I just want to go home and see the news. I need pictures. Well, and I gotta call B. Oh god. I have to deal with this on the retreat. It's like (almost) Columbine. Well, large scale. To put it mildly I'm grrified. It's just surreal. I've never lived through something t his big. I mean, it was announced during school. They didn't announce Columbine. This will be in the history books. My kids might ask me where I was when I heard. I was sitting in my 2nd hour study hall pinning over That Guy and B, wondering what I was going to do. At least my dad wasn't flying. Stupid SBC. If they just followed their stupid travel ban maybe....grrr.....grr....grr. I'm just glad he wasn't in NY or DC. Thank God.

Well, there you have it. That is what Ireland Scott was doing ten years ago. And my reaction to when I actually heard what happened. You see, at the time, there were no speakers in the lunchroom, thus none of us who were in there heard what the hell was announced. We all just looked at one another in a confused manner and the two teachers in with us, kind of shrugged. When the bell rang, we were the ONLY people talking. The whole school was utterly silent. And none of us who were in 2nd hour study hall had a clue what was going on, as no one was speaking. Everyone was just walking around in silence. I went to my locker and then got my stuff. I walked to my 3rd hour class: US Government. I was beginning to get a bit freaked out, as NO ONE WAS TALKING. My teacher, Mr. E, was standing in all his Nordic glory, but he had the gravest, freakiest face on in the world. (he kind of looked like Erik from True Blood, now that I think about it, when he's being all freaky serious). Usually, Mr. E smiled and greeted me as I entered, but on that day, he just stared at me. I was like, "What the hell is going on here?"

The TV was on, and turned onto CNN or something. I don't honestly remember which channel Mr. E chose to watch. I just remember sitting down and staring at the TV wondering what movie he was watching. Then, I realized, it wasn't a movie: IT WAS REAL.

It never sunk in what I was looking at. I just sat there the whole hour, watching the live footage, watching the other footage of when the first plane hit. I watched the first tower and second tower crumble that hour.

Then I went to lunch. I think I wrote that second half of my journal entry at lunch. Or not, as I think I sat with someone that semester for lunch. It was just so surreal going through the day. All I wanted to do was watch the news, even though I knew after the second tower fell, there wasn't much else we could watch. I spent the rest of the day shocked we were still going through the day. Only one teacher actually held class that day. Our physics teacher went on as nothing was going on.

My mother also picked me up because my father (who was indeed in SA and was supposed to fly home the next day) was fearful what the nutjobs in our town would do to the Islamic Center that was behind our high school. The cops had the same fears as they were out in full force when I got out of school. They were there for several days after as well.

The other clear memory was when I heard the first plane after September 11th. I was walking home from school and totally freaked out because I had no clue what the noise was. You'd think growing up under a landing pattern for O'Hare, I'd know what a plane sounded like.

I've asked Pilot Boy several times his memories on September 11th, but he can't tell me much of anything. Which is normal for Pilot Boy. He doesn't remember much of anything that isn't about flying an airplane. He doesn't remember half the things I remember clearly....like the first time I drove down to Purdue for 24 hours just to see him, when I first showed up to LEAD...and sometimes he doesn't remember clearly the events of the day he asked me to marry him.  At least he remembers me...

The Earth Moves

Yesterday, I watched the nightly news. This is a big deal because 1) I hate the news and 2) I do not watch news. I am not sure why I watched it last night instead of finding something else to watch, like I usually do, but I watched it.

They talked about a breaking news story: an earthquake in California. I was like, uh, okay. We've had strong ones here I slept through, like that first big one we had that I felt, but thought was the heater. I was like, okay.

Then, two hours later, I was sitting on my bed reading and suddenly I thought the bed was going to fall apart. It went on for a few seconds, rattling empty hangers and the bed. Then it stopped. The only evidence it was there were the swinging robes and hangers. I went on the internet right away and couldn't find anything. The Alaska Earthquake site wouldn't load. I finally went on the USGS site and got some answers. We had had a 5.0 one, per the USGS.

I bet that didn't make the national news. Not that I would have known, due to the fact I was upstairs, reading in bed and had no desire to turn the TV on to find out. And I over slept this morning, so I missed the morning new shows, which I do watch as they do not actually tell me much news. So I can stand them.

As my dad told me when I got called up for jury duty and was chosen: "You're intelligent but woefully uninformed."

I tried to be informed for awhile, but it was too much work.

it all just got away from tony romo

So today, whilst watching football, I saw a commercial about GM. I had seen the same commercial a few days before, but I had forgotten about it. It is the commercial staring the new CEO of GM.

The first time I saw the commercial, I had to roll it back to make sure I had heard correctly.

I had heard correctly.

Ed Whitcare is the new CEO of GM.

Ed is back, back again, Ed is back tell some friends.

Now, why do I know who Ed is? I know who Ed is because he terrorized my family for awhile. And by terrorize I mean he drove AT&T stock into the ground, expanded the company too fast to the point it was much too large for its own good, and took away all employee benefits or limited them to the point where they were almost pointless. After Ed entered our lives, when SBC bought out Ameritech...it was pretty much all down hill from there. My senior year of college, I randomly decided I could do Ed's job better so I proclaimed I was going to become the CEO of SBC. Or AT&T.

I also concluded Ed as plotting against me, so everything that went wrong in my life, or in the world in general, was Ed's fault. Ed was plotting against the world.

And then he left. He left and left Randy in charge and Randy moved the company to Dallas from San Antonio, where Ed had moved it from St. Louis after Ed was told he couldn't play golf somewhere because he wasn't old school St. Louis. So he went where he was old school, San Antonio. We'll see how long he lasts in Detroit, before GM moves to San Antonio, though the government might not let him do that...

My brother just informed me I'm a week behind in my news. So what? I finally remembered to tell the internet world this random information.

I just want to wake up...

Something has been bothering me since I arrived in Chicago. For one, my mother has turned into a news junky, so now I am up on everything going on in our nation and all I can say...is everyone really stupid? Seriously? I understand no one is going to see eye to eye with me, but Obama is a communist? He's fascist? He's going to turn us into a socialist nation? Do any of the people who spout off this crap know what these things are?

Well, no. They do not. Take it from the girl who without meaning to studied communism for four years. I also studied fascism. I'm not too up to speed with what the hell socialism is, but I'm pretty sure we're not going "that" direction.

I think it is somewhat amusing when the right wing movements call Obama fascist. Fascism is a far right political movement. I learned this my first semester of college. Communism is extreme left. What most people call communism isn't actually communism in the least, but some for of dictatorship, which is usually more conservative in a sense than liberal. Political things are always murky, but let's get something straight: Obama isn't going for fascism. Forgetting the fact I concluded by the end of the History of Fascism course I took my freshman year I concluded there was no such thing as Fascism (I also concluded there was no such thing as Federalism too, but that's another story), I do know enough to know we're not heading towards Fascism, nor are we heading towards true communism.

What does "true communism" mean? It is the theory Marx came up with, which inspired those crazy Russians (as well as others at the time.) While communism in theory is great, it'll never work. Seriously, it will never work because, as Frank Zappa said, 'people like to own stuff.' That is why communism won't work: stuff. The thing the Communist were trying to do away with, Capitalism, was the thing that made the whole thing impossable to work: money and stuff. People in these countries still wanted it, the people in charge still wanted stuff and money, thus they got stuck in the dictatorship step for the most part. Because these regimes called themselves communist, we called them such, but they are not communist. There has never been an actual communist regime. China came close (spent three years studying China and they got the closet, they failed, but they got the closet to a true Communist system.) Thus, there are three different sort of communist regimes, all in varying degrees of, well, suckiness. Stalinist is the worst, highly repressive regime. This is the stereotypical sort of regime one things of, where the government goes after people and basically people have no rights or civil liberties. Moaism is, well I am not sure, as I was never really clear what Moaism other than the fact Moa's regime was Moaist. I guess that is the regime that clearly follows the leader and they are more "communist." Titoism is the "nicest" regime. It is where the people have more "freedom" but almost always leads to the regime turning into Stalinist. The Prague Spring is an exam of Titoism gone to pot.

None of these are actually communist. Trust me. National health care won't make us socialist or communist in the least in the sense most people seem to believe. Nor will it make us fascist, as under fascism one's ever move is controlled by the government and rights are repressed. No one's rights will be repressed under what is going on today. It irks me to no end that people are tossing around these political terms without knowing what they actually mean. That is all.

Fascism is an extreme right movement (Obama isn't right in the least) while Communism is the extreme left. No one is Communist because we all like stuff.

Okay, that is really all.

Jumping the bandwagon

I first heard Micheal Jackson was dead from someone's facebook status update. Thinking it had to be a joke, I went to Google News, which only told me he was suffering from a heart attack.

At some point yesterday, he was dead. Declared dead, confirmed dead. He was dead.

Last night, BET was playing Micheal Jackson videos. For lack of better things to watch, my husband and I watched Micheal dance one last time, for as you well know, now that he's really dead, the music video is truly dead.

The music video has been dead for awhile. It died at some point at the dawn of the new century, when MTV and VH1 ceased to actually play videos and moved on to playing the dumbest, stupidest reality TV shows. Micheal Jackson made the music video into an art form. Have you seen "Thriller?" MTV was made into what it was supposed to be by that video. Jackson's videos all had plots in them. There was always a story in there, usually having to do with what the song was babbling about. His dancing was always perfect and went along with the music. I have seen many Micheal Jackson videos (I know I have not seen them all, as this morning when VH1 and MTV finally played some, I did see a few I had never seen before). However, I have seen many. I've seen them mostly on "Pop Up Video" which is one of my all time favorite things in the word to watch, as I could watch music videos all day long and having random tid bits of information is just all the better.

Last night, as I watched the "mini-movie" that "You Rock My World" and I began thinking, "There is a lot of Micheal Jackson in Justin Timberlake." I did not realize at the time, that video was from 2001, so it might have been the other way around, but as I watched this mini-movie music video, I realized the music video was dead.

When you think about it, what is the last music video you've been excited to see? When was the last time you stopped what you were doing in order to watch a music video? When was the last time you actually saw ALL of a music video? When was the last time a music video debuted on prime time television?

I think I might have been in first grade or second grade, when the Dangerous Album came out and "Black or White" premiered on prime time TV...I think on TGIF Friday maybe? I do not exactly remember, but I do remember everyone at school being excited to see it on TV that night, and one just had to watch. I do not remember much about watching it, I do remember it was the most popular song at the talent show that year. Of course, I had no idea what the song was about or why it was such a big deal until I saw the video when I was in junior high or high school on "Pop Up Video."

I also remember being shocked when I found out Micheal Jackson was black, as throughout my childhood as far as I knew he was a funny looking white guy. I think it was my mom who pointed out that the black child who was the lead singer of The Jackson 5 was the same Micheal Jackson who had the little nose and white face. I also really figured this out more when I watched the movie/long tv show/drama thing about the Jacksons.

As I entered junior high and the boy bands all started coming out, I remember thinking Micheal Jackson wasn't cool. I did like his song, "You Are Not Alone," which to this day is the only Micheal Jackson song I own, as it was nominated for a Grammy, thus on the Grammy CD I own. That was the music video with Lisa Maire Prestly and I couldn't figure out how they had made it when Jackson was showing so much skin.

There will always be an elephant in the room when we think of Micheal Jackson, because his crazy, mixed up personal life over shadowed his talent as a performer. However, that talent is perserved in the countless music videos he made. His crazy personality does show through in most of the videos, so he is not totally lost.

What is totally lost is the music video. The last music video I watched in full was Britney's "Have U Seen Amy." It casused a buzz because of its "dirty" chorus, which I guess I'm stupid becasue I don't get it. I also didn't really get the video. Most of todays videos I don't get. Most of them are tasteless and stupid. None of them are truely sexy or artful. While I have a hard time taking Michael Jackson as sexy, his videos are artful and thought provoking. There might be sexy, artful videos out there, but I'll never seen them because MTV, VH1 and the various other "music" channels don't play music videos, as they do not think people want to watch music videos. I used to not be able to live without MTV and VH1 for the music videos. Now, if I did not have these channels, I wouldn't notice, as I do not watch them any more. I think a lot of people feel as I do.

I believe Micheal Jackson changed music, he used music videos to do this. I don't think he would have become what he did, professionally, without music videos. He gave us the form of the music video that was copied for years. He created stories in his videos, they were not just him standing around singing, there was always a theme.

Some poeple out there think he's getting too much attention and he shouldn't get it due to the elephant in the room. Farah Fawcett died on the same day as Micheal. However, we all knew she was going to die, as she's been fighting cancer for awhile now and it was rumored she was getting worse. Micheal came out of left field and caught us all off guard. If you look at the two of them, I'm going to have to say that Jackson had more of an impact than Fawcett. She gave us a hair cut, one season of Charlie's Angels and a poster. Jackson gave us countless music videos, years of high jinks, and music that shaped a whole generation (and then some) lives. Everyone's got a memory linked to a Micheal Jackson song. I can't say I've got much linked to Fawcett other than the fact my mother told me she couldn't get her hair to do that Farah Fawcett cut. I'm not saying Fawcett should not be mourned, I'm just saying the world's reaction to Micheal Jackson's death is expected. At least, Fawcett will be at rest and her passing will be more peaceful with the world's glare focused on Jackson, who always lived for flash.

my dog is barking loudly in my ear

the fluff ball dog that does not own a leash and just wonders the neighborhood is out and invading in Basil Dog's window territory. Dumb dog.

Earlier today, Basil Dog got tired of going for a walk and decided it'd be great fun to take a nap in the middle of the street.

In other news, I heard Stephan King thinks Stephanie Meyer can't write. Be warned, Twi-Hards will be hunting you down Mr. King. However, you might be okay, because the Potter fan will fight those Twi-Hards off of you as you said, JK Rowling could write.

I've become one of those bloggers...

Oh my god, I suck at posting here. Anyways, my reason for posting: CONRAD WANTS OUT!

OHNOZ! How can this be? I thought he wasn't going to as Bush Boy for a pardon? I thought he was ABOVE THAT?!

Jerk.

Cravin' freedom? One should have thought of that before you GOT CONVICTED and STOLE THAT $$$$ and became a total sketch bag. Dude, was Radler always orange? If so, that should have totally tipped you off on him. Orange people tend to be sketchy...especially when they wear rainbow ties and falling apart shoes and have whispy hair and REALLY ORANGE SKIN. But, no, Mr. Black, you went along in the plan, got your $$ and then you went on trial because the SEC found you out and BAM, you are in jail and now YOU WANT PUSH TO PARDON YOU FOR BEING A SCEEZE BAG?

I bet Bush will do it. Do you know why? Black is part of the corporate world. He is a big player (or at least thinks he is) and he likes Bush I bet. Deep down I bet Conrad LOVE BUSH. And even if he's not on the list now, he might get himself addes at the last moment. Yet, if Bush boy is smart (which he just might be at some point) he wont' do it, as Conrad isn't very American. Or Canadian for that matter. He is British. And last I remember, he was really a man without a country because no one wanted him. Poor Conrad. Fallen from grace.

Oh, and I just like this for its title: Conrad Black is an Idiot.
Anyways, I am done ranting about Conrad Black.

At least he's not bored...

It seems, Mr. Conrad Black has gotten himself a "job" while he is sitting around his prison cell in Florida. He's been writing like crazy since he got there, but now he's working for the Daily Beast.

Whoa. First off, he wrote an article about McCain and how he failed when he needed to be totally hard core. He titled it "McCain Missed A Trick." Now, Conrad doesn't truly lay out a good plan of attack...he is mostly just using his usual huge ass words and waffling along. But he has generated himself press, something I bet he misses.

Today, an article on FDR appeared. I have a feeling Mr. Black thinks he's a major know it all when it comes to FDR, as he did write a book on the man. However, it seems he might need an editor, as pointed out here. I wonder if they have those in prison?

The City that Has No People, Suddenly Has Many

I lived in St. Louis for about nine months. I worked in St. Louis for at least six of those nine months. I had an interview in downtown St. Louis during Christmastime. It was midday and there was NO ONE ON THE STREETS. It was totally creepy walking around the streets near Macy's and the street being void of people. It was something I was just unable to comprehend, being from Chicago, where during the week there are a TON of people on the streets and at Christmas time there is hardly room for people on the streets. Every time during those nine months we lived there, neither my husband nor I ever saw people on the streets, except during a baseball game. However, I guess there are quite a few people in St. Louis.

And I guess it is not the Christmas rush that brings the poeple out of hiding in St. Louis, but Barack Obama simply saying "Hey, just meet me in St. Louis, okay?" Who woulda thunk?

i want give you caaaannndddeeee

So, today, I was tooling through Google News and came upon something that caught my eye: Hugh Hefner splits from Holly Madison. Now, one would think that this would have no barring on my being, yet it does. Tragic I know. I will let you in on a secret: I watch The Girls Next Door and I LIKE IT! OOH NO!!!!!!!!

Anyways, it seems things for Hef aren't going too good, as Kendra is always leaving him. You know, I do not know what he expects. These are all YOUNG GIRLS and he is a VERY OLD MAN.

Anyways, the show has always fascinated me because of what it is and at times I just do not understand. I am an addict of things that I do not understand (WHERE DID SARAH PALIN GET HER ACCENT?!) and Girls Next Door is one of those things I just do not truly understand, yet I cannot look away. It is like watching Passions. I could not understand it, yet I could not look away (until it left NBC for Direct TV or something...or went off the air?) However, I do understand that the show is about Hef's three live in girlfriends. And he just lost two of them. Evidently, Bridget is still around, but abraod...FILMING A SHOW FOR THE TRAVEL CHANNEL!!!!!!

Did I ever tell you that my dream is to be Samantha Brown? Well, it is. And now Bridget is a step closer to being like Samantha Brown because she got a show on the Travel Channel. I am sad.

However, shortly after finding that Bridget might beat me to my dreams of being on the Travel Channel, per a German website, I find out that all three girls have new boyfriends and thus this is why they are leaving Hef. Kendra is enganged?! I....I....I...don't understand!

But I digress, Hef isn't totally heart broken over the loss of two girlfriend (Holly being the "love of his life") as he has clearly moved onto something that is the sterotypical male wish: twins. At the same time. And from that picture on the right, they look like they are orange twins. (Someday, I would like someone to explain to me why people thing that this whole orange thing is atttractive.)

I just told my husband about Kendra and Holly and he asked, "Which one is the ghetto one?"
"Kendra?"
"She's leaving? She's the whoel show!"

I totally missed this!

David Radler ran away to Canada!

I always knew he'd wind up in Canada and serve a shorter sentence for being a squirrelly little man that was orange. I wonder if he's still orange? I bet he's not. I bet he is pasty. However, he will soon be out and about, as in Canada he only must serve like 1/6th of his 29 month sentance, so he will be back to being orange in no time, do not worry. I bet he might even go buy some new shoes...or maybe just keept those beat up penny loafers he wore during the trial? Strange man, that one is.

oh, the insanity

Another reason to dislike McCain: He totally canceled on LETTERMAN!
Letterman seemed to handle the whole thing with grace, which I commend him for. I think it is totally shitty to go talk to Curic over Letterman, as I would rather watch Letterman than Katie in all honesty. I still cannot take the nightly news from Katie seriously, thus why I do not watch the nightly news. I am more ampt to watch Letterman...if it weren't for the Daily Show and the Cobert Report being much more entertaining...But seriously? Suspend the campaign due to the economic crisis? What is McCain going to do? Put on his Superman costume and fly into Washington and save the day? I think not. McCain can save the economy about as much as he can save the world due to his war experience. (Oh, don't get me started on the whole war experience. Just because he was locked in a box for five years doesn't make him capiable of running a war any more than Obama. Now, if McCain was a general rather than just a pilot, this would be another story. He wasn't a General. He was a Navy Pilot. A PILOT. If you're in the AF or Navy, you tend to know the sort of person who becomes a pilot...yeah...I'm done now.)

If McCain flies into Washingon and does start wearing a costume and saving the day, then maybe I will think, "Okay, then its good you stopped your campaign and wanted to suspend the debate." However comma, I do not believe he is going to find a super hero costume and wear it, thus I will go back to the whole: YOU ARE LAME MCCAIN! YOU ARE LAME!

He is lame. End of story.

The End of An Era...the start of a new one?

So, today, while tooling through Google News, I found out that MTV is canceling TRL. Here were my reactions, in no particular order:

1. TRL? People still watch that?
2. TRL is still on the air? Isn't it illegal to play music videos on Music Television?
3. It is about time they threw out TRL. No one knows anything about music on MTV any more anyways. They should just stick to what they know: bad reality shows.
4. I cannot believe TRL was on for 10 years.
5. God, I am old! I remember when TRL was NEW AND EXCITING AND YOU JUST HAD TO WATCH TO FIND OUT IF N SYNC OR BACKSTREET BOYS WAS NUMBER ONE! I remember when the Carson Daly era began!
6. Best freaking headline out there. Cause, really, did anyone even know TRL was still on the air?
7. Where did Carson Daly go?
8. What the hell is FNMTV? And why does Pete Wentz get to host it? Did anyone notice he can't sing?
9. Oh, wow, FNMTV plays music videos. Does it play them in full or just in snip its like TRL did after it became uber popular.
10. God, that annoyed me about TRL. I just wanna see the videos in their full glory, not just five seconds of it. I waited all day for MTV to play music videos and now you tell me you're going to play five seconds of it? Or not all all? God, whatever.
11. I wonder what happened to that world music station that I used to watch? I used to watch Fuse, but they sold out on me like MTV and VH1 did.
12. OH MY GOD! VH1 CLASSIC PLAYS POP UP VIDEO! THEY SHOULD TOTALLY BRING BACK POP UP VIDEO!
13. Wasn't I thinking about TRL before? How did I get on Pop Up video?
14. God, I am so freaking old. I watched Pop Up Video the other day and the "new" videos were like from 1997.
15. I cannot believe TRL outlived Pop Up Video!
16. Why is MTV kidding itself that it's going to "rest" TRL? MTV doesn't play music videos. Hell, Disney Channel plays more videos than MTV does.
17. Eminem isn't dead? Wow. Where did he go? Did he run off with Carson Daly?
18. I wonder how much more life the VMAs have in them? Especially since MTV doesn't actually PLAY MUSIC VIDOES IN THEIR FULL GLORY NO MORE.
19. Wait a second....this whole FNMTV sounds a lot like the orginal TRL....

"Starting in November, new and viewer-tested videos will continue to have a home on the Pete Wentz-hosted FNMTV, featuring a pretaped combo of videos and in-studio performances, which had a successful 15-episode run on Friday nights this summer," Natalie Finn, E! Online

20. I am old. I ACTUALLY remember when MTV ACTUALLY played music. And that was ALL THEY did. I watched music videos on MTV when I was BORN.

Its a Ranty post, watch out...

I woke up way too early this morning. For various reasons, one being that at 7 am the William Tell Overture blasted at me, as well as the rest of the whole neighborhood. The other reason I was awake was Sarah Palin. I know, you're wondering why Sarah Palin woke me up at 7 am this morning. Well, actually, she woke me up before that, when at some point I began thinking too much for my own good and really just got mad and thus, couldn't go back to sleep. Due to this being unable to go back to sleep, when the William Tell Overture blasted from the loudspeakers outside somehwere, I did not mind. I had all ready been awake for awhile, screaming in my head about choice.

I decided somewhere in the wee hours of the morning I hate politics. (Okay, truth be told, I decided I hated politics around the time I declaired my major as Political Science.) I hate the fact there are two parties in this country and the whole point of them is to bittle one another it seems. I hate Republicans. For a long time I had no basis for this hate, sort of like my hate for the Dallas Cowboys. To this day I have no idea why I hate the Dallas Cowboys. Yet, today, I decided I do know why I hate Republicans for the most part: many of them are very small minded. I feel sorry for them that they are so small minded. I do not understand how one can allign themselfs so fully to a party. I tend to side with Democrates just because that seems to be where I fall every time I take those silly "what party are you" tests. I am more a moderate than anything. Okay, fine, I will tell you the truth, I am lackadasical. I DO NOT CARE! I know, I know, I should care with every fiber of my being. I should rant, wail, and picket. I realized this this morning as I lay awake being bothered by Sarah Palin.

Why does Sarah Palin bother me? Well, first...where did she get that accent? Seriously, I have met people from Alaska, people who have spent their whole lives there. They do not sound like her. She almost sounds like strange mix of Wisconsin and Minnesotian. I also have met people from Idaho, and they do not sound like her either. Where did she get that accent? Did she make it up? That was the first thing that annoyed me about her.

I did not put much thought into her again, until her daughter Bristol (WHY? She has five kids, and the one with the most normal name is Willow! Track? Trig? Did she hang out with Bruce and Demi? ) turned up pregnant. I know the Republicans. They are all "oh! we need to promote abstience in the schools and not tell the precious children about birth control, condoms, or what sex actually is! it is wrong to cloud their minds!" So, I was sitting in my chair thinking, "Well, doesn't this instance just prove the absidence stance does not work? Teenagers are going to make the choice to have sex whether they are educated on it or not, and it would be better to have them know how NOT TO GET KNOCKED UP wouldn't it? This is my logical thinking on it. Also, I heard all about sex and how not to prevent it and then learned all about STDs and totally FREAKED OUT and had no interest in having sex for the rest of my life. Now, we have a pregnant girl who made the choice to have sex, got pregnant and her mother is all for abstience only education? Did she have this education for her daughter? If so...uh, I think it didn't work. I am very sorry to say this, but it didn't. I do not care her daughter is pregnant, nor do I think that Palin is a horrid mother because her daughter made a choice to have sex, but...uh, its easy to prevent teenage pregnacy...its called birth control.

Another thing that annoyed me about her was her stance on abortion. I know, I know, its a touchy subject. I feel it is a subject that DOES NOT BELONG IN POLITICAL CAMPIGNS. IT IS NOT A POLITICAL ISSUE. WHY IS IT IN GOVERNMENT? WHY DOES IT MATTER HOW A MALE CANIDATE FEELS?! I think abortion should remain OUT OF POLITICAL CAMPAGINS because it is an issue having to do WITH A WOMANS BODY. It is her own freaking choice if she wants one. It should remain how it is because if it doesn't, it will still go on and desperate woman will do desperate things and end up worse off than before. Its happened before and if we go backwards, it'll happen again. I do not understand why Palin is against it in cases of rape and incest. In the case of those two, usually the woman did NOT HAVE A CHOICE and if she ends up pregnant, she should HAVE A CHOICE on what to do about it. (gets off of soap box.)

The other thing that annoyed me had really nothing to do with Palin herself. It was just the whole system of "let's attack the other guy and be little him with stretches of the TRUTH!" When I was a senior in high school, we had to run a political campaign. I was in a group that was in charge of our groups political commerical. We did one of those commericals that smeared the other canidates by pointing out their faults and cracks in their campaigns (like almost ALL commericals do in the real world). My group got a lower grade because we did not PLAY FAIR with the commerical. Huh? Are you kidding me? You tell me this will aid me in facing the real world and understanding the election process, but we can't do the election how THEY DO IT IN THE REAL WORLD? I believe this was the start of my disenchantment with the world of politics, if I truely think about it. Here's the thing, why is it okay to attack Jamie Lynn Spears for getting knocked up, but you can't attack Bristol Palin? Seriously, tell me why. It is totally hypocritical of the media and everyone else involved.

So, those are a few of the reasons why Sarah Palin kept me woke me up this morning.

In other news, after a rain fall to end all rain falls in the dirt hole, the mosquitos are out in force now and eating me alive. My husband swore up and down that there were none out yesterday when we walked to the gym, but I am covered in bites. And I found one trying to attack me this morning while I was watching the news and getting angry at Sarah Palin again for blaming the countries issues on San Franscico. Urg. Free your mind. Move forward in life. Urg.

I will say this for her: she has a good sense of humor (or who ever wrote that great joke for her.)

"What's the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull," she [Palin] said, pausing for a beat and a smirk. "Lipstick." From, Palin delievers star-turning performace at the RNC, by Tom Raum and Liz Sidoti

Seriously, that was funny. Well, to me (and a few others.)

Complete, Oh the Joy!

1. I actually totally finished sewing something! And I adverted disaster by changing up the design and getting rid of a zipper and now it functions as a shirt...it was supposed to be a dress, but let us not dwell on that...

2. After running around in circles and getting nowhere for eight years, my father finally figured out the issue with our cell phone carrier: they think he works for corporate. Like he is a huge big wig. Alas, this is not true.

3. After getting totally leaked on the internet and Stephanie Meyer deciding to just pick up and quit, I decided not to read Midnight Sun and just read this. It was highly enjoyable, just like all the other Twilight recaps she's done. In the future, when I have a huge craving to get into Stalker Edward's head, I might settle down and read the whole thing on Meyer's website. However, currently I'm all emo-ed out.

4. I finished reading My Antonia. I thought I would hate the book, as it was a classic and I have a hard time reading classics on my own. I do not believe I have read one that was not an assigned book in my whole life in all honesty. But I read this one, and I have to day, I liked it. I'm a sucker for historical fiction to begin with, so it was easy for me to get lost in the Nebraska outback. The only thing I thought the book lacked was a tie up at the end. The title character marries some guy, pops out a load of children and cries a lot. I figured when I began the book she died. Tragically, she did not die. I believe only one guy died in the whole book. For some odd reason, I was looking for death, after being sorely disappointed at the lack of death in Breaking Dawn.

5. I totally spent four hours out in the sun and DID NOT GET SUN BURNED! I have totally conquered the sun.

6. I did watch the Democratic Convention. I do not have a lot to say about anything. It was pretty much what I expected. I did like the Cobert Report and the Daily Show's take on the whole thing. I think I have become one of those totally apathetic people in life. We'll see if the Republican Convention does anything to upset me. If it fails to do so, then I know there is something wrong with me and I must go jump off a cliff or something. This did amuse me: Assessing the Political Impact of Bristol Palin's Pregnancy. Maybe she's having issues because her name is Bristol? And what possessed the woman to name her other kid Trig? Does she have the same complex I have with having a common name? I mean, I got a lot of crap when I went through the stage I liked Cincinnati as a name...for a story character.

Say it ain't so?!

OMG.
I am so upset.

Okay, not really. I was just sitting here thinking that come November, I'd get another Harry Potter movie to enjoy. I could pay 2.50! Oh, the excitment!

Nope.

Stupid Warner Brothers is being evil. It won't come out till July 2009!!!!!!!!!!! WHY!? Do they not realize that I will be UBER busy trying to come to terms in an unknown location?! In November I would be happily doing NOTHING. I would have time to see Harry Potter in the theater, and I would not be watching James Bond. I do not like James Bond films unless they are TV with a thousand and one commercials in them so I can get something to eat and watch something else while also watching James Bond. Wait, there is not much cross between Harry Potter fans and James Bond fans. Oh, I thought so.

I will blame the Dark Knight, as the silly studio seems to be under the impression that in the summer is when people go see movies. Now, yes, so far this summer I have seen a record THREE movies. However, this is not because they were released in the summer. No, this is because I happen to come across THREE movies that I thought were worth seeing. If this happened in November, I would have gone to see THREE movies. So instead of going to see it in November at Thanksgiving time, I have to wait until JULY 2009. Oh, the blood is boiling as the people who make BILLIONS just to squeeze BILLIONS more out of the Harry Potter franchise.

Well, I might have to fill the void of no Harry Potter with Twilight now. Just to have something to do.

oh, but to wait a little longer

Surfing. I enjoy surfing. As long as it is surfing the web. I spend a great deal of time (much more than I ought to) surfing around the web. I think I inherited this skill and time consuming hobby from my father who has surfed around the web since it began. He was at the forefront of web surfing, maybe one of the first to spend a great deal of time surfing away. He has always been web savy, always understood how it works, and always wondered at how its changed.

I tend to surf for the same type of things on a daily basis. I have my Google New page set up to aid in this mindless surfing for news stories. Yesterday, I was rewarded with all the responses to Mrs. Black's wailing about being betrayed by friends. The FT (Financial Times) seemed to agree with me. Or at least how I thought I had written my rant on her story. I think my favorite part when when he seeming spoke to Mrs. Black, saying on her snip about the appeal hearing that did nothing for proclaiming that Conrad is innocent:

Lady Black, it was an appeal court. Of course Judge Posner kept on interrupting to discover points of law when faced by a defense attorney rhetorically claiming that Lord Black had been a victim of a miscarriage of justice.

If you don’t that know this is how US appeal court and Supreme Court judges behave in order to get to the point, you don’t get out much.

Oh, how I laughed at that. It is so true. Plus, I always enjoy tongue in cheek writing like that. Another point the author makes here is how she's moaning that all their high power friends left their sides in their hour of need. Sure....you asked for it. As, John Gapper puts it:

She appears to be particularly hurt that their friends (and Hollinger directors) such as Henry Kissinger and Marie-Josée Kravis did not stick by them when things got ugly.

Well, if you choose your friends according to how important they are and treat people of lesser wealth or social status with contempt, as the Blacks were notorious for doing, then you should not be surprised when your “friends” do not stick with you through thick and thin.

This is true. During the trial, a "birthday party" for Mrs. Black was put on the block. It was mostly paid by Hollinger, but was billed as a "surprise birthday party." The defense went on to ramble about how this wasn't a personal party because none of their friends were invited. Oh? Really? As time wore on and talk of the birthday party worn on, I realized something: The Black have no personal friends. Every single thing they do, event they attend, event they throw is a NETWORKING FAIR. That is the whole purpose of their lives: networking, something I loathe from every fiber of my being. I understand its point, but in our world today where it is how you get anywhere, you hardly ever get anywhere on merit. One of the witnesses for the trial was a former editor...I do not remember his name, but he wrote a bunch of books or something later and got these nice jobs because...because he knew Conrad Black. He tried time and time again to tell us he did it all by himself, but that is just a lie he tells himself. He is where he is because Conrad told him to be there (like on the witness stand).

Another article worthy of mention is the Guardian blog, Greenslade. The article, titled Ameil plays Cleopatra in casting Conrad Black as Dreyfus. When I read the orginal bit of "fiction" by Mrs. Black (also known as Mrs. Ameil Black, or just Ameil sometimes...woman has too many names), I had some of the same thoughts. However, never seeing American Gigalo, the movie she referenced, I had no clue what she was talking about. However, the reference to Cleoplatra he makes, I do understand. Ameil Black is the queen of denial. The author Roy Greenslade closing paragraph really hit home:

He [Conrad] and Radler - who, at least had the grace to admit it - rooked investors while deceiving fellow directors and shareholders for their own personal gain. That is the beginning and end of it. Her attempt to portray Black as a naive innocent deserving of our sympathy because businessmen can't get a fair trial in the United States is risible.

If businessmen did no wrong, they get a fair trail. Isn't that how the system works? Did I miss something? Oh, wait, no I did not. I was there, I know I missed nothing that would proclaim the reality Amiel Black toots is reality. I missed the bigger picture, the bigger scheme that truly went on due to the system of objections and "that's not important!" However, as one ages and learns, there is always a bigger picture behind what is on trial. You hardly ever get the whole truth and nothing but the truth. You do get facts and lots of facts. You get lots of paper and more paper. And you get the picture that something sketchy went on and end of story.

everybody things i'm weird

Well, this past weekend I came across two articles that caught my attention simply by the headlines: Conrad and I were betrayed and US Judge Amy St. Eve Rezko Judge is a big punch in a small package. Both were found under my Google News section for Mr. Black.

The first one caused me to roll my eyes a few times. During the trial Mrs. Black spent a good deal of the time she was in the courtroom glaring, just as her husband spent his time glowering. Both of which were understandable to me, as neither believed he or she should be on trial an in the courtroom. Now, while this trial has been over for a year and Mr. Black has been moved to a jail in Florida, I cannot figure out why she simply has not accepted the facts and moved on. Something fishy happened. End of story. This fishy thing that occurred was...illegal and now you must pay the price. I do not believe the people in the trial were used as "a lesson" for others out there. I am not sure I know of a person who would plead guilty to something if they were no guilty of something in general. Radler might not be guilty of what he plead to, but it had to be a worst crime he was guilty of if he plead guilty to something he wasn't. The fishy character that Ralder is causes him not to be bullied and not to do what is not best for his own orange hide. This comment by Norman Farrell summed up my feelings on the article:

When people spend a career comforted by sycophants and servants, they lose ability to judge experiences with common standards. Conrad is convinced he did nothing wrong. Barbara is too. The jury disagreed. The Chicago trial judge, one of America's finest, disagreed. The appeal court did too.

Norman Farrell, Vancouver, Canada

The next artcile, well, I've read several like it. Judge St. Eve is really one in a million it seems. Now, I have not worked with many judges in my life, but I have heard horror stories. Judge St. Eve understand how to get a jury to work together and how to make them happy. To be on a jury (especially one that goes on for three long months) is hard. It disrupts your life. It causes you to live a different life and disconnect from the world. You don't go to work except one day a week, you cannot talk about what you have been doing for that time, while everyone alive wants to know and tell you what they know. It does have its perks, as I took it as a learning experience. I followed the Rezko trial throughout all of it, and while many people complained about all the 'breaks' the jury took, I knew why. Life must go on for happy jurors. If you have unhappy jurors you will never get an answer that is impartial and clearly based on the evidence. and unhappy jurors will take a lot longer than ones who are happy working half days trying to sift through mountains of evidence.

Another news article I was pointed at, was this one by Clarence Page, who my dad had worked with at one point: Paris for President. I had not heard much about this, other than a little spot on Talk Soup about Kathy Hilton's response to it. It is an interesting story, how Paris's plan for energy might be the best one out there. Well, who ever wrote the two minute dialouge's plan that is...

Let The Vauge Musings Begin!

Hello. First post in this new blog, which is a public forum for musings. Stay if you want, go if you must. Let's get started.

For a few months over a year ago, I sat in a court room almost every single day, listening to the rantings of lawyers. That is all I was allowed to do, as when it was all said and over with, I was long gone. However, a few months ago, I became slightly obsessed with the case, Mr. Conrad Black's case, so I began reading news stories every now and then to keep up on the matter. Mr. Black went to a Florida jail, Mr. Kipnis went on house arrest and started selling signs and the other two obvious went to jail at some point in their lives, I just do not know where. No one cares enough about them to say much. However, that so called star witness...what occurred to him?

Well, Patricia Best finally told me where he was in her post here: O Radler! O Radler! Where for art thou David Radler! The title is what caught my eye when it appeared on my news page.
I had thought that Radler was long gone to Canada by this point in time, as all the lawyers (the defense ones) made it clear that this is where he was going to go once he set foot in the American jail of choice. However, from this article, it seems that he's still wallowing away just as Mr. Black is wallowing away. Only, Radler is wallowing in silence, while Mr. Black is still making noise loud and clear.

Mr. Radler was a rather fascinating character on the stand. He had been built up to rival Mr. Black in stature and pose. He was a let down. When he showed up he was a skittish little ferret type of man who was orange. Seriously, the man was orange and wore purple and hot pink ties. Who was this man who brought down the Black empire!? He was orange! Just like the Ompalumpa's from Mr. Wanka's chocolate factory! He might have even been as tall as one. Least to say, he was a less than steller witness due to his being orange and not seeming to know what he was talking about. He was like a guy I once knew who lied a lot. He lied so much he got to the point he no longer knew what the truth was from the lies he told. It all fell together into a muddled mess. People got stuck in this muddled mess of a lie. This muddled mess Radler created got a lot of people in trouble, but there must have been some substance to him pleading guilty, as he did this and it was not in his favor or in keeping with his save his own skin nature.

The comments at the bottom always fascinate me on articles/blog posts such as the one in Nobody's Business in the Globe and Mail. People who failed to be at the trial always seem to fail to truly understand what happened.No one saw Radler as the people in the court room did. It is neat to see how people react to the whole thing. The whole situation was rather complicated and muddled and for someone who is not in corporate anything or a lawyer, it was almost like the people were speaking Greek. However, somewhere in that corporate nonsense, humans were still humans and something fishy happened. I do not think anyone really heard what that fishy matter truly was, but Fritzgerald got jail time for all except one of the guys he went out to get, so I guess at the end of the day, the fishy thing that happened was punished in a sense.