Weekend Adventures for Basil Bea

After finding out he was not going to Hawaii this weekend, Pilot Boy decided he was going to ski from Russian Jack Park to Earthquake Park. There is actually a trail that goes that far through the various parks of Anchorage. He did not ski down Northern Lights. Which is a street. That you and the crazy people of Anchorage drive down. The crazy people of Anchorage usually only cross country ski in parks. (Though I have seen people skiing down the sidewalk on Turpin Road/Street.) But, he did not want to ski out to Earthuqake park and then back home. So, I dropped him off and then loaded Basil Bea Dog into the Monstrosity and drove her to her favorite park in the whole wide world.

And then she went NUTS.

First, I locked her in the trunk because she hopped into the car and went into the trunk. So I put the middle seat up and left her back there. She wasn't sure what to do about this, but she was like, well, okay. Then, we pulled into the parking lot of the park and she saw her BOY! AND SHE WENT INSANE. She twirlled, whined, flipped over. Then I let her out and she REFUSED to put her leash on. I was like, "You are not leaving this car till you get this on, DOG."

"You think so? Fine. Put the chain around my neck. Good? Okay, later."

And out she went. I did not realize the leash was not attached to her chain. So I went running after her while Pilot Boy loaded his skis into the car. After I got her leashed we stood around for awhile while Pilot Boy put his boots back on and then....Basil Bea....saw....other...dogs.

Lots of dogs.

So what did she do?

She sat down and made lots of loud crazy noises. I am not sure how to discribe them as they were somewhere between talking and whining and something else. It was a very unique noise. So, when Pilot Boy was ready to walk, SHE PULLED ME DOWN THE SNOW LADDEN WALKWAY TO THE DOGS. Making this strange noise the whole way.

The dogs and Basil all sniffed one another's butts, then I was like, "Okay, you said hi. Let's go. We're walking, not playing."

The other dogs were not on leashses (even though it clearly states your dog must be leashed, but most people in Anchorage do not seem to leash their dogs) so they followed us down the path, sniffing and barking at Basil, who was like OVERLOAD!

She pretty much made vocal noises for the rest of the trip, had hissy fits when other dogs did not pay attention to her (one dog was chasing after his owner on skis and paid no heed to Basil Bea). She danced through the snow, dove head first in a few times, and tried to make all dogs pay attention to her. After a short walk (Pilot Boy was cold due to the fact he was sweating to death), we loaded Basil Bea into the car and she sat in the seat (Yes, she sat in the seat. Like a person would sit in a seat. This is how she rides in the car since the issues we had at Thanksgiving. It is like she knows if she doesn't sit still I will LOCK HER TO THE SEAT.) and was smiling the whole way home. Then she danced around the house all evening.

Yesterday, Pilot Boy made pull pork for dinner. Basil was fed dinner around the same time we were eating. Basil Bea eats...oddly for a dog I guess. First, she usually sits while she eats. And she has NEVER eaten quickly. She usually eats pretty slow for a dog. Unless she's stressed or excited, but usually she's just NOM NOM NOM. Anyways, she also has this strange habit of taking a bunch of food into her mouth, walking to a different location, dropping it carefully and then eating it. Hit repeat a few times and then she sits at her bowls and eats. Well, we were making our pulled pork sandwiches and I was going to toss a small bit into her bowl (she was being a good puppy). Pilot Boy did it first, as soon as she had backed up with a bunch of food in her mouth.

EXPLODING PUPPY FOOD!

She simply dropped the food from her mouth as quickly as possible and dove head first into her food bowl to get the tiny piece of pork. There was dog food all over the kitchen floor, rolling everywhere. Pilot Boy and I laughed, as it was the funniest thing we'd ever seen. I had not realized when she sat down a mere six inches from her bowl, she had a mouth full of food. I thought she was waiting for her piece of pork. Nope. Later, after she licked her bowl clean, she looked around, took a drink of water, then realized "HEY THERE IS DOG FOOD ALL OVER THE FLOOR! BEST DAY EVER!"

She then cleaned the floor of the exploded puppy food.

All in all, Basil Bea seemed to have a pretty good weekend.

Quest for Sushi

On Thursday, I decided I wanted sushi for lunch. Strangely, Fred Meyer has okay sushi and I also needed milk. I opened the garage door and peeked in the garage to discover Suzi the Subaru was hanging out in the garage. Due to the fact it snowed, Pilot Boy took the Monstrosity to work.

I decided to do something really stupid at this point: I was going to take Suzi the Subaru out in the snow.

Why was this stupid? Aren't all Subaru's 4 wheel drive and made for racing through the snow?

Well, yeah, you'd think that, right? At one point in time Suzi did do such things.  See that picture above? Yeah, all Pilot Boy did was back up and drive off. When the car lived in the Midwest, Suzi the Subaru seemed to like the snow and cold.

Then we put her on a ferry and she went away for awhile. When we saw her again, she had a crack windshield and smelled strongly of gas when ever we turned her on. So we took her to fix her windshield and then found out she had been recalled for the cold weather/gas issue. So, we made the tragic mistake of taking her to...the...Subaru...dealer...in....town.

Suzi has never been the same since.

Things for Suzi went bad when we picked her up form the dealer. Five minutes of driving, the engine light came on. The next day the dealer called and told us because the car wasn't from Alaska, Subaru rejected the recall, so WE HAD TO PAY. We also discovered, the dealer had "fixed" other things. The seat was all whacked and the turbo gauge did not work. They wouldn't fix Suzi unless we brought her in and paid them MORE MONEY, so we took her to a independent Subaru shop. After two tries, the turbo finally worked and Suzi no longer was trying to kill us (her brakes didn't work right after the dealer was done with her either.)

However, after all this trauma, Suzi the Subaru decided she didn't like Alaska. Especially winter. She...won't work right. She flies. I am serious. I think Suzi the Subaru wants to be an airplane.

Pilot Boy thinks if we got snow tires all Suzi's problems would be solved. I think not. I think Suzi hates winter. I also think her brakes are still jacked up. But what do I know?

Anyways, all ready knowing that Suzi the Subaru doesn't like winter and refuses to stop, I took her out on Thursday. It has snowed overnight and Anchorage doesn't own snow plows. They own snow packers. But those hadn't been out yet. Anyways, I put myself into the car and backed out. Everything went fine till I went from our subdivision to the main road.

I wanted to go left.

I ended up facing the opposite direction I wanted to be heading and in the wrong lane.

Why?

Suzi the Subaru decided to spin in a circle. I moved in slow motion as I just kept turning after I made the left hand turned. I have never spun out in a car before. Ever. Even when I drove three hours to work in a snow storm in a car with two wheel drive. And no snow tires. But, there I was, turning around in a circle in the middle of the street. I came to a stop and decided I'd just to the way I was facing. Left hand turns in Suzi were dangerous. So, I laughed like a maniac and drove down the road and went the long way to Fred Meyer. I pretty much kept laughing like a maniac all day and was kind of off my rocker (which might explain why I made the adventure for sushi in the first place).

During this long trip to Fred Meyer, Suzi tried to go into the middle of the intersection on a very busy road (she refused to stop sliding down the road). On the way home, she tried to spin again on the same road, only I was making a right hand turn.(After the first spin, the whole trip was right hand turns, so I kept singing, "Just keep turning! Just keep turning!"

Let me tell you about Thursday.

1. It was not snowing.
2. The roads were pretty clear by the point I left the house.
3. It was not that cold, it was in the upper 20s.
4. THE CAR SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN HAVING THE TROUBLE IT WAS. Why? Because it was a star in the Midwest and Thursday was a very Midwestern sort of day, okay?

Conclusion: Suzi the Subaru was messed up by the dealer and now hates Alaska.

She also hates Alabama, but that is another story.

The Death of Paper

So...last weekend/week my husband went to live in an ice cave. Seriously, he was in an ice cave.

But that isn't the point. The point is, I wanted to desperatly read a new book. So you say, Ireland, go to the library.

I can't. We don't actually have a library card because we never took the post card back to say YEAH WE LIVE HERE! And because when I went into the library, I didn't like it there. I am serious, I am very picky about what libraries I will use. I am a library brat. I think I only used the library in my home town because my mother made me.

But I'm not going to talk about libraries, or we'd be here forever. Like the time I talked about parking lots for two hours. BUT I WILL NOT DO THIS!

No, I want to talk about...eBooks.

I don't actually like books. I like READING. I like the art of creating WORDS ON PAPER. I like STORIES. But I hate the actual books. Why? Easy, they are cumbersome. Have you ever had to carry Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire in your purse? Have you ever attempted to carry more than one book in your purse? That are hard cover? I have you ever packed a whole suitcase that was just full of books and then gotten yelled at because you had no socks? (This might have been toys and not books, but you get the point.)

When I worked, I always had a book with me. I turned myself into Rory Gilmore and ALWAYS had a book on me. And my shoulders hated me. I know, why didn't I carry paperbacks? I did. They still take up room. And they still weight a lot when you carry around three of them. During the time I spent with Conrad Black, I read A LOT OF BOOKS. People BROUGHT ME BOOKS TO READ. I am totally serious. And I still have them because the people who would give me books would VANISH randomly during the trial. So, then I'd have a backpack of of paperbacks.

It was also at this time, I began to realize it kind of sucked trying to eat and read at the same time in a chair. (I never sat at the table. I had two chairs I used. It was MY DOMAIN, the Reader in the Corner who Never Talked.) Reading on the train also kind of sucked, as it was hard to keep the pages flat while trying not to touch the person next to me.

I began reading at lunch in high school when I was a ball of nerves and could not EAT in a room of peers. So my mom suggested I read jokes in Reader's Digest. We had spent the summer cleaning out my Grandma D's things and had an a collection of RD's. So they were in my lunch box and I was the weird girl reading during lunch. BUT IT HELPED. But, it did make it hard to eat.

So, back to where I started. eBooks.

I didn't get eBooks when they first appeared. I was like, "WFT? Another device I have to buy? Lame."
I didn't buy straight eBooks because I like to read all over the place. So, one day, I was watching TV and there was a Kindle add for the Kindle app. It moves between devices or something and I was like, "Interesting." I had been getting "free" books off of iBooks to read during times I wait for things (like the two hour oil change. I MADE myself read The Wizard of Oz.) So, I sat on my couch, picked up my iPhone and found the kindle app. I told myself if it was free, I'd get it.

It was free.

Then I went into the Kindle Store and found a few Maureen Johnson books I had wanted to read (they weren't at Target, where I buy most of my books because Target owns my soul). I hit the little download button.

Seven days later I was like "OMG THIS IS AMAZING."

Why?

I will list it for you.

1. I always have at least five books with me at all times.
2. I can read anywhere, in any position and the pages don't move unless I want them to be moved.
3. I can READ AT THE GYM. It is the most amazing thing in the world to make time go by quickly. It'd go better if I had a bigger screen than my iPhone, but STILL!
4. I can get a book at any time without leaving my house (as long as I have access to Wi-Fi.)
5. My shoulder no longer aches from toting around books. I always have my iPhone and it doesn't weigh as much as book.

There. Five reasons why I like eBooks.

I know eBooks do not smell. I know they aren't "books" and the experience in reading them is somehow "different." But, I was never super attached to the actual "book." I never did like book stores. They freaked me out. Too much in one small space. I remember being BORED out of my mind when my friends would go into used book stores in Madison. I would feel like I was wasting away into nothingness. It was like, TOO MANY BOOKS, BRAIN EXPLODE.

I am horrible, I do not care. I like reading on my iPhone. To me, there is nothing different than reading a book on my iPhone than reading an actual book. Also, after I read the book on my iPhone, I don't need to find another book shelf to put the book on. I only have two bookshelves and they are both full. So, in reality, I can't really get any more books. Unless Pilot Boy makes me another bookcase. It took me four years to get the first one.

How To Tell You Hate Your Home

1. Let your house get messy.
2. Then let it get dirty (It totally helps to buy a black dog.)
3. Wait at least a month between spot cleans.
4. Wake up one morning when the sun is out and think "I MUST CLEAN HOUSE!"
5. Begin to clean house.
6. Realize the carpet is gross.
7. Realize several of the baseboards are popping off the wall.
8. Cringe as you dust the ugliest brass fixtures known to man (which have never been dusted.)
9. Spend a half hour cleaning off all the soot your husband got on the kitchen window and discover the window is gross as well.
10. Scrub down the counter tops and discover they are stained and who ever cut them didn't cut very straight.
11. Clean the baseboards that are around the counter tops and realize the caulk is coming off. Gross.
12. Clean the tile in front of the fire and suddenly remember its PINK. My god its pink...
13. Open the door to the laundry room and shut it quickly. The room is too scary.
14. Clean the bathrooms.
15. While cleaning the bathrooms realize the counter tops (same as the kitchen) are coming off from the wall.
16. Clean the floor and ponder why it won't come clean. Scrub a lot. Still drity. Give up.
17. Fall over and remember why you never clean the house this much: It reminds you how crappy it is. And how in desperate need of updating it is.

EEEKKKK!!!!

Omg. I think I just finished a book.

What the hell do I do with it?

I don't know. Maybe now I will actually sleep? As I think what has been keeping me up is rewriting and making new scenes in my head. Yeah....it consumed me.

But I think its done.

It is only 351 pages...un-edited. I don't know if that is long enough. It should be, right?

I just needed to share I had finished. And oddly I am not thinking, "OMG I DO NOT WANT TO LOOK AT YOU AGAIN."

Which is how I felt about a lot of things I have finished.

Doggy Smell in my Nose

Basil just emerged from her crate, so she smells very strongly of...dog. I do not know how to cease the doggy smell about her, as I clean her, her crate and everything around it, but no matter what, within an hour or two, she smells like a dog again. Due to the fact I have a sinus headache and have since last night, her doggy smells is highly annoying. She is not, her smell is.

We figured out why she was shedding up a storm: she was dry.

Like her skin was dry, not she was dry from lack of water to drink. Anyways, we started her on these Doggy shed control vitamins and try to brush her more, and she is softer and less of a shedding wonder than she was before. She loves her Doggy Vitamins too...sometimes that is all she will eat for the first hour or so she is up. I am sure my dog would eat anything I put in her bowl as long as its flavored with something. She loves her heart worm meds and when she had worms, she loved the pill I gave her for that to. She was so pleased with herself after she ate it...it didn't work, but as far as she could tell, she had just gotten a really special treat for no reason!

We had a "warm spell" these few past days (or weeks, time blends into one big blur at times) and the snow melted, reminding me why I hate spring: it is ugly. When the snow melts, this place isn't pretty any more, it is just dirty and gross. I like it when snow clings to the trees. I like when there is so much snow it doesn't look black. When it melts, everything you've forgotten about shows up. Like dog poop.

The only positive thing this has led to, is that Basil Bea poops in the same area now all of a sudden: under the tree. We can only hope it remains this way, as this makes for easier pick up when one must mow the lawn.

Also, we have confirmation that the large hole in our front yard's snow drift was indeed a moose. As the snow melted, we found a pile of moose poop in our front yard. Again. So a moose did decide to take a nap in our front yard at some point. And eat my dead flowers. that were poking through the snow. Hopefully they will grow back, because that was one of those annuals I paid big bucks for at Lowes.

In shop news, I'm trying to figure out what bags to make for spring still. The bags I made in the winter are winter/fall bags, so I decided I won't fight with the sun and my house to photograph them for the shop till this summer. So, since the new year, I've only been renewing items. I still can't figure out if its worth it to renew the paper items, as I think I have renewed them to the point where I am paying someone to take them away from me (which would be fine, as I need to get rid of them.) I did discover a tragic flaw in the paper bags which I must fix. The ones I made with glue fall apart. Well, the bag doesn't fall apart, the paper I stuck to the front falls off when an item is in the bag. Totally lame. I knew there was a reason I did not like glue.

Now it Might Make Sense...

So, yesterday I wrote this entry, and now I will get to what I really wanted to write, but I just had to tell you that back story in order for this to make the most impact. (Or not, I might just be insane.)

While I do not understand Twitter or use it to its full extent, I still do enjoy it and do follow quite a few people. Recently, I renewed my interest in actually doing something with my writing, so I started following authors and people who write blogs about writing and publishing and....aghast, an agent. 

Anyways, one of the authors I follow is Marueen Johnson, who writes YA fiction. I enjoy her tweets because...well, she's funny and I seem to "understand" them for what they are. And even if I don't, I'm amused. Anyways, she said something about this software geared towards writers. Because I was curious, I checked it out.

Now, what was this software? Scrivener.

OMG, you guys, I think I am going to DIE.

After surfing around the page for awhile, I downloaded the trial version. Within five minutes I was like, "WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?!"

The next day I thought my head was going to explode just because the program did everything I had always wanted. For years I have been losing documents that just have random notes, lists of cars, list of songs, list of places, character developments, and various other research. Sometimes I get massively organized and put it all in one folder, but there is still things that go MIA. The Epic Novel has this problem a lot. I seriously remember making a new list of colleges and major for the characters and have NO CLUE where it went. I did a whole night of research on what high school classes they were all in only to discover six months later, it was totally GONE.

HOWEVER, with Scrivener, you can get it all in once place, in one program and not have to have a million different word documents open at once! So far I stuck the Student/Professor story into the program and IT WAS THE BEST 8 HOURS OF MY LIFE (well, in my life of writing).

The other thing I liked was I DIDN'T READ ANY DIRECTIONS on how to use it. I just USED it. It was that intuitive that I just opened it and 8 hours later, I had my novel in the program. Also, I like the fact its got this feature where you can write scene by scene, make outlines and has a section to aid in character development. When I rewrote the Epic Novel the first time, I actually made summary of each chapter and what I wanted out of the chapter and I felt that allowed for the whole thing to be BETTER. Of course, this was when I still carried around notebooks and pens, so I had it written down and didn't have to have yet another window on Jess open.

I digress though, this program does ANOTHER wonderful thing. I have ALWAYS wondered how long my stories/novels would be if they were in book form (and by book form I mean, that it is laid out in how it would be printed out if it was a REAL BOOK). All I had to do was hit the compile button, then choose what format I wanted, and BAM. I had a Word document that was a REAL LIFE BOOK. Not simply pages of 8 by 11 virtual paper. But how it would be laid out if it were a book! The feature to do this through word NEVER impressed me, but OMG, after I complied it the first time, I was like, hey, I wrote a pretty long book! (I honestly did not think the Student/Professor story would be long enough to be an actual novel, but it is!)

The trial for Scrivener is good for 30 days from the first time you open it and I will be spending the 45 bucks to buy it. Because it is totally wroth it, as I will more than likely be using it a lot over my life.

Note for you Windows users, I am not sure if you can get a Windows version, as I have a Mac and it seems very Mac like and when I went to the BUY section just now, it as only available in Mac....

UPDATE: They do "do" Windows:  http://www.literatureandlatte.com/scrivenerforwindows/

This Might Make Sense Tomorrow

So, something you should know about me: I am random.

Just in case you did not know, or in case you randomly forgot. I am random and I make major life decisions kind of randomly.

When I was about 8 I randomly decided I wanted to be an actress even though I was terrified of performing.

At age 12 I randomly declared (only to myself) I was going to be a musician even though I could not read music or play any instrument. By age 13 I figured I'd just magically learn to sing on key and everything would be fine.

Still can't read music, play an instrument, and even though I sing on a daily basis and took voice lessons for two years, I can't sing on key.

At age 14, while sitting in church staring at the back of his head, I randomly decided that I was going to date my first boyfriend. A year later, I clued him in on this fact by writing a very long epic novel, which I started randomly because...

At age 15, I randomly decided instead of sitting in study hall doing nothing, I was going to write. So, I simply began writing. And writing and writing and writing.

At age 18, I randomly decided to go to Beloit College because they had sink in their dorm rooms. (And Illinois Wesleyan had wait listed me, which pissed me off. Never make big choices while pissed off.)

At age 20, I randomly decided my major while walking passed Campbell Hall, where my adviser just happened to be located. This is why I cannot answer the question, "Why did you become a political science major?" I honestly don't know, other than it sounded good at the moment, so I did it.

At age 22, I randomly announced I was never going to find a boy, so I was never going to look again. (I never really looked for one before, they always found me...but that is not the point.) The point is due to the random announcement, my friend asked if she could hook me up with her boyfriend's roommate. And a year and seven months after meeting the roommate, I married him. And I did not do it randomly. I pestered him for a few months, then planned for a few months, then yelled as he tried to ruin the whole thing, then finally married him.

And, at the age of 24, I decided I wanted a sewing machine because I was going to sew my own clothes. (I can't sew clothing.)

At the ripe old age of 25, I decided I wanted to make handbags and sell them because it sounded kind of random to me. And made little sense, as I hate sales. But I sell things.

And, while walking to get the mail at the ripe of age of 26, I decided I was a writer.

Yeah, you read that right. I am a writer. Why? Because I write. I write so much the fact that the desk we own is three inches too high has caused my wrists to constantly ache and I have to sit on three pillows and use a footstool because I can't touch the ground. I am of average height, but the desk was custom made for my not average female height husband. 

What is the point of this random entry? Well, mostly to tell you I randomly decided to become a writer and now you have the back story, so come back tomorrow to get the rest.

Hoppy New Year

It is hoppy, because I had some beer today.

So, 2010 ended. Did you notice? I did, only because the bowl allowed Fireworks this year and they all went super wild when 2010 melted into 2011. So, I decided (while staring out my window at the darkest storm cloud known to man that won't drop any percipitation on me) I need to write a "retrospective" kind of post. I used to do this sort of post at the end of a school year, but seeing I no longer attend school, I have moved to to year end. So here goes.

This year....

...I moved to Alaska.
...I sold 12 purses. Meaning during the time I was open from May 09 till Dec 09 I sold more.
...I went to the dentist twice.
....I did not go to the eye doctor, only because I went so often in 2009, I took a break.
...I lived in a house.
...I finally got Netflix.
...I did not have capped internet.
...I spent a great deal of time with Basil. So much so I told her we needed to see other people. She still follows me everywhere.
...I did a lot of laundry.
...Pilot Boy flew around the world.
...I "gardened" a little.
...on accident I grew organic ruharb.
...I ate sushi for the first time and now I need California rolls.
...I learned I do not like 24 hours of sunlight when the house I live in fails to realize it need a/c in order to not cause me to melt in my own home.
...I learned just because it claims to be only 50 degrees outside, doesn't mean its only 50 degrees in the sun. The sun is SUPER intense here.
...I still hated Del Rio.
...Basil knows the following words: Dinner, Breath Buster, Chummy Yummy, Walk, Ride, Outside, Potty, Good Dog, Bad Dog, Sit, Jump, Snack, Go to Bed, and Cage.
...made lots of mound shaped cookies.
...gained weight.
...I got my hair cut four times this year. At nice places.
...GOT A MAC. Who is named Lucy.
...Wrote a book about a professor and an exchange student. Will anyone read it? No. More than likely not, but I wrote it.
...I also rewrote that stupid high school story I am still working on 12 years later.
...Decided I do not mind it being dark at three pm. I get up at ten when its light out, what do I care that the sun doesn't rise till ten?
...I was unorganized in my life and in my mind.
...I discovered Basil and I have the same hair issues.
...I used Skype a lot to communicate with people. No one calls me on my actual phone. Except Pilot Boy.
...I only left the great state of Alaska once in 2010, after arriving.
...after arriving in Anchorage, I only left the city limits a grand total of 8 times. Four of those times were to go to Eagle River. One of the times I flew around in a large plane with the hatch open.
...I have turned into my mother. I do not mind.
...I watched a lot of "Doctor Who."
...I discovered "Glee."
...I watched a lot of random British TV shows I found on Netflix.
...I ended the year the way I started my year: Watching "Doctor Who."