I'm a Reading Machine, Hear Me Read

I just finished mowing the lawn. For the last time....this year. I hope. It was finally sunny. I ought to have gone out and mowed it...last weekend. Buuuuuuutttttttttt, I didn't. I stayed in and read. Which I've done. Daily. For. The last...month? I'm lame.

Books I've read in the past month:

The Circle of Magic (Sandry's, Deja's, Tris's, and Briar's book. There are four books and I read at least two of them (Sandry's and Tris's) when I was 14. The summer before I started high school, I think. I might have read Deja's book, I don't remember. I never read Brair's book. Anyways, I re-read or read them all finally, as they appeared one day on my Kindle search for Tamora Pierce. I was like WHOOOO. They are brilliant as usual. I fell in love with Brair. I didn't like him too well the first time I read the books, Tris being my favorite character, but this round, I found Brair fascinating.)

The Circle Opens(Another four books that have titles. But I am lazy. I don't feel like looking them up. I just mowed the lawn and feel like death. Anyways, I read them in order. I think. I started out with Sandry, who was the only one who remained in the town where they'd all been brought together in the first place. In the series, each new Mage gets a student. And none of them really want a student. Sandry and Deja kind of suck as teachers and are the ones who are least inclined with their students. Briar isn't inclined, but he winds up being the best teacher. And it is not because I am bias that I say this. He's the one who quickly accepts his role and embraces it. However, I can tell from reading about 14 year old Brair, he's going to be trouble as he gets older. And enjoys it. Tris's book, though, was my all time favorite out of the four. I liked her student quite a bit and I liked witnessing the changes in Tris.)

The Will of the Empress. (Totally a GREAT book to wrap up the whole Circle series. I know there's another one, but it doesn't feature Sandry, Deja, Tris or most importantly Brair, so I've not read it yet. Anyways, this book starts after the four have been apart for years upon years and have grown apart. They've cut themselves off from one another and then travel into hostile territory. Throughout the book, they finally manage to open themselves up to one another though, so it ends well. Well, for some of them. And I was right about Brair. That is proven in this book. And while it is perfectly understandable, it kind of annoys me. But I KNOW THERE IS A REASON, so I know it shouldn't annoy me. Not everyone can be as I WANT THEM.)

Faking It. (And ADULT BOOK. And by that I mean, it's aimed at Adult like people who want a romantic, introspective book to look at. Or read. It was pretty good...I was slightly frustrated after making one care so much about the two main character they never "got together." Oops, spoiler.)

Getting Caught. (This was okay. I liked that it was mostly about two former friends, who due to lack of communication started pranking one another. And hated one another for basically teh same reason, even though neither had done what the other hated the other for. Typical teenager. Cute. Not the best Mandy Hubbard, but she did write it with another person. So far, RIPPLE is the BEST Mandy Hubbard book. It was even better than But I Love Him.)

Beautiful Disaster. (I had low hopes for this book, after skimming the reviews. I was mostly interested it because it was about COLLEGE people. College Freshman. I haven't seen many books about college aged people, so I leaped. It was kind of long and it was kind of...stupid. But it was like crack. Or a soap opera. Like Passions. I miss Passions sometimes. It was like a train wreck and you just could not stop looking. That was this dumb book. It was like horrible accident that you just had to keep reading about. It was horrible. The relationship was...horrible. And then...the ending sucked. It was like Twilight all over again. Only with...sex.)

The Ghost and the Goth. (OMG. I read this twice in two days. It is...fluffy. But SO DAMN GOOD. I saw this in the bookstore when I went to get R her present for her July Birthday, which is still sitting on my dinning room table for no good reason other than....I am the laziest person known to man. Anyways, I saw it in the book store and I knew I was a gonner for two reasons: the uber popular girl and the outsider. I'm a total sucker for these things. I'm sorry. I knew it. Then add in teh ghost aspect and I was like, SQUEEEEEE. And it lived up to all my expections. Only, the publisher failed, as it's not on Kindle yet for Book 2. BAH. It's the last book in the Immortals series all over again.)

Between the Lines. (Yet another book after reading the first two lines of the description I bought without reading any more, as it was about...Hollywood. Acting. Movies. Add in a wee bit of Romance. I love these topics as well. My all time favorite books as a kid always dealt with actresses and TV or movies. So, I got this right away and read it twice in two days. I love that it's told from two perspectives, the guy and girl. I also like how it ends, which I always surprising. Endings are the worst for me. I can't write them, I hate reading them. Then, I found out there's another book in the series and I was dancing around the room.)

Epic Fail. (Another I got when I saw Hollywood in the description. The book was kind of an epic fail though...it was a retelling of Pride and Prejudice from what I could tell. Which must be some book, as several of the books I've read over the past year are basically re-tellings of that story. Elizabeth Bennett is a big deal and I have no clue why. Why? Because I've read four pages of PP and thought my mind was going to explode. I only know what it's about because I watched Lost in Austen after Claire told me to. But, while the other stories I didn't SEE the story line playing out for me, I did in this story. Even the character's names were close to the original names used. It distracted me throughout. Also, while I loved how we FINALLY got to know the main dude near the end, I was rather unhappy it just ENDED rather randomly.)

Anna and the French Kiss. (This has popped up in the recommends since I got my Kindle. Whose name is Kendi. I don't know if I told you that. Anyways, I've always looked at it, heard wonderful things about it, but something prevented me from hitting the BUY button. I have no clue what, but it did. Finally, though, yesterday, I hit the buy button. And the book ate me alive. I am serious. It ate me alive. It has EVERYTHING going for it. A great main character voice, a wonderful boy to fall in love with, and great supporting character and....Paris. I'm not a HUGE Paris fan. I've never had this undying NEED to go to Paris. Or learn French. Or know anything about French. Except the French Revolution because it MAKES LITTLE SENSE to me. Like Communism. Or Economics. Things that make no sense to me, I always want to know more about. In a sense, I want things to fit into neat little boxes. But, that's not the point. Paris is not London. Paris is not Glasgow. Paris is not British in other words. So, I don't care about it. In the title, on the cover, you can tell Paris/French/France will play a role. It does. It is an important role. But, I wish that hadn't prevented me from buying the book. Because...this book is AWESOME. I can't even put it into words. I think I might be able to read this book a million times. Like Harry Potter. Or Summer Story (which I wrote, and I've read a total of five times. And I still love it.))

Falling in Love With English  Boys. (Duh, I got this book after seeing the title. It was kind of hard to get into, mostly because it is written as a blog written by a 16 year old in today's world, using today's slang, today's spelling and she write as I do. How she speaks. So thing are spelled wrong. I think if I read it out loud, it'd make more sense, but this was still pretty good. It was woven in with a diary of an 18 year old in 1815. Who knows a NICK. WHO ACTS LIKE A NICK. After this point...I kind of liked it more, so I read it too fast and missed a lot. I will read it again....after I read Anna and the French Kiss again. After I kill my barking dog. (Just kidding. I'm just going to wrap her up in a blanket and tell her she's not allowed to bark at the neighbor. She will look pathedic, I will go, "awwwww" and kiss her and hug her and she will cuddle up next to me and we'll forget she just scared the living shit out of me and more than likely who ever she was barking at out the front window.) Anyways, I love two viewpoints, and multiple story lines that weave together in the end, so duh, I liked this book. Plus LONDON. Tragically, it never out right told us who the 1815 chick ended up with, though it did tell us who she did not. Which was good, because I could sit there and be a dork.)

And that's it. Unless I add in there the stories I've written that I've read. (Mostly Summer Story. It's the only "complete" one. The others all need re-writes. Like RAB. RAB needs help I've decided. I have never been bored reading it till the last time I looked at it. I still loved the characters, but god, I was like, WFT was I thinking?)

Do people really say, in every day conversations, "BRB." Like say the freaking letters instead of "Be right back?" I had a friend in high school who said, "TTYL" And I always blinked at her. As my head doesn't work fast enough to figure it out. I've just noticed in the last few YA books, that in the actual conversations people have they are speaking in texting lingo. LOL, BRB. GTG. I am like, HUH? I AM OLD.

Oh, so I mowed the lawn. And I ignored the neighbors and people outside. Enjoying the fall day with my broken earphones, which one was stuffed into my shirt thumping and making horrible noises. Pilot Boy ran off with all earphones or lost them. We had three sets of BRAND NEW APPLE earphone, THREE sets of fancy ones and now the only ones I have find are the broken OLD APPLE EARPHONES that came with MY FIRST iSHUFFLE. SERIOUSLY?

I'm going to go die now. Or watch Doctor Who.

After all this why...

Ten years ago, on 11 September, I was seated in the cafeteria. I had no homework to speak of because I was a senior and just seemed to lack homework in general. So, I was writing in my "journal." (It is in quotes, because I had two journals in high school. A public one and a private one.) Here is what was going through my head the moment I hear the news:

September 11, 2001: I've come to the conclusion I will always have an odd ball obsession with That Guy. You see, most of my childhood crushes, they went away and the person left too. That Guy never left. He's always lurking around in the background, always there. And when he wasn't for a semester what happened? B. And now he's almost nowhere and on my mind 24/7. When I'm not pondering B, I'm pondering That Guy. I swear it is the last name. Generally when I'm thinking or talking about That Guy, it's always That Guy Insert Last Name, though after five years of him I still can't spell it. And now he's remotely cute and people like BF think so, I am just so grrred. And it wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have B in my ear whispering, "i love you babe." Then I feel guilty for thinking about That Guy and those dreams... B either scares me or makes me melt by how much he loves me. At times I feel like a sap b/c I feel like a "7th Heaven" character. Then I wonder will I really marry him? Okay, they just made some announcement that I did not hear, but I bargain someone or people died. I did catch "mom of silence," "world trade center," and "airplane." But, I guess I'll hear later. 


Anyways, back to B. I really don't know what to do with him. At times I love him, miss him, want him near, but then That Guy, who I have next to no chance with, floats into my head. I will never comprehend what that was all about. And then I'm not sure. And then there's this car thing. What is that all about? So what, BF can drive if you can. It's just a car, not a baby. Grrrr....it's hard to juggle people. You know, I'm a bad person. How can I love someone I can hardly ever say anything nice about? I'm one screwed up girl. You know what, I'll probably get an ulcer and it won't be from any pain pills or drugs.


"I need to get away and find something to do. Cause everything I do reminds me of you." -Goldfinger, "Counting the Days"


Later: Okay, big day in history. The two World Trade Towers collapsed after two airplanes flew into them. The Pentagon had a plane fly into it and another hijacked plane crashed in PA. My dad's stuck in San Antonio, thank god he wasn't flying. Third hour we watched CNN. It was surreal watching both towers crumble to the ground. Just thinking I was there and now it's gone. It was just odd. I don't think Dad was coming home today. Plus, all the planes that were hijacked were transcontinental, ie NY to LA. So, I'm figuring that he's just stuck in San Antonio. There's talk of war and such. I'm finding this all hard to believe. It's like straight out of a movie. That's what all the news footage I've seen has looked like. Like the second plane flying straight into Tower Two while the first ones burning. Then the two falling to the ground live on TV. I don't know. I just want to go home and see the news. I need pictures. Well, and I gotta call B. Oh god. I have to deal with this on the retreat. It's like (almost) Columbine. Well, large scale. To put it mildly I'm grrified. It's just surreal. I've never lived through something t his big. I mean, it was announced during school. They didn't announce Columbine. This will be in the history books. My kids might ask me where I was when I heard. I was sitting in my 2nd hour study hall pinning over That Guy and B, wondering what I was going to do. At least my dad wasn't flying. Stupid SBC. If they just followed their stupid travel ban maybe....grrr.....grr....grr. I'm just glad he wasn't in NY or DC. Thank God.

Well, there you have it. That is what Ireland Scott was doing ten years ago. And my reaction to when I actually heard what happened. You see, at the time, there were no speakers in the lunchroom, thus none of us who were in there heard what the hell was announced. We all just looked at one another in a confused manner and the two teachers in with us, kind of shrugged. When the bell rang, we were the ONLY people talking. The whole school was utterly silent. And none of us who were in 2nd hour study hall had a clue what was going on, as no one was speaking. Everyone was just walking around in silence. I went to my locker and then got my stuff. I walked to my 3rd hour class: US Government. I was beginning to get a bit freaked out, as NO ONE WAS TALKING. My teacher, Mr. E, was standing in all his Nordic glory, but he had the gravest, freakiest face on in the world. (he kind of looked like Erik from True Blood, now that I think about it, when he's being all freaky serious). Usually, Mr. E smiled and greeted me as I entered, but on that day, he just stared at me. I was like, "What the hell is going on here?"

The TV was on, and turned onto CNN or something. I don't honestly remember which channel Mr. E chose to watch. I just remember sitting down and staring at the TV wondering what movie he was watching. Then, I realized, it wasn't a movie: IT WAS REAL.

It never sunk in what I was looking at. I just sat there the whole hour, watching the live footage, watching the other footage of when the first plane hit. I watched the first tower and second tower crumble that hour.

Then I went to lunch. I think I wrote that second half of my journal entry at lunch. Or not, as I think I sat with someone that semester for lunch. It was just so surreal going through the day. All I wanted to do was watch the news, even though I knew after the second tower fell, there wasn't much else we could watch. I spent the rest of the day shocked we were still going through the day. Only one teacher actually held class that day. Our physics teacher went on as nothing was going on.

My mother also picked me up because my father (who was indeed in SA and was supposed to fly home the next day) was fearful what the nutjobs in our town would do to the Islamic Center that was behind our high school. The cops had the same fears as they were out in full force when I got out of school. They were there for several days after as well.

The other clear memory was when I heard the first plane after September 11th. I was walking home from school and totally freaked out because I had no clue what the noise was. You'd think growing up under a landing pattern for O'Hare, I'd know what a plane sounded like.

I've asked Pilot Boy several times his memories on September 11th, but he can't tell me much of anything. Which is normal for Pilot Boy. He doesn't remember much of anything that isn't about flying an airplane. He doesn't remember half the things I remember clearly....like the first time I drove down to Purdue for 24 hours just to see him, when I first showed up to LEAD...and sometimes he doesn't remember clearly the events of the day he asked me to marry him.  At least he remembers me...

you can't go on, you can't even talk

I always knew it was time to go back to school (or the school year was upon me) due to certain types of dreams I'd have. They'd always feature a few certain characters and always seemed to leave me in a slight panic.

For the first time in years, I had one last night.

I am serious. It was the strangest thing, as I have not had one in years. Well, since I left school behind me. Recenctly, something needed to trigger for certain people to appear. *coughs*

But, I had a school dream. In school, though it didn't exactly look like any school I've attended. It was like an odd combination of my high school and middle school. And I was "new" but not at the same time. The story line for the dream went as follows: I went to the school for two years, then transfered to Belleville East and then took a semester off. I appeared again and was behind lost. I did the wrong vocabulary exercise in the workbook while a girl I never had English with but was my friend ignored me and refused to help me. Meanwhile, the other guy sat across the room mocking me because I failed to do the work right. No one would help me. Then, during passing peroid, I could not find my locker. Then someone was nice enough to tell me since my last apperance at school, they had added a fourth floor. The fourth floor had green and white floors and looked a lot like Del Rio Middle School. Except with lots of windows, which Del Rio Middle School does not have. I explained my circumstancs to the teacher, who did not care. (They never do in dreams.)

I woke up in a panic.

Then I was confused, as I didn't have to go to school. I seriously wanted to go to school. I still feel like I ought to go to school.