30 December 2008

and so that was christmas...

Christmas in the dirt hole was a rather surreal experience. For one, it was almost 80 degrees that day and I had the flu, so I was just uncomfortable all day long. It was only my husband, myself and the dog. The dog got a new toy (a bone filled with something smelly) that kept her attention almost all day long. She adored the bone to no end.

Most of our presents were practical presents. We got more of our china (one more place setting, and a group of soup bowls) and more wine glasses. I think we have 12 wine glasses. The fancy ones. We finally have every day ones, as my husband got me the stemless wineglasses I wanted. We got three DVDs (would have been four, but my brother and I were on the same wavelength and got my husband the same DVD...) and two games. It was a good haul, which got better the day after when the clothes arrived. My husbands dad and step mom gave us clothes! (and in the case of my husband shoes).

I adore clothes. I love getting clothes as presents. When I was a kid, I liked getting clothes, but they weren't the same as toys. However, about the time I was in fifth grade, I liked getting clothes. I just did not seem to get the clothes I wanted. My mom didn't seem to be able to get me stuff I'd wear. In fifth grade she gave me a pair of jeans, which I remember I was excited about until I put them on. I HAD HUGE HIPS! I know, why is an twelve year old thinking that way. I know I didn't have huge hips now. I bet they were tiny. But standing on my bed looking at myself in the mirror above my dresser, I was thinking I had huge hips. I all ready thought I had fat legs (I had thought this for a long time, I do not remember when it really started, but I do remember instances when I'd look at other girls my age and think, "Wow, they have really skinny legs. Mine are huge.") Thus, my body image issues began at who knows when, but I can pin point my feelings of huge hips to that moment on Christmas morning. I do not remember if I ever wore the jeans after that, but that was the last time my mom gave me clothes for Christmas. I never got clothes from her again as far as I can remember until I was in college and she gave me work out clothes for my 22 birthday. Man was I excited. I needed new pants to work out in and there they were, perfect workout pants.

I always hoped my family would get me clothes for Christmas, even after the wide hip jeans. They never really did until my grandma started getting me sweaters for Christmas after I was too old for toys and she had no idea what to get me. So, my dad said, "Uh, you can get her a sweater? She wears a size small." And so, I began to get sweaters. I love each one she got me. They were never exactly what I would have gotten, but I realized I loved each one. Freshman year of college she got me a purple sweater (I had to exchange it as she got the wrong size) and I wore it quite a bit. The next year she got me the softest, Grey sweat shirt. I still have it, even if the sleeves are too small for my liking. And the last two items have been pink sweaters. Which I would love to wear, but I live in a dirt hole that is not really cold enough for nice sweaters.

When I started dating my husband, the first Christmas I got a green, fleece jacket from his dad and step mom. The next Christmas (we were married) I got a pearl necklace (so lovely) and this year, I GOT CLOTHES! I WAS LIKE OMG THERE ARE CLOTHES IN HERE FROM THE GAP! I LOVE THESE CLOTHES! And they all FIT! Though, the best was a shirt not from the gap that said "I write." on the front and then on the back listed a the top five things writers hate to hear when they tell people they write. I've heard almost all of them and hate them all equally.

22 December 2008

Dog for the Holidays

Two weeks ago, my husband and I drove the three hours to the biggest city within a stone's throw of the dirt hole to obtain a dog. I decided about three months ago, I wanted a dog. Actually, it was back last spring when I was alone for four weeks (or six?) and was paranoid out of my mind and realized yet again, I hate being alone. Well, for long extended peroids of time, on occasions I need "me" time and time to do my own thing. (I had about a year of my life where I had NO ME TIME and after I was on my own again, I was like, Dude, I wasted a year of my life not doing what I wanted...)

Anyways, we got up before the sun was fully up, and drove into the rising sun to obtain Basil Dog. I was overwhelmed at the dog adoption fair (once we found it) as there were so many people and not that many dogs. There were less the type of dog I wanted: a small lap dog. My husband wanted a rottweiler, which I had no interest in having. Anyways, we were wondering around and he found a dog that looked like a mini rottweiler but was pending adotpion. Why would you bring a pending adoption dog to an adoption fair. We wandered a bit more till we found a less crowded tent and another dog that looked like a mini rottweiler. We found out she was a beagle mix of some sort (later we decided she was a beagle/terrier/something else mix) and we paid for her and attempted to bring her home.

She didn't want to leave and my husband carried her to the car. She was too large for the crate I had bought (if I had gotten what I truely wanted, it would have been fine), so she just lay in the back seat of the racing station wagon (its a Subaru Impreza hatch back, better known as the racing station wagon). She was silent on the way home, didn't want to get out of the car and seemed still unsure about us and life in general. She was more playful once in the house and turned into the puppy she is (the lady we got her from thought she was about 10 months). Two weeks later, she is truely a puppy. She eats foam ear plugs, pin cushions and other things. She likes to eat my hand off while I try to reward train her.

She has yet to go after the Christmas tree or the presents, but everything else seems to be fair game. She used to understand the table in the family room was off limits, but as of yesterday, she's gone after anything on the table. She licked clean several mugs of hot choclate and tea. She drank my water off the table, and that was where she found the pin cushion that I had forgotten to put away after making a pillow for her to lay on. For the first week, I could leave her unattented while I was in the study working or in the bathroom showering. Not so much as of last Friday. She's pushing her boundries now.

This morning she got overly exicted upon the arrival of my husband and two of his fellow wanna be pilots. (They will achieve their goal of being pilots, they just aren't "pilots" yet.) She peed on the floor at the sight of D. Seriously. I mean, yeah she hadn't gone yet this morning, but I was sound asleep and suddenly I hear, "Uh, Basil Dog peed on the carpet because she was excited to see D." That was what woke me up this morning, the need to clean up pee. Lovely. After this joy to see D, she decided she still didn't like D. I'm not sure why? Because he doesn't smell like a dog? She likes our other friends who have two dogs. She seems freaked out by D. No idea why.

Freak.

21 December 2008

Home for the Holidays

I don't go home for the holidays. Seriously, if I'm more than 100 miles away from home, I just don't go there.

The first time I was away for the holidays was when I was living in Scotland. I made the choice not to come home at the end of term (17 December, the date is seared into my head). I wanted to experience the full holiday season in Scotland. In June or July, whenever I bought my ticket, this sounded like a WONDERFUL idea to me and my friend who was also living in Scotland. However, she was staying a year and by the time we actually went to Scotland to begin the whole "living abroad" thing, she freaked out and was like, "I'm going home for Christmas!" Which left me on my own, which freaked me out. As time went on, I was like, "well, okay. I'll just be alone until my other friend comes to visit a few days after Christmas. I'll figure something out."

Oh, I did. I went to spend Christmas with my boyfriend. Yeah, it was REALLY STRANGE. Like, really strange. I felt the whole time I was intruding on something. I felt out of place and out of touch with reality. Now, my boyfriend I had whilst in Scotland was from New Zealand, yet his whole family was EVERYWHERE in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD, and it just happened his uncle lived in Edinburgh, thus where it made logical sense for him to spend Christmas. He asked if he could bring me. His uncle said yes.

We road the train to Edinburgh from Glasgow on Christmas Eve, catching the almost last train. This annoyed me to no end. I thought we were going to "go out" on Christmas Eve, but no one made any move to go anywhere and we sat around drinking the liquror brought in a pillow case and eating soup. The boy and I were put up in a kid's bedroom (kids were in Glasgow) with another "family friend." It was strange on many levels. In the morning there was a sock filled with bobbles and things for the two of us, which amazed and shocked me. The cousins who were visiting (who were from Protugal) had been in charge of the stockings. We made our way over to the "main house" and the whole family opened gifts (I got a jar of apple butter and a CD, both of which I have no idea where they went). Later, we went for a walk through the "snow" coverd "hills" and I froze to death in my beautiful mint green coat.

Dinner was somewhat normal, only really missing the cranberries. After dinner, the family broke up into pieces to watch the Halo game. At some point I ended up play for almost two hours with the six year old girl until the boy started throwing up.

The boy threw up for almost two hours. I meanwhile, felt sick as well and did not sleep at bit.

Boxing day all I wanted to do was go home. However, we had no way to get home. The whole country shuts down for Boxing Day. Also, the guy who we had been crashing at his house, left for Glasgow to get his kids. This meant no bed. I wanted a bed, I wanted ginger ale, I wanted to go home.

This six year old was rather attached to me. We went to her mother's house for Boxing Day meal, which neither the boy or I ate, due to the fact we wanted to ago to Glasgow. After finding out the trains weren't running, we went to the bus station and found they were running, so we took the bus home.

Then, once back in downtown Glasgow, the boy made us wonder around for 45 minutes to catch the bus back to the flat. Finally, I stopped on Suchaihall STreet and yelled, "I AM TAKING A TAXI. YOU CAN WALK OR WAIT FOR YOUR STUPID BUS."

He got in the taxi. We made it to the grocery store before it closed and got some bread and butter and lunch meat of some sort ( I think ham) and American Ginger Ale. Thus ended our hoilday.

The next Christmas I spent away from home was last year, when the holiday fell in the middle of the week and my husband couldn't get off. We ended up being invited over to my aunt and uncle's house for their Christmas lunch. They celebrate on Christmas Eve, thus there was no presents to be opened and instead they all marvled on how I had grown up so much since they had last seen me (which had been almost four years, and at that time I was very blonde). It was still strange and almost sort of loney once we went back our our apartment. We had opened our gifts on Christmas Eve, mostly because we were all alone, having been left by his family who had come to visit for a few days before Christmas. it was strange having our "meal" the day before Christmas Eve. It was strange not really celebrating Christmas in any way, as we had opened our gifts the night before (which was something I had never done.)

This year, being even farther away from anyone we known than we were last year, means we are really on our own. No aunts or uncles, or cousins for miles upon miles. We bought groceries yesterday and everyone was like, "Oh, you're staying here for Christmas?" It was like they were taking pitty on us for having no where to go. I'm not over joyed by the fact it'll just be me, my husband and our Basil Dog. But, that is my family now, and they happend to actually be with me this year, so its good. I'm sad none of our other friends will be around. I also am not so keen to subject myself to someone else's family gathering and have an out of touch with reality experience again like I did for Christmas in Scotland.

I must go find out where Basil Dog went, as she has a terrible habit of jumping on counters when not watched. She is but a puppy still.

18 December 2008

the gift of giving

I used to think I was really good at giving gifts. I used to walk into a store and wander around and would find something PERFECT for the person I was looking for. I'd buy it without much thought, wrap it up in the most lovely way and give it with a glowing face.

Then I went to Scotland. I went to Scotland and had this "quasi" boy like friend like person. I had to buy this "quasi" boy like friend like person a birthday present. I realized at this moment I had no clue who this boy really was or what he liked (past the part where I thought he might like me to the point where he would sometimes speak to me.) I searched Glasgow for something "Scottish" to give him and failed horridly at finding ANYTHING. He ended up getting a Burberry plaid tie (I adore Burberry plaid) and a hat I bought for three pounds that said SCOTLAND on it. Horrid gift. I was utterly embarassed the moment I mailed it off and worried about it for weeks. I am still embarassed about it. Mostly because of what occured later and how now I wish I had not sent that tie to him. He, I just know, failed to realize my love for plaid and more than likely never wore the tie or hat.

Later, I had to buy a Christmas present for the guy I hooked up with while in Scotland. I knew this guy better than the "quasi" boy, yet I was at a loss on what to get him. With the exception of one, all the other "guys" I had dated had been so easy to get something for. The best gift ever, I gave to the guy I dated for almost two years in high school. It was the first birthday I knew him for and I got him a tape recorder and a blue notebook. He had mentioned to me he wanted a tape recorder to record his idea for rapes. Thus, I gave him items to achieve his dream. I am serious that is the best gift I've managed to give. There have been a few moments of clarity like that since then, but none as great at that. I gave the guy in Scotland a package of Mars Bars wrapped in my baby blanket (which was about the size of a box, which actually replaced my real baby blanket that my MOM THREW AWAY). The baby blanket story had been told to this boy and he was the first person I had told the whole thing to who did not laugh at me and understood. (My husband understood as well and never made fun of me, and still lets me wrap myself up in the blanket that replaced the lost blanket...as I gave it to the Scotland boy (who wasn't scottish but that's another story).) Anyway, while I was in Scotland I felt that I did not need a blanket any more, so I gave it away. Only after I came home I realized I did need a blanket, thus one I bought in Scotland to keep warm (which was a baby blanket, but it was fuzzy, soft and cheaper than regular people blankets, give me a break) became the blanket I use to this day.

I digress, I suck at giving gifts. My poor husband has suffered at the hands of my horrid gift giving for years. I've given him a blanket. I've given him sweaters. I've given him socks and undershirts. I gave him kitchen utensils for our anniversary. My mom usually tells me what to get for our family (she is a master gift giver) and my husband's family usually gets what ever thing I decide to make for the year. Last year they all got candles. Everyone got a candle and stand I made from stuff from the craft store. I was going to make photo collages for this christmas, but I realized I'd never get it done because I was lazy, so I just bought stuff at random really.

Gift givin would be easier if I was buying for myself. I found a billion things I'd like today while Christmas shopping (well, really birthday shopping for husband).

At least I can wrap to some degree. Though I think the gift for my dad got damaged by the dog.

Oh yes, I got a dog by the way. More on her later. Its December. Christmas time.

11 December 2008

an entertaining reprieve

I finally went to see Twilight last night with two others, one of which had all ready seen it. The one who had seen it said that she liked it better the second time, the other said she wasn't disappointed because she knew she wouldn't like it. It seems she was like I and knew it was bad but just had to look.

However comma, I liked it. I mean, maybe I liked it because of all I had read on it? Maybe because I had read the movie in 15 minute by Cleolinda? Maybe because I hated certain parts of the book so badly that I was thrilled that they were MIA from the movie? I am not sure, but here is what I really enjoyed:

1. There was some Bella narrating, but I did not have to listen to 300 pages of how gorgeous, beautiful, lovely, stunning, dazzling, etc Edward was. I think I only remember her saying it once, and that was to his face.

2. PLOT SHOWED UP EARLY! Yeah, you know, the plot with those three EVIL vampires? Yeah, they showed up early! They had a back story! Oh, how exciting!

3. Edward...oh, he was actually wonderfully played by Robert Pattinson. (Or whatever his name is...). The way he was played was wonderful, the way Edward should be played. And in all honesty, seeing I hate Bella in the books, I had no probelm with Kristen Stewarts performance. She played Bella how I figured Bella would behave. Bella is sort of a stone, lacks much personality, and has nice hair. She brooeded well and played the sappy parts quite well. I heard from one of the girls that the other movie she had been in, she played that character the same way she played Bella. Oh well. So, she can't act? Nor can Bella.

4. The music was brilliant. Seriously, the music they put with each secne was perfect. I got goosebumps and the jumping insides all at the right moments.

5. I felt that the "relationship" and falling in love with Edward was a little more "developed" in the movie than the book. That was my major probelm with the book. WHAM BAM I LOVE YOU! In the movie it was more, Uh, why do you hate me? I don't hate you. Yes you do. I should hate you, I want to eat you. You're strange. We should be friends. Okay. Whatever. But I want to. Yeah, me too. Oh, you saved me. Okay, I'll take you home now. Wow you're strong and fast! I'm a killer, but look great in my James Dean outfit. Hey, let's hang out more, do you want to go to the beach? Uh, no...don't do that beach. Okay, I'll find out why. That's nice, have fun and don't die! Hey, its that Native American kid I met when I got here, let's get him to tell me something of value! Oh, what are you doing, Bella? Nothing, but I'll go to the bookstore and almost get attack by some bad, drunk boys. But I will save you in my hatchback volvo! YAY! I know, I am protecive of you. That is nice. Yeah, I hear people's thoughts, but not yours. Am I strange? No. I am. Okay. I thinkI love you. That is nice. I will read this book and surf the internet for answers. I love you, so I will follow you to the forest after you give me that evil look. I know what you are. SAY IT! Vampire bicha! Yeah, you got me, I sparkle. I love you. Okay, yeah, I love you too. Let's hang out and talk a lot and have nice sence of forsts and trees! Sounds good to me.

6. See, that was like half the movie!

7. Roselia had a bootie. That bothered me. Jasper's hair also bothered me, as did Carlise. What is with the blonde?!

8. Anyways, I enjoyed the movie for what it was. I was not expecting too much, maybe that was why I liked it?

05 December 2008

finding spirit

So, my mom introduced me to Straight No Chaser, who had been "making the rounds" in Chicago or something. So I hit the link, as she sent this shortly after my post about finding new Christmas music. I found new Christmas music. However comma, I have yet to drive my husband nuts with it, as he has never been around whilst while I was listening to it. Anyways....

I go through phases where I love the holidays and hate them with a flaming passion. Until I was 16 and had a job, I never understood why ANYONE would not like Christmas. However, once you work retail, you learn to loath the holidays. Longer hours, more angry people throwing checks at you and other things. My first Christmas holiday working, I was learning new skills and being heaped on with all this new stuff while people didn't understand I was in the mists of being "trained." So they did a lot of yelling and throwing things at me. I am a fast learner, but the first day I was stuck up there was the day after Thanksgiving, after having a "quick" lesson on Wednesday. I caught on by the end of the day, but least to say I was frazzled beyond all known belief.

Two Christmases at the same retail store, sucked the life out of me. There wasn't enough time to do my Christmas shopping and wrap things. Unfortunately, somewhere along the way, I do not remember when, I became the wrapper in the family. Everyone save my mom gave me EVERYTHING to wrap (except my own gifts, thus I always knew which ones were mine by simply looking at them.) When I did not have a job, this was FUN! I loved turning on my music, singing and wrapping and making my own bows. After I got a job, it was less fun for various reasons. One, I was tired of Christmas by December first and I had this "social" life and it was hard to wrap presents and curl ribbon while holding a stupid phone to my ear and listening to the latest drama of the day. Then I started college.

I was gone till a few days before Christmas now. And they still saved the gifts for me to wrap. I don't know if my family knew this, but college was very hard on me. I was ALWAYS stressed out twenty four hours a day, yet I did not know it. When I came home for breaks, I was usually brain dead and wanted to fall over and die. And I come home to a room full of unwrapped presents. Freshman year there was the added....uh, not sure for the word for it, but my boyfriend of the time (who I was growing tired of) was living in the house and was ALWAYS around. It drove me nuts that I had no space, had to wrap these with him sitting there staring at me, jealous that I was paying attention to boxes and ribbon than him. Sophomore year, he was gone, long gone, but I was about ten pounds lighter due to stress and was about to crack. As the years went on, my wrapping got less complicated to the point where I would just stick pre-made bows on them, as I was over annoyed that no one besides my mom could wrap any more.

My dad, bless him, buys things year around and then "hides them." He hides them from himself (my mom is guilty of this as well). So, as the season drags on, he "finds" his gifts. So I will have a wrapping session and he will later find a slew of things. Sometimes, on the day of he will find presents for my grandparents and go into a tizzy about me wrapping them before they arrive for supper.

Last year, I made and wrapped all the presents. My husband watched TV, played on the internet and later helped pack up the ones to be shipped. This year, I wrapped everything and made bows. Last year I don't think I made bows. However, I am currently under no stress and have a ton of time to wrap things. I did not go as nuts as I did during my hay day wrapping, as I do not have the money to do this (nor my dad's money). I reused last years paper of gold and silver and bought ribbon that can be "reused" over and over and over. I made bows how I learned to make them whilst I interned at Rockford Area Convention and Visitors Bureau, the RACVB bow. It was a useful skill in reality. I figure maybe my husbands step mom and my mother will save the bows, but I tried to be eco-friendly. I usually do bags now, but it just didn't seem right to use bags for everything at Christmas time.

03 December 2008

it is that time of year

I have been listening to the same Christmas music since I was about fifteen or so. I know, lame, but it is true. The bulk of my Christmas music comes from 'N Sync and 98 Degrees. I only have 98 Degrees because I drove my parents nuts listening to the 'N Sync CD nonstop for almost three weeks straight or something insane like that. To save themselves, they bought 98 Degrees. I am not sure why they did this, as I was never a big 98 Degrees fan or any sort, but I enjoyed it none the less and added it to the Christmas rotation.

Also, I stole a few CDs from my dad, one being the Barbra Streisand CD. I know, weird right? But it gets weirder. I stole it when I was maybe ten or so. I listened to it, along with the Disney CD and the "fun songs" Christmas CD, which we got simply because it had "I'm Getting Nothin' For Christmas" on it. When I got into 'N Sync and boy bands, I kept Babs, but got rid of Disney. To this day, I do not know where Mickey and Friends are. I added the "fun songs" back into the rotation due to the fact I needed something other than boy bands and...The OC Chrismakka CD, which I got for Christmas whilst in Scotland. It only has 12 songs, so I needed to pad out my selection during my working days. I had a 45 minute drive, and boy bands wore me thin after a week. I had added a few free songs off of iTunes since this time, but not many. I have many copies of "O Holy Night" as I adore that song, along with my all time fav, "First Noel." I am not sure why I enjoy those, other than I enjoy singing along with them.

I married a man who has a birthday a few days before Christmas, so he likes to be a kurmudgen and not do anything Christmas like before his birthday. So to annoy him, I listen to Christmas music year round. Due to this, I realized I need to expand yet again my collection of Christmas music, as it is limited. However, I have no idea where to begin. There is just so much. I do not have any all time fav artist I want to have a Christmas album from, so I am not sure what to do. Also, I live in a dirt hole, so the only place to buy CDs is Wal-Mart. Not that I'm into buying CDs, but I always find it helpful when I am at a loss on what to do, I need to be able to hold things and look at them. Surfing iTunes or Amazon leaves me befuddled and confused. Or buying too much, or buying stuff I later decide I'm not too crazy about. Like Christina's "O Holy Night." While I adore the song, I'm not totally crazy about hers, or that Hanson track I bought. I don't even like Hanson, but they covered "O Holy Night" and "First Noel" I think in one song! What could be wrong with that?!

Well, it was Hanson, and I forgot for a moment, crazed by Christmas music, that I'm not their biggest fan. Oh well. We will see what to do on a later date.

02 December 2008

I've become one of those bloggers...

Oh my god, I suck at posting here. Anyways, my reason for posting: CONRAD WANTS OUT!

OHNOZ! How can this be? I thought he wasn't going to as Bush Boy for a pardon? I thought he was ABOVE THAT?!

Jerk.

Cravin' freedom? One should have thought of that before you GOT CONVICTED and STOLE THAT $$$$ and became a total sketch bag. Dude, was Radler always orange? If so, that should have totally tipped you off on him. Orange people tend to be sketchy...especially when they wear rainbow ties and falling apart shoes and have whispy hair and REALLY ORANGE SKIN. But, no, Mr. Black, you went along in the plan, got your $$ and then you went on trial because the SEC found you out and BAM, you are in jail and now YOU WANT PUSH TO PARDON YOU FOR BEING A SCEEZE BAG?

I bet Bush will do it. Do you know why? Black is part of the corporate world. He is a big player (or at least thinks he is) and he likes Bush I bet. Deep down I bet Conrad LOVE BUSH. And even if he's not on the list now, he might get himself addes at the last moment. Yet, if Bush boy is smart (which he just might be at some point) he wont' do it, as Conrad isn't very American. Or Canadian for that matter. He is British. And last I remember, he was really a man without a country because no one wanted him. Poor Conrad. Fallen from grace.

Oh, and I just like this for its title: Conrad Black is an Idiot.
Anyways, I am done ranting about Conrad Black.