An Almost Pinterst Fail

I've had quite a few Pinterest fails. Mostly how to curl your hair. No matter which method I try, none of them work as advertised. However, I've not had many recipes fails.

I almost had one today.

I had planned to make blueberry muffins, but after I worked out today, I really wanted chocolate. So, after checking out this recipe for Chocolate Fudge Yogurt Cookies. Sounds good, right?

They might be, but I followed her directions and came out with a bowl of...a couple balls of dough, but mostly a bowl of flour mixed with coco. So, I improvised.

This usually ends badly. When I do not follow directions, things never taste right and turn out to be a disaster. It's why I don't like cooking and I stick to baking. I tweak occasionally, but I never just...go off the book.

Well, the book failed me this time. I've no clue what I did wrong, but my cookies were in danger, so, I added an egg white, melted a tablespoon and half of coconut oil, and got the electric beater out.

And almost killed the motor. After I was done, I was smelling something...well, wrong. I sniffed the oven, it smelled oven like. I smelled the dough, it smelled chocolate and minty. Finally, I went back to where I first smelled the odor and discovered the motor in the hand mixer was burning. Or something. I unplugged it and put it away. Hopefully it'll work next time.

ANYWAYS

The dough is REALLY THICK, but that leads to what Pilot Boy calls Cake Cookies.

So, without further ado, here's the recipe for...

Chocolate Cake Cookies
(adapted from Chocolate Fudge Yogurt Cookies.)

1 egg
1 egg white
1 1/2 tablespoons coconut oil, semi melted
1 1/2 cups powder sugar (packed)
2 containers of single serving Chiboni plain Greek yogurt
1 1/2 cups flour
1 cup unsweetened dark coco powder
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp plus 1 tbsp vanilla extract
pinch of salt (or the 2 tsps of sea salt, which I added to the mixture instead of sprinkling on top)
and how ever many chocolate chips you want. (I dumped half a bag of Mint Chocolate Chips and maybe 1/4 of a bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips in when the first half bag didn't look like enough)

1. Preheat oven to 355. (Mostly because I cannot set my oven to 356. I can only do things by fives.)
2. Whisk egg, vanilla, and powder sugar together till smooth in a medium bowl. (It will appear at first as if there is too much dry ingredient in the bowl to actually combine, but don't worry, it will.) 
3. Mix the flour, coco, baking soda and salt together in a large bowl.
4. Add the vanilla sugar egg mixture to the flour coco mixture. Mix together till you give up at ever getting it to actually look combined.
5. Add the containers of yogurt. Attempt the mixing thing again.
6. When you feel like a failure at life, add the egg white and semi melted coconut oil (heat up some water, put a tiny bowl in the bigger bowl of heated water, add the coconut oil and melt. It takes like maybe a minute). 
7. Get out your electric mixer or hand mixer and use it like your life depends on it.
8. Try not to kill your mixer.
9. Once everything is combined and there's no more dry stuff lurking in the bowl, add the chocolate chips and mix again till the chips are lost within the massive amounts of dough.
10. Grab a spoon and drop onto cookie sheets.
11. Put in preheated oven and bake for 10-12 minutes depending on your oven.
12. Cool for three minutes, move to wire wracks.
13. Enjoy.

Diaper Update

Wiggles is now almost 11 months old. She weights 19 pounds and I've no clue how tall she is as I haven't gotten her to be still long enough to measure her. Her legs have finally chunked out a bit, but she is still long and skinny for a baby. Likely because she is NEVER still. Even when she's asleep she's not still.

We still battle for naps, still have issues sleeping through the night. But sometimes it does happen: sleeping through the night.

Only we had a problem: diaper overflow.

My beloved Luvs were no longer containing the outflows. In the past, when this occured, it was time to go to the next size up. While she was in the weight limit for the diapers in the past, her legs were usually a little too skinny for the next size, her her loads were ready so we just strapped her in and hoped for the best. This time, she is no where near the weight limit for the size 4. She is firmly in size three, yet they do not hold enough pee.

Pee is my enemy now, not poop. (Unless she pees and poops at the same time, then it is a disaster.) During the day, I can change her diaper every two hours. However, HUGE COMMA, at night, I am not waking her up to change her diaper. It ends in tears. Trust me. I woke her once at four to change her diaper because she hadn't woken at her usual time for a bottle. I'd hoped I could get the wet diaper off, put a dry on one, and put her back down.

Not so lucky.

So, the next day, I went to investigate diapers, just as I had when she was still in my belly. This time, though, I had more options. Did you know there are like two different versions of diapers for her size in Pampers? And Huggies? But Luvs only had one type of diapers and they simply do not hold enough pee to go all night long without a diaper change. But, they do make diapers that go that long. After spending a little too long staring at diapers, I picked up small packs of Pampers Cruisers and Huggies Snug and Dry. Both claimed they held 12 hours worth of wetness.

Pampers Cruisers were up first. I put it on her before her nap that day--which she actually took! It was two hours long. In the Luvs, I'd have a very heavy diaper after a two hour nap. With the PC diapers, I had a half full diaper of pee. Happy, I changed her diaper and put her in a Huggies one. Instantly, I hated the Huggies on. I don't like them-- plain and simple. They seem flimsy. At least her legs fit into the holes this time. She wore it for four hours while crawling around and no leaks. I've used the Huggies Snug and Dry at bedtime and so far, no leaks and no overly full diapers. Same with the Pampers.

She's slept through the night at least three times since I bought the new diapers and only one time did Pilot Boy put the wrong diaper on her at night. I had a damp baby come morning when she spent the entire night in the Luvs diaper (she usually wakes up when wet, but she's growing or something).

So, after we finish the Luvs, we're switching to Pampers Cruisers and I will forlornly stare at my empty pocket book but no longer have to change her pants every three or four hours.

An Ode to Shoes

I love shoes. I've loved shoes since I was 13 and realized I owned almost fifty pairs of them. I was awed and amazed to discover I had an obsession with shoes. Since that point in time, I've continued to hoard shoes, loving everything about them except one thing: wearing them.

I hate wearing shoes.

I walked around barefoot whenever I could get away with it. I took off my shoes as soon as it is feasible. I was that person who will take her shoes off on the plane and put my feet on the gross carpet. Why? Because due to the fact I hated wearing shoes, I had about ten inches of callouses on my feet. I could hardly feel anything.

Till I got my first pedicure.

It's been all downhill since that point in time because do you know what they do to your feet when you get a pedicure? They scrap your feet and remove the callouses.

I was horrified. Utterly, completely horrified. I wanted to rip my foot out of the tiny woman's grasp, as what the hell was she doing?

I didn't though and I regret it all the time. Why? Because up till that point, shoes, when I did deem to wear them, didn't bother me. I never got blisters. I never had to break shoes in.

Then, my years of work hardening my feet was taken away from me and suddenly my feet always hurt. Shoes gave me blisters on my heels, my big toes, between my toes when I wore flip flops for the first time in a season, and worst of all I had to break shoes in suddenly.

I'd never had to do that before.

Why the hell do people get pedicures? Seriously. I've gotten maybe four total in my life and each time they scrap away my callouses on my feet I think, well, maybe this time will be different.

It's not.

Yeah, my feet look pretty, but my shoes and I have a hard relationship after this point.

I haven't had a pedicure in seven years. I got one before I got married. Mostly because I was like, "What the heck? It's fifty degrees. I can wear flip flops." I mored when the polish finally began chipping and swore I'd get another one in the summer. Maybe keeping up with the whole foot scrapping would help?

Then, I never got another one.

I thought about it. Multiple times, but I've never gone. Even while I was pregnant. Mostly because I had no idea where to go to get it done other than the place by Walmart and I was like, "I don't want to go there by myself. It's alway awkward."

So, yeah. I've got seven years of callouses on my feet, but I still have to break in shoes.

That's where I am going with this: breaking in shoes.

I finally broke down and bought a pair of Tory Burch flats. I've only wanted a pair for seven years. The only reasons I didn't do it before now was because I had a minor heart attack each time I saw the price of a pair. Then, as discussed in a previous post, I discovered designer resale. And I know what you're thinking: used shoes. Ick. But, seriously, I'm not about to pay $400 dollars for a pair of heels I might wear twenty
times in the next seven years.

LK Bennett Sledge

Stuart Weitzman Corkswoon

But, oh, how I lusted after Kate Middleton's shoes. I love the Sledge by LK Bennett and the Corkswoon by Stuart Weitzman. I seriously wanted the Corkswoon, but I cannot pay $400 for a pair of 4 1/2 inch platforms I won't be able to walk in. Towering high heels and I are not friends after my pregnancy. About 3 1/2 inches is what I can get away with without a platform and four with, but that extra half inch is not doable. I cannot walk. And it breaks my heart, BUT, I found the perfect subs for the Corkswoon and they are super comfortable. Last spring, I was tooling around JC Factory's website and found a very similar pair. They were navy, wedges, but used rope rather than cork. However, I was never able to find a look-a-like pair for the Sledge within my low price point and in my size. I'd find the perfect pair, but they'd not have my size.

Tragic. On many levels.

Then one afternoon, I logged onto ThredUp and there they were: the LK Bennet Sledge. In the Right color.

I don't think I even really thought about it, I put it in the cart and checked out before I even realized what I was exactly doing: buying used shoes. I did not even care. All I could think: I was going to own a pair of $400 designer shoes! And I only paid $77 for them!

I was giddy by the time the shoes arrived and threw them on my feet as fast as possible.

They were a little tight in the shoe box, but I didn't care. I owned a pair of LK Bennett shoes! And the ones I'd lusted after for years! Also, as I wore them around the house to get used to them/break them in, I discovered if I put my foot in sides, my toes didn't get squished. (I know, does that make sense? No.) I also discovered, if I wore them with socks, I could wear them longer. The only issue was finding no show socks that were low enough cut not to shoe. (I've yet to find them.)

Anyways, so I had my first pair of high end designer shoes and I could not stop thinking about my next pair. (The same thing happened when I first bought a designer purse, I couldn't stop thinking about my next one.) I trolled the two resale sights I use and never came across what I really wanted: a pair of Tory Burch flats. Oh, sure, both sites have a lot of Tory Burch flats, just none in my size. I spent months waiting and hoping, but never did they show up.

Then one day, Pilot Boy said something that made me think: I could buy a pair of designer shoes at full price. (Then I shuddered.) So, I ventured out onto the retail sites online and began to research. I looked at Stuart Weitzman, read reviews. What I like about his wedges is the heel base is larger than on most wedges, making it easier to walk in. Yet, I still could not bring myself to pay for a pair of shoes I might not be able to walk in, so I turned my sites to Tory Burch.

I can walk in flats. I've always wanted a pair of Reva flats for seven years. I remember when I first saw them on PurseBlog (yeah, weird I know). The writer had just gotten a pair and loved them. That weekend, I was at Dillards (I think) and saw a pair on display. I grabbed it up, flipped it over, and promptly put it back down.

For newly wed and currently unemployed me, they were way too much money.

I didn't pick up another pair till we were in San Antonio and at an outlet mall. I went into the overly crowded Tory Burch outlet thinking maybe I could get a pair of flats. The store was a zoo, so I just waked around quickly looking for shoes. I found a pair, flipped it over, and promptly put it back.

The outlet shoes cost the same as the non-outlet shoes.

And that's the thing about outlet malls I've come to discover: their not any cheaper any longer. Retailers MAKE clothes for their outlet stores. Yeah, they have "sales" on them, but in reality its not any cheaper than going to the actual store if they had a sale.

So, before I had a panic attack in the overly crowded store, I left and decided I'd just buy the flats another day. (I'd just gotten a pair of Ray-Bans, so I figured the flats were out of the question for that trip.)

Fast forward two years and my current obsession with designer shoes.

I've wanted these shoes for seven years. Yes, they've changed over the years, but the Reva flat is still made, still comes in black and gold.

Only, I really hate gold.

And I really do hate labels. (Odd, I know.)

When I first began lusting after the Reva flat, no one knew who Tory Burch was, nor knew her logo. Now, they do. So, yeah. But, it was mostly the gold logo that turned me away from the Reva flats currently available. I was surfing around the Tory Burch site and found the flats for me: Mini Miller.

Mini Miller Flat in yellow

I am not sure what is mini about them, but they are the typical Tory Burch flat, but the logo is done in the same color, and in this case leather, as the shoe itself. After a few days of thinking about it, I bought them.

And like when I bought my first (and third) designer purse, I fretted about the purchase. Like my first designer purse, I cannot brag about not paying full price, as I did. Tragically. Why? Because each and every time Tory Bruch has a sale, the flats are never on sale in my size. NEVER. Everyone must wear an 8.5. Seriously. Anyways, so, the shoes showed up a few days ago. After the dog stopped barking (UPS delivered and he cannot stealthily deliver anything due to the noise his truck makes never mind his instance on ringing the bell), I unpacked the shoes and stared.

I've never had a designer shoe box before. The LK Bennett shoes didn't come in a box, they were simply wrapped in bubble wrap. Now, I know, why does it matter. Most people throw away shoe boxes. I used to, but now I keep my shoe boxes and store shoes in them. You know, so they don't get dusty. I started doing this in Alaska when I had a shelf to keep the boxes on. Now, I have a shelf for shoes to display them, so I keep the ones I wear often on there and the nicer ones all in boxes, sometimes doubled up if they don't have boxes due to being bought at TJ Maxx.

Anyways, so I spent a lot of time staring at the box. I also spent quite a bit of time looking at the wrappings, as that is one thing I just love about ordering designer things from the designer's website: the packaging. I'm pretty sure I only like this due to the fact I ran my own shop for four years and took pride in how I presented the handbag to it's new owner via it's wrappings. So, I spent quite a bit of time enjoying the shiny paper and shoe box before I actually took the rubber band (nice purple elastic thing) off and looked at the shoes.

Yup. Those were the shoes I ordered.

I put them on and stared at my feet. I almost expected something to happen, but nothing did other than Wiggles deciding she also like the trappings of my shoes and made the box explode of packaging.

Not knowing if I ought to keep them or not, I wore them around the house, realizing they were kind of uncomfortable. Now, I didn't expect them to be like my boat shoes, instantly comfortable. They are hard leather and need breaking in. And today, after three days of having these shoes I decided to "break them in" quickly by use of a hair dryer. I found it on Pinterest. So, I was like, eh, worth a shot. Especially after I am not sending them back. Between the fact I do really like them, Wiggles has drooled all over them a few times before decided, No. I do not like Tory Burch as much as LK Bennett (yes, she nawed on my LK Bennett shoes. She loves them.) So, I took my hair dryer, blasted the shoes for a total of 8 seconds each then put them one with a pair of SmartWool socks.

They are a lot more comfortable with the SmartWool socks on, even if I look like an idiot due to the fact I'm wearing designer flats, SmartWool socks in grey and blue, and exercise pants. (I'm dressed for working out this afternoon when Wiggles goes to sleep, not just because I didn't feel like putting proper pants on this morning.)

However, part of me knows that if I'd never gotten a pedicure all those years ago, I wouldn't be breaking shoes in at this moment and instead would be dancing around merrily not having any idea what blisters felt like.

The Somewhat Healthy Triple Chocolate Muffins

So, I'm trying to eat healthier. You know, to loose those last ten baby pounds that are hanging out around my middle. I've been working out at least three times a week, but as usual, my diet is always the hardest thing to alter. Mostly due to my love affair with sugar.

I love sugar.

So much.

I troll Pinterst often for "healthy" baking recipes. Granted, most times I get distracted by all the other sugary goodness out there, but I decided I'd try a "healthy" one today. Granted, I lacked the whole wheat flour and unsweetened almond milk, but whatever. I actually had the coconut oil! And I had the zucchini.

Yeah. That's right. I baked something sweet and chocolate with zucchini.

And they are utterly brilliant. They are not very sweet, likely due to the use of half the sweeter called and the use of dark chocolate, but they are so good. And they hit the spot. And you cannot taste the zucchini at all.

So, here's the recipe, which I adapted from here. Her recipe is healthier than mine, due to her use of white whole wheat flour and unsweetened almond milk. I did cut the honey, but I used regular flour, so I will call mine....

The Somewhat Healthy Triple Chocolate Muffins

1 1/4 cup of your choice of flour
1/3 cup of unsweetened dark coco powder (or whatever you have)
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 tablespoon vanilla (I love vanilla, but you can use 1 teaspoon if you don't love it like me)
2 tablespoons of coconut oil
1/3 cup of honey (just fill the 1/3 cup in half)
1 egg
1 egg white
1 cup of shredded zucchini
1/4 cup of unsweetened applesauce
1/2 cup of dark chocolate almond milk
1/2 cup chocolate chips
1/4 cup of white chocolate chips, plus a few to sprinkle on the top before baking

1. Preheat oven to 350.
2. Line muffin tin with liners and spray. (Seriously, no matter what kind of liners you're using, spray them with nonstick cooking spray. These babies like to stick, so spray away.)
(Random: I tested out silicone muffin liners and they are AWESOME. The muffins popped right out and I can reuse them again and again.)
3. Shred the zucchini into the smallest bits you can manage.
4. Put the pile of zucchini in two paper towels, find a sink, and squeeze. Make sure all the extra water gets out. If you soak through the first set of paper towels, get another set and squeeze till no water comes dripping out. Set aside.
5. In a medium bowl, combine the flour, coco, baking soda, salt and whisk together. Set aside.
6. In a large bowl (hopefully one with tall sides) combine the coconut oil, egg white and egg, and vanilla. Mix on medium till you cannot see any bits of coconut oil. The mixture should be smooth.
7. Add the zucchini, unsweetened applesauce, and almond milk. Mix till combined on the low setting.
8. Slowly add the dry ingredients, mixing till combined.
9. Fold in the chocolate chips.
10. Spoon into the muffing liners. The original recipe said you'd get 12, but I got 18 filling each about half full.
11. Bake for 22 -25 minutes. I put mine in for 23 minutes and 30 seconds. But, every oven is different.
12. Let cool for awhile. (I didn't time this part.) Once cool, remove from muffin liners and enjoy.