Writing

For years I have sat on...The Novel. Years. I wrote the first story when I was 15. I have rewritten it at least twice and made changes constantly for the past 12 years.

And no one has read it in its edited form.

Since I actually "finished" it, no one has read it. I think a total of maybe four people read the first draft version I wrote when I was 15. Yeah. Four people and they were about as helpful as moss. They all liked it and had very little suggestions.  I have tried numerous times over the book's life to have other people read it and give me feed back. C got as far as when G and L hook up. And I didn't hear much after that. I even set up a livejournal account where I'd  publish each chapter after I'd finish my edits for feedback from my friends (who seemed to have massive amounts of time to read my livejournal at the time.) No one commented on it. I never got any feedback on the actual written work. No one had the time to read it.

I have worked through ideas with my friends. I have gotten new ideas for the book while talking about the book. I have feedback on character development in verbal exchanges.

It got to the point I didn't bother to ask anyone. I gave up on being a writer because I could not get anyone to read anything I wrote. I do not want to publish it on the web in a public manner either for fear of it'd get stolen. (It happens.) In high school I did creative writing classes and did not find it helpful in the least. I wrote what I thought was complete crap a few times and everyone LIKED IT. I was like WTF? I didn't take any writing classes in college because everyone wanted to be a writer in college. So, I gave up. I remember the day clearly when I gave up. I was working at the bank and had asked another friend to read the last installment (or one of the installment). His response was it was fine, but I should stop writing about high school.

I was standing in the bank at work, pretending to be a teller. I had just finished writing the sixth book in the series when he told me I should write about other things other than high school. I'll be honest. It crushed me, as the whole thing (referred to as The Novel) was my life's work at that point in time. It was my pride and joy. I loved the characters. I loved working with them. After I finished the first four books, I added another four because I MISSED THEM. (The second four books are not up to any parr and are still being sifted through and worked out, but the first four are pretty much done.)

So, that day at the bank, I just gave up. I gave up the delusion I'd ever be published and that The Novel would ever be an actual book.

I did not stop writing by no means. I kept writing The Novel because I loved the characters. I kept reading and reworking because I loved the characters and I thought it was fun, but I never asked anyone to read anything, never entertained the idea of doing anything with it other than allowing it to take up space on various hard drives.

I have two friends who have read the "reworked" version. (Kinda. No one has read the version I am trying to get into shape right now.) All I know is that they liked it. I've asked for other feedback as I email the novels off, but I only hear "is there more?"

Hence why, after a whole year and half of ignoring The Novel, I got it out. I hadn't finished the second four books and had only a vague plan. I know where the characters are going and where they end up. I just have to get them there. So I set to work.

Then, I got the idea that maybe The Novel could work as a published work. I just needed some other eyes to look at it and give suggestions and edit. So, I spent three months re-reading and reworking the first book. I changed some things, tried to tighten up the plot line...and then it was done. So I asked my family for help.

I'm sure my brother hasn't open the file. It seemed just as I emailed it, drama broke out, so there is no time.
I know my father has opened it and spent at least and hour on it. That was all he said.
No one has shown my mother how to operate comments in Word. This either means she hasn't read it, or she's reading it and not giving me any feedback.


And thus, the curse of no one having the time of day for the novel occurs again. I understand people are busy. I understand things take prescient over my book. It just frustrates me to no end. Because if someone gave me something to read, I'd read it. I'd make the time. I'd find the time. I always did. It might not have been the most timely thing in the world, but I'd sit down and do it. And it'd try my best.


And I know there will come a time when some stranger will have to read it. And they will not like it. And they will have no problem telling me this much. It would be nice, though, before this happened, someone I knew and trusted read it and told me what they really thought in the actual manuscript. I was secretly thrilled when I did a paper in college where we emailed the Word doc to the professor and he used the Tracking feature to leave comments and edit it. It was brilliant and I was like, "OMG! This is AWESOME." Since college, I have grown to kind of get a sick joy out of people editing and commenting on things I write. I call it a sick joy, because it used to upset me greatly when people would change things I had written. I had many a fight with my mother when she'd be editing stories I had written in high school (hence why I never handed over The Novel to her before).


But, I'm kinda ready for it. I realized when I had emailed the Student/Professor story to my mother and she, well, she hated it. And I knew she was right. It needs a major re-haul and I think I don't write adult characters very well. When I wrote the story the easiest and most fun thing to write was when the character was in college. So, I have ideas and feedback on that (well part, I let her stop reading as it seemed to be causing her great pain and I was embarrassed).


But, the thing that came out of it was I knew I needed work and where I needed and it was HELPFUL.


I just feel kind of BLARG at the moment. I feel a bit better now that I've written it down. Now I will shower and get ready to face the snowy day. And tackle the closet.

I Should Write a Post

So here I write one.

I hate spring.

Especially here because it's just ugly. The snow melts to reveal garbage people were too lazy to actually THROW OUT IN A GARBAGE CAN. The littering here is horrible. Seriously, what the hell people? Why don't you just go home and throw out your trash? Why does the city have to have a program to clean this place up for the tourists? It is lame. Just take your trash home and throw it out. (We do not recycle here. Well, we do, but only plastic milk jugs and certain paper products. Don't get me started.)

So, I hate spring here because it just makes me mad.

Mentally mad and then I start sneezing.

So then I get nose mad.

I did finally order a pair of sneakers. I don't own any sneakers that are...well, nice. I mowed the lawn in my pretend converses last year and my other pretend converses are currently covered in saw dust and other things from sitting in the garage all winter/summer. I have a pair of Ralph Lauren shoes my dad got me when I was in 8th grade from Macy's in New York City. I ruined them because I was stupid and 13. I still have them because I refuse to get ride of them because they are Ralph Lauren and my dad got them for me. I also still have the flannel Tommy Hilfiger shirt he got for me. I doubt I can get it buttoned, as I remember it being kind of smallish when I was 13. I'm like 10 times bigger in some areas. Okay, a lot of areas.

Operation Get Butt in Gear is still on. I just find it boring telling y'all about it. But here is where I am at: I still don't fit into all my jeans. I still weigh the same I did when I began this. Thus, I haven't magically lost 10 pounds. However, I feel better when Pilot Boy drags me on hikes. The "hills" do not KILL ME DEAD like they did last spring. I still HATE THEM, but they don't kill me dead.

Just for your information: start doing cardio training if you wanna see any water falls *cough, cough...Dad* So far all waterfalls have HILLS. So, start doing some cardio if you wanna see any water falls and NOT DIE.

So ends the post.

Spring Trends

Most of my life I only paid half attention to trends. Mostly because I have always known what I liked and did not liked and most trends actually annoyed me.

Things I like:

Vests (any kind)
Wide legged pants
Wedges
Sweaters with white collared shirts
Plaid
Argyle
Brown eye makeup
Nude lips
Bright colors on nails
Silver jewlery
Pearls
Hoop earings
Sunglasses

Things I do not like:
high rise pants
skinny, super low rise jeans
Stilettos (gasp)
super low rise pants
short shirts (belly bearing tops)
straight leg pants
Black eye makeup
Heavy eye makeup
Super bright blush
Nude nail polish
Gold jewerly
Bright lipsticks

I don't know what it is about this spring, but I've been paying a little attention to trends. Several trends this spring I kinda dig. These trends are:

Orange lips
Wide leg pants (Bell bottom type jeans!)
Wedges
Coral

Where did I get this information? Piperlime and Sephora. 

I have bought orange lip gloss (D20) and orange lipstick (Siren). I was kind of shocked how well orange worked on me as I have always steered clear of bold lip choices. I have never been able to pull off any sort of bold lipstick, so I just don't like it for the most part.

When I noticed the Gap was carrying these pants, I almost had a heart attack. For months I've been looking for a wide leg flare to replace my beloved Levi's. However, these pants and I have a few issues. One: The regulars are two inches too long to wear with heels. Two: The petites are too short to wear with shoes. Three: they shrink length wise in the washer, but not enough to make a difference in the regulars, but do make a huge difference in the petites.  Four: They cannot hold their shape up top. They only make it through two days of wear before they begin to no longer hug one in the right places. Five: They are a higher rise, and it doesn't stay up very well after they start loosing their grip. The rise also doesn't allow for belt wearing very easily and when you wear a longer top, you can always see the top of the pants.

And yes, I do own two pairs of these pants. One in regulars one in petites. I first ordered the petites, as the regulars were swimming on me. I was in love with the pants when I first got them. I wore them for three days before I figured I needed to wash them.

It was down hill from there.

I cold water washed, then let them air dry. They were super slouchy in the butt after this. So, I decided to dry them on low in teh dryer. Still slouchy in the butt. So, next time I washed them without any fabric softener and dried them as I would normally. This was when I realized they had shrunk a lot. They were a little long when I first got them, as in they were perfect to wear with my winter boots. Once I had washed them three times, they were way too short and looked dumb. Thus, I can only wear these pants in the warmer months here with flip flops and flats. Very flat flats. So, I ordered a pair of regulars. Because I REALLY WANTED THESE PANTS TO WORK.

I hemmed the regulars so they are fine in the leg now. However, they still go all slouchy in the butt after two or three wears. THIS IS NOT GOOD. I think its the mixture of spandex and cotton on the jeans. I don't know why The Gap feels like they need 2% spandex in the pants. 1% is pushing it I think. My VS jeans have 1% spandex and that is fine. They are still thick and jean like. I have up trying to find jeans without spandex awhile ago, but it still annoys me.

But, I am so happy to see wide legged pants back! I wasn't really feeling the whole skinny jean thing. Granted I do own a few pairs of them, mostly to wear with my knee high boots. I do like that look, but I think my legs look funky in skinny jeans with flats or just heels.

I have always loved wedges. I have not bought any wedges this season though. I have a pair of wedge heels (the most comfortable heels I own. They are amazing and I got them from Sears). I also have two pairs of wedge sandals that I got in Del Rio by Aerosoles. They are super comfortable too.

I love the color coral. I was over the moon when I saw it being carried this season. I also happen to look pretty good in coral. I even bought coral lipstick.

Skating to the Dentist

I spent some three hours on Sunday on the phone with my dad. Some of it was about why he had called, some of it was about how to restyle all my shop photos and how to make them more attractive to buyers. By the end of this conversation, I decided I needed a tri-pod. Target FAILED ME, so I was like, "I'll got to REI. I know what I want is there."

So, Monday morning, I hopped in the Monstority, started him up, and backed out of the driveway. However, as I skatted on the ice, I realized there was a light still on in the dash. It looked roughly like this: (!) with a little swiggle line under it. I was like, "Huh?"

I drove around the block and pulled back into the driveway. I pulled out the manual and looked it up. I mistook it for something wrong with the breaks, as it looked a lot like the ((!)) which means breaks. There are three different symbols for the breaks. Since Pilot Boy told me to get the oil changed, I was like, "FINE! We'll go see the dealer!"

I called, made an appointment for the next day.

After I did this, I remembered I had to go pick up more plastic trays at the dentist. Now, since I still thought my breaks were shot, I decided to walk the few blocks to the dentist. I always feel like a slouth driving there, but half the time its 1) a hazard to my health to walk due to the conditions of our subdivion in the winter or 2) raining or 3) I have other errands to run after I go to the dentist. (I got to the dentist a lot here...it's like the eye doctor in the Dirt Hole, only I kinda like going to the dentist. THEY KNOW ME! The Eye Doctor in the Dirt Hole never seemed to remember me till he looked at my chart.)

So, I put on my fancy The North Face boots with little "ice picks" and took a very deep breath. I exited the house and stared at the ice rink that is my street.

It has been brilliantly sunny for weeks upon weeks and the sun here is intense. It might claim to be 20 out, but in the sun it'll be 40. So things MELT like WHOA. Kind of. A few weeks back, they "plowed" the street down to the layer of ice that fell during the ice storm that hit in....November? But, yeah, so they took away all trackton on the street and turned the street into an ice rink. One must be very talented to walk on the street. I could have used ice skates to travel from my house to the main road.

I stupidly thought once I skatted through the subdivison I'd be good to go on some cement or something, but NO. I guess when they "plow" the sidewalks along the main road, they just make more ice rinks, as the sidewalks were worst than my street. I carefully walked along, praying I would not fall down and break something.

I passed a guy RUNNING on the ice sidewalk. I was like, "HUH?"

He said good morning, so I said it as well, as I was simply impressed he was RUNNING on the ICE in TENNIS SHOES.

Later I told the lady who gave me my new plastic trays and she rolled her eyes and said, "Yeah, there are some really crazy people here. My friend goes running every morning. Outside. On snow and ice."

I walked home and passed no more runners. And I managed not to fall.

Later, I took the Monstoirty to the Dealer.

There was a huge ass carpentry nail in the tire. It was HUGE. Almost as big as the screw I ran over in the Kar.

Also, the nice guy who took care of me at the dealer actually told me I DID NOT NEED MY OIL CHANGED. I was like WTF? WHO ARE YOU AND WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN MY WHOLE LIFE?

Oil changes and I do not get along, as every time I go, no matter where I am, the guys who take care of me try to rip me off. Because I'm a girl they think I'm a moron. With the Kar, they used to tell me my oil was dirty. The first time it worked, because I honestly did not know. The second time, I knew better and they were seriously pissed off at me and would not leave me alone about my "dirty" oil. After that, when I had to get the oil changed, I made Pilot Boy drive the car in and act like it was his car. They never told him he had "dirty oil." I hated them, so I refused to get the oil changed. With my Poor Volvo, we only changed the oil twice. And the second time, it was changed when I took the car in because the TAKE CAR FOR SERVICE message had come on and it was annoying the shit out of me.

Granted, the time I took the Monstoriy in, they did not try to sell me anything extra, but this time the guy looked at me like I was insane when I told me about getting an oil change.

"YOu've got snyntheic oil right?
"Yes."
"You've only got 11,002 on this," he said.
"I know."
"Why do you want the oil changed?"
"My husband seemed to think we needed it. Its past it's three month mark."
"You've got syntheic oil. You won't get your moneys worth out of it if you change it now. You've got...at least 4,000 more miles to go."
"I figured," I replied.
"Tell your husband," he said.
I rolled my eyes. "He knows. I don't know why he wanted it changed."

I am serious. I know how the fake oil works. Pilot Boy has told me. Multiple times. He's also told me how traditional oil works, especially after they place ripped me off with the whole "dirty" oil thing the first time I took it to get changed.

Oil is always dirty, people. If its not brown, it's not doing its job.

First Time for Everything

Every so often, the First Alert System gets tested. They tell you it is just a test. They then tell you that this alert system will alert you to things of danger.

It went off last night.

Scared the living shit out of me.

I had just gone to bed, turned on the classical music channel and was minding my own business when the horrible sound emitted from the radio and scared me to death.

I know I've lived here for over a year, but I don't know where anything is save Anchorage, Palmer, Homer, Eagle River, Wasilla, and Fairbanks. Oh, and I kind of know where Barrow is, but other than that, I've got no clue. So, as the guy was reading off the tsuami warmings for the state, I was like OMG. WFT? Then he said the wave would his Seward at....

And he got CUT OFF. WFT?

I have no clue where Seward is. I just know it's a highway.

So I took to Twitter. Why did I take to Twitter? Because the Internet and I do not get along. I scrolled through Twitter for a moment then tried to find something on the Internet.

It failed. I could not find out WHERE in Alaska the thing was going to hit. All I knew was that from downtown you can see water. And it connects to the ocean at some point. After a half hour of searching, I finally got smart and searched ALASKA on Twitter and thank god for the people of Twitter. It took me only maybe 5 minutes of scrolling to get the actual alert the guy had been reading. I then used Google Maps and found all the places. I then searched ANCHORAGE on Twitter and found people stating that Anchorage was safe due to how far inland we are and how high above sea level we are. Or something along those lines. By this point, it was one am in the morning. And I was wide awake.

I shut my iPhone off and contemplated getting up and taking to the actual internet on the computer, but just stayed in bed. I got up at seven and watched the "Today Show" which I could not figure out if they were live or an hour behind. They kept saying the wave was going to hit CA on Alaska time, not an hour ahead like it should have been. I think they were live...an hour before the station was playing it. I couldn't tell. I then sat through all of Obama's press conference. Then I realized I should go buy fruit, so I did that.

I did not exercise today, as I am kind of zombie like, seeing I got like maybe three or four hours of actual sleep.

Crumble

How do make a kick ass crumble:

Ingredients:

Find some fruit to fill a small glass baking pan. Does not truly matter what fruit you use. Apples, pears, blueberries, strawberries...anything works except maybe oranges. Or a grapefruit. I tend to use apples and rhubarb when it randomly appears in my backyard. Not together, apples and rhubarb, but separately.  Today, I'm going to use Apples and Blueberries.
1/2 stick of butter (doesn't matter what sort of butter. I use the fake stuff because it's cheap and "better" for you. Might need more butter if the topping is too dry.)
Spices (just dump these on to your liking and use whatever you think goes with your fruit.)
1/2 box of yellow cake mix.
Oatmeal (will just sprinkle to your liking)


1. Okay, so find some fruit.
(I found Apples and Blueberries.)

2. Preheat the oven to 350. Find glass baking dish.

3. Locate a knife and cutting board. Cut up fruit if needed.
(I cut up the apple. I did not cut the blueberries.)

4. Toss everything into a glass dish (size 9X9 or something along that).

5. Sprinkle said fruit in dish with some sort of spices (could use cinnamon, ginger, cloves, cardamon, all spice, etc.)
(I put ginger and cardamon all over my fruit.)

6. Find the oatmeal and sprinkle over the top of the fruit.

7. Cut a stick of butter in half. Get a microwave safe mixing bowl and put the butter in it. Put it bowl and butter into the microwave. (Soften the butter. Don't MELT IT. 10 or 15 seconds works.)

8. Dump half the box of cake mix onto softened butter.

9. Dump some more spices into the cake mix. If you want, add some vanilla.

10. Find a fork (Forks are the best) and mix together the cake mix and butter. If you MELT butter, this step becomes kind of...off. Too much melted butter will result in a cake mix like substance, not the crumbly mixture you want. Doesn't matter, as it all tastes the same. But I find its easier to work with the crumbly stuff. If it's too dry, add more melted butter. JUST A LITTLE. Not too much, or you'll end up with cake mix.

11. After it's mixed together, lick the fork. Put fork in dishwasher or wherever you store dirty dishes.

12. Using your hands, pick up clumps of cake mixture and crumble over the oats and fruit.

13. After the topping is on, add some more oatmeal.

14.  Stick it into the preheated oven. Bake until the fruit is bubbling and the topping looks baked. Usually this takes roughly about 30 to 35 minutes, depending on how lame ones oven is.

And WHALA. You have a yummy desert. Or fruit product to eat.

And this is why Martha Stewart and I do not get along. When I make this it always turns out prefect because I just DUMP and there is little measuring. The only thing I "measure" is the butter. But only because I cut it in half where it tells me the half point is located. I eye ball everything else.

Update on GET YOUR BUTT IN GEAR:


Day Eight: Took day off.

Day Nine: Hiked. For how long, I do not know. For how far, I do not know. But we hiked through the Chugack Mountains around the Hillside Trail System or something. It was sunny and hot. Yeah, you read that right: SUNNY AND HOT. It was like 28 degrees down in Anchorage, but up on the sunny mountain it was almost 40 degrees. Except in the shade. But when we got back in our car it was 39 degrees. And we were both only wearing fleeces. And Basil was HOT. Black puppy in the boiling sun. But she was a happy hot puppy. She LOVES snow and walking and running, so she was thrilled. Plus, she's getting a lot better about meeting other dogs on the trails. She no longer gets so excited she freaks the other dogs out. She always says HI, but doesn't say HI MY NAME IS BASIL LOVE ME PLAY WITH ME LOVE ME PLAY WITH ME LOVE ME HI MY NAME IS BASIL! I AM A PUPPY!

Like the other dogs couldn't tell.

Day Ten: Did 20 minutes of walking.

Day 11: Will do another 20 minutes of walking.

And so ends the update.

I gotta whole lotta things

Operation Jeans Update:

Day Six: Was loopy.

Day Seven: Did two miles. Well, kinda. About half way through my feet began to sear with pain, I had to stop and fiddle with my shoes. Now, my thighs hurt. I might have over did the knee lifts...

Day Six of Operation Jeans was a total bust because I took Excedrin and Zyrtec, which for some unknown reason leaves me feeling loopy and kinda outta of my mind. I can't seem to do anything that requires any thought and if I do, it ends up going wrong. So, usually, on days I have to take the two drugs together, nothing gets done.

Nothing also seems to get done when Pilot Boy is home. The kitchen exploded again. He's yet to explode all over the bedroom, but that is only due to the fact he still has not unpacked his bag.

This weekend I plan to clean out closets. We've only been in this house for a year and two things have happened: We've filled the closets and we still haven't unpacked everything. Which is partly why the closets are full. We need some spring cleaning STAT.

I went to the Gap today and tried on the jeans I've been lusting after online. They were...disappointing. They did not fit how I imagined or wished and they were kind of sagging in the rear area. NOT A GOOD THING PEOPLE. I think I might just order the jeans I have in regulars and hem them so I can wear heels. I really wanted an easy fit, kinda wide flare jean. In a lighter color than the ones I have (which also go saggy in the butt, but if you do not use fabric softener and put them in the dryer and put it on high, then they hold their shape a bit longer). Alas, I think my dream jeans are not in production. I also need to go through the jeans I have and get rid of the ones I can a) not longer get over my knee and b) no longer button.

Well, that's it. Good bye.