Up hill means up hill

My husband has this crazy idea that we should hike while we live here. His idea of a hike and my idea of a hike are two very different things. What is his idea: a walk up a mountain, the higher the better. What is my idea? The flatter the better.

If I am honest, I hate hiking. I'd rather just for for a walk.

Today, he wanted to get up early and go hiking and see the sun rise (he is insane.) Least to say when I got up at nine am (OMG I MISSED THE KICK OFF!), he thought I was getting up at two am. Least to say, we missed sun rise. However, an hour after we got up, we were out the door to go to this place to walk to a lake. He told me the following it: it was only a 700 foot rise and it was only five miles and it was an out and back.

We loaded Basil Bea in the car and I took my iPhone so I could keep track of Da Bears (who were playing, but we did not get the game, so I had to keep track of it via twitter). We drove down to the highway by the water and took a nice scenic drive.

I then, while we were in the car, glanced at the trail book we had and saw that the travel was marked at rocky and it claimed it took 7-8 hours to complete. So I yelled at him and he assured me we'd only do part of it.

So, we get to this train and it is right by this lovely waterfall and I think, "Oh this will be nice."

It was not nice. It was rock climbing. Except without the rocks. The trail was almost none existant in some areas and straight up in others. I was pretty sure by the first ten minutes we'd done the 700 feet Pilot Boy had claimed the trail rose. And it kept going.

What did not help the matters was that Basil Bea Dog seemed to be on drugs. I am serious. She was on crack or the dog version of cat nip. She was CRAZY. She was turbo puppy. She dragged me up. She then tried to kill Pilot Boy on the way down several times. Till we finally set her free and she went running wild all over the place sniffing everything and then running back and forth and it was like she really was on drugs. She was a drugged puppy and what really made it odd was the fact when we got home, we discovered she had not eaten her breakfast.

We ended up turning around after we climbed up this one part and the trail almost vanished and I almost killed myself. I did not realize the climb down was going to kill me more, though.

All in all I learned that I cannot trust my husband when picking out hiking trails. He doesn't read the book in the least. He didn't read it till we were enjoying Starbucks in a safe parking lot. He was like, "Did you read this?"

"No. I just glanced at it."

"It says the trail goes up to 1,000 feet or so and pretty much discribes it how it was," he said. "I didn't read it either."

"HOW DID YOU NOT READ IT?"

He just shrugged at me. I swear, sometimes he really does want me to just drop dead on one of these crazy hikes he keeps taking me on.