Best Dressed Hermit

For about an hour today I felt rather worthless and jealous. Why?

I don't hang out with people. I don't really have anyone to hang out with, if I am honest. I know people here in Alaska. I know a few, but the key word is KNOW. These people are not ones I feel comfortable texting/calling/emailing/contacting in any way. If they contact me that is find and dandy. I might go somewhere with them.

Or not. Depends on my mood and if my hair is done.

For an hour today, I felt like there was something wrong me me.

Then I took a shower.

I'm a hermit and have always been a borderline loner. (I say borderline because I get lonely sometimes and feel the need for human contact.)

I'm a really well dressed hermit too. I am serious. I get dressed almost daily and I get "overdress." I have outfits I put together and I wear them. I put makeup on and sometimes I do not leave the house. This always confounded my mother, my getting dressed up to go nowhere (the makeup thing started since I began paying big bucks for makeup, figure I should use it.) I feel better when I am in an outfit, dressed up. There are a few times where I just wore bum clothes and had to be social in them. And it did not go well. One time that jumps to my mind is when my husband had his "solo" flight. He took the keys to both cars, so I figured I wasn't going. I took a shower, tossed on some junk clothing and let my hair air dry. Then, D called and PICKED ME UP and I had to stand around in my junk clothing with my crazy hair and no makeup. Least to say, I was totally embarrassed by the photo of me as I look squat and fat. I work hard to conceal the fact I am short legged and fat. That is why people do not think I am 1) short or 2) fat. (My husband thinks I am sort, but that's because he's almost a foot faller than me, or so it seems when he puts things on the top shelf and I can't reach it.)

So, I get dressed daily. I do my hair. I put on makeup. And sometimes I don't leave the house. Because I don't like to leave the house. And if I do leave the house, 95.5% chance it is by myself. I shop by myself. I entertain myself. I cook for myself. (I lie. I can't cook.) Tragically, though, I have this crazy idea I need to be wild and crazy and popular. As a child I always wanted to be the popular girl, but I would never be popular due to the fact I was quiet and awkward. I learned in college I was awkward because I had no self esteem. As I learned more about myself, I realized I could be fine on my own and I actually kinda liked being on my own.

Well, kinda.

I like having my dog to talk to. As a kid I talked to my clothes. (I pretended they were people, so in my own head I had a lot of friends. Oh, and I had screwdrivers as friends too. Yeah, I didn't play with dolls, I played with screwdrivers.) I was on my own as a child often, as I remember a lot of the neighborhood kids parents worked, so they weren't around during the day. So I played myself and I could do this for hours. I entertained myself with my own imagination till high school when I had a demanding friend. I never had to entertain myself after that and after she was gone I realized I had no idea what to do with myself. I had to re-learn how to entertain myself. Luckily, I still know how to entertain myself since I decided to become a professional hermit.

What do I do on a daily basis?

I get up, let the dog out, feed the dog, feed me, watch TV, sew/craft/write, feed myself, feed the dog, be creative, play video games, text, text, text, talk on the phone, feed the dog, feed myself, write/post purses/blog/surf internet, shop, eat, chase the dog and then go to sleep.

I find putting on makeup entertaining and creative by the way.

I'm a well dressed loner hermit who wants to be popular but has no desire to try.

Interesting huh?