Why You Should Not Buy a 2010 or new 4Runner if you plan to drive in Weather.

I drove up to Eagle River the other day. It wasn't snowing, raining, or anything, but the highway was wet, so there was junk flying at the windshield and I had to use the wipers to see.

During my 20 minute trip, I remembered another reason to hate my 4Runner. Never mind that it is huge, bulky and drop dead ugly, you cannot for the life of you DRIVE THE THING IN THE WINTER. Why? Because, you cannot see out any pertinate windows except the front and passenger side. The back windshiled wipers only clears a TINY portion of the window and not even where YOU NEED TO LOOK. The dumb ass spoiler on the back also adds insult to injury because it just adds to amount of junk that gathers on the window. Currently, I cannot see anything worth while out the window and if the cars refuse to use their lights, there is no hope of me seeing them at any given point. And not just because the back window is so caked with grime, no, that isn't just the issues any more.

When we traveled up here, we learned that when traveling at speeds of 50 or higher while using the wipers, kicks back grime onto the driver side window. Since the back window has been uselsess since any rain/snow/sleet/dirt/wind has been going on, I've taken to using the mirror to see what's behind me and make sure I'm not going to run anyone over in the Monstrosity. Well, during my 20 minute highway drive, this became almost impossible to do because the window was caked in grime from the front windshield. This occurred on our drive up here and I had forgotten. This isn't an issue when it rains. Just snow and ice and grime. In the lower 48, where they salt the living daylights out of things, this is a BIG PROBLEM, as the salt just sticks and is hard to get off the window. So, basically, when we drove up here, daily cleaning of the window took place because we couldn't even SEE the back window due to our belongings. Once we got here, and cleared the car out, we were like, Dear God. There is like five inches of grime on the back window. More than the rest of the car.

So, Mr. Toyota Car Maker, you SUCK. And I HATE YOU. HOW THE HELL DID YOU MANAGE TO MAKE A CAR "BETTER" AND NOT TEST DRIVE IT IN WINTER CONDITIONS? YOUR REDESIGN OF THE 4RUNNER SUCKS AND YOU SHOULD ALL...WELL, BE FORCED TO DRIVE THE 4RUNNER IN ALASKA ALL WINTER AND NOT ALLOWED TO WASH IT. I GARANTEE YOU WILL CRASH AND DIE.

In other news, till I get a window washer thingy, I will have to risk my life in the Subaru, which has no winter tires (we thinks studded tires are lame and do not understand why the people of Alaska are holding on so hard to studded tires, they just ruin the roads. They make winter tires. The 4Runner has those. They work brilliantly).

That is all.

::steps off soap box ::

Total Winter Wonderland

It snowed on my birthday. I don't think its ever snowed on my birth date before in the location I have been located to celebrate it. But it snowed, like a real good snow fall.

And I shoveled it.

And then it snowed again.

And again.

Today, while waiting for the sun to show itself in the cloudy sky, i realized my back yard tree (the one I hate almost with as much flaming passion as the tree in the front), looks like it needs to be on the front of a Christmas card. The trees in other people's back yards look similar. The tree looked like this when we first moved in (granted it was burried in at least two feet of snow), but I loved the tree then. It was not till I began mowing the lawn in the spring did I grow to hate the tree.

How can I hate a tree? Easy, it attacks me. I am serious. I always looked horrible after mowing the lawn due to my battle with the trees. The tree in the front always bashed me in the head with its branches as I tried to mow under it. The tree in the back yard pulled my hair, threw bugs on me, threw leaves and other things on me and scratched me numerous times. Thus, I hate the tree. Both of them actually. Then, after beating me up all summer, they lost their leaves. SLOWLY. But they had so many leaves. I was not sure where the tree in the front got so many fracking leaves. Two WEEKS. TWO FREAKING WEEKS of raking and FOUR TRASH BAGS EACH WEEK. SERIOUSLY.

WE never raked the back yard. By the time we did the first week of raking, we gave up on the back yard. Pilot Boy mowed it, but then the next week, we just stared at the pile and told Basil Bea to go have fun.

Basil refuses to use the yard for fun unless it is covered in snow. She is my snow puppy and I love her. She ran at least a mile in the yard yesterday while I was out trying to clear the deck. Round and round Basil Bea flew, snow flying everywhere. She loves snow. What this poor snow loving dog was doing in Texas is beyond me. She hated Texas. She loves snow and cold.

Businessy Post

I've been working to re-write the copy on some of my gift bags and card sets. I'm not getting many hits on the site. I keep telling myself I am going to "advertise" and "market" myself, but then I do nothing because, well, I have no clue where to start. It is one of those drive things again.

Last holiday season, I had a "rush" of sorts. I actually was steadily selling a purse a week from late November till December. I think I sold one more purse before I closed up shop to move to Alaska. I felt "busy" during this time and I spent a lot of time driving my little Volvo to the post office. I never had to really stand in line when mailing off purses, because the boxes fit into the drop box.


This years I got my holiday items up early. I thought maybe I would have done more sales if I had gotten going on my holiday bags before November. I actually made holiday bags as an afterthought in all honesty. I was walking through Hancock Fabrics and they had a 50% sale on their holiday prints. I was like, "OMG! Christmas BAGS!"

And that was when I began making the bags. I think I bought most of the material a few weeks before Thanksgiving. I do remember I was working on them before the actual "holiday" season began, so my mother didn't want to hear Christmas music while I was working on my holiday stuff.

This year, I have a stock pile of stuff. I have the bags I had left over from last year and the paper items I made in...late September - early October. I will tell you this: Christmas stuff is hard to come by in September. Or early October. Most of the paper stuff was geared at Halloween and the fall. I remember when I wanted that sort of thing (when I made my wedding scrapbook) I was hard pressed to find ANYTHING like that. I was in the dirt hole and only had Wally Martinos to shop at, but still. Last fall I desprately wanted to re-do the scarpbook with the fall theme colors I wanted.

I never redid it. Because I realized how much it'd cost me. Paper is expensive.

Which bring me to another issue I have had with my card sets: price.

The stickers I use on them are EXPENSIVE. Like four bucks a set for most of them. The paper I used all came in a set or cost 75 cents a sheet. I wanted to faint when I bought the supplies. Last year when I made the gift bags for my family, everything I got was on sale. Also, things are cheaper in the lower 48. So, I priced them a little higher than I wanted.

I didn't sell a thing. They even had low hits. I mean, the cards and bags never did get many hits (except the Love Bird Bag, which I didn't want to post because I felt it was kinda lame). I have actually only sold one gift bag. I don't know if the person got it because they were an international customer and they never left feedback. But the convo response I got after I sent out the notice I had mailed it, it sounded like the person was excited. But the cards and gift bags kind of seem to be a small bust.

Which I expected. If I needed that sort of thing, I'd just make it myself. I just like making those sort of things a lot. And, well, I had planned to make my own holiday cards, but one of Pilot Boy's relaitves got us cards to send out this year. Kinda of like last year when my mom appeared with Christmas cards last year. But god, those were cute. They had a picture of Basil Bea with a big red nose and hat. Well, the dog looked a lot like Basil Bea. Basil Bea wrote the holiday letter too. I think I'll do something like that again this year for our holiday cards. I guess I should be working on that too...

Well, that is all.

I brace myself, I know it will hurt...

I turned 27 yesterday. Serious.

I kind of dreaded turning 27, as it seemed like such a large and old number to turn. I then began thinking what my 17 year old self would think of me....I'm pretty sure she'd be rather unimpressed by me for various reasons.

1. When I was 17, I was still under the delusion I was going to "be some one important."
2. I thought I'd be a writer by the time I was out of college. Or sooner.
3. I figured I'd be married.
4. I thought I'd gotten over my fear of giving birth.
5. I figured I'd be rich and have nice things by now, like a Prada purse.

At 27 I have....
1. Given up on my delusions of gradure.
2. Am not a writer and have nothing published passed what I had published in high school. In its own literary journal, both pieces which I was never that crazy about. I have no clue where to even start. And I have looked.
3. I am married. But not to who I figured at 17. I had no self esteem at 17. None. I might have been 105 pounds at 17, but I had no self esteem in the least. I might secretly wish I was 105 pounds again, but I do not wish I was anyway my 17 year old self. She had issues.
4. I am terrified of pushing another living being out of me. It actually makes me want to puke and clutch my legs shut. Clear sign: not ready for baby.
5. I do not have a Prada purse. I do not have designer shoes or clothing. I realized yesterday, most of my clothing comes from Old Navy of all places. My 17 year old self has nicer clothing. She at least wore Abercrombie and Guess?

The world keeps turning and I will continue to get gold. At some point my ten year views for myself and what I am will match up. (Like when I turn 33, my 23 year old self knew what I'd be, so by that point it won't be such a gap...lol.)

For my brithday, I did the following:

1. I got the oil changed in the Monstrosity. It took an hour and a half. Because it snowed.
2. I voted. Whoo hooo! My mother will talk to me!
3. I went shopping at Old Navy. (I am serious.)
4. I ate three cupcakes.
5. I shoveled the driveway in a sweater (from Old Navy) and no gloves. (I haven't found any at Old Navy I like.)
6. I shoved the deck and threw snow at Basil. (Does Old Navy make dog clothes?)
7. I watched True Blood.
8. I got mad I couldn't watch Indecision 2010 live. So I watched MSNBC and annoying CNN. Till ten.
9. I watched Indecision 2010 and then I watched Buffy. And then I went to bed.
10. I forgot to eat dinner. I had crabnerry sause and then I realized I hadn't eaten dinner, so I had crackers and lunch meat. And some organic cheese.
11. I was awake this A.M. by a phone call from some spanish speaking robot from West Virgina at 8 am. And I was 27.
12. As a new 27 year old, I will go to the gym and hopefully remember my gym shoes.

I tried to get my butt in gear....

We had no door bell ringing at our house. So either the not turning on any lights for two hours worked or no one was trick or treating around here because of the secret hours. Basil Bea was quiet for most of the night, her only barking fest taking place when I let her outside at four. She really doesn't light our neighbor in his own backyard. I usually have to physically go get her when he's out there. She then runs into the house with her tail between her legs because she knows she's a bad puppy dog.

So, Halloween is over. And I have no candy to eat, which might be a good thing. I am currently dressed to go to the gym, I have just yet to actually go.

I really ought to go to the gym more. When we lived in the dirt hole, I went at least three days a week to the gym. I always felt better after I went. It was easier to get to the gym in the dirt hole because it was just a few blocks away. I could walk to it. I usually did, till the summer and then I drove and felt silly.

Since arriving here, going to the gym has been a hard habit to pick up. I usually go one or twice in a week, then don't go for a few days and then I just stop going all together. I also don't like the gym here too much, as there is no nice, quiet place to stretch and do crunches. The dirt hole gym had nice quiet places for stretching out of the main area. This gym just seems to be all main area. Everything is located in a central area. There is no hiding. Personally, I like hiding. I spent at least an hour hiding in the gym in the dirt hole doing weights, stretches and crunches. Usually all alone by myself. Sometimes there were people in the area I used, but mostly it was just me. The area where the mats are here are out in the open and I hate using them. I don't like people watching me stretch if I am honest with myself. That was the issue I had with yoga classes. It was okay when it was just me, the teacher and R, but when other people started showing up (and R stopped), I stopped going. I told myself it was to save the 4 bucks the class cost, but that was a lie. I just hated being in the room with all those people who could see me stretch. I am lame, I know.

But, I am dressed to go to the gym. I should find my gym ID and just buck up and go. Also, the morning rush should be winding down now, so it won't be crowded. I hate crowded gyms (another reason I loved the dirt hole gym....it was never crowded).

Man, I am hard to please.

Cranky Post

I'll start off by being honest: I am not a huge fan of Halloween.

I never really was. As a kid, I did not do the whole costume and trick-or-treat thing till I was about maybe four, when I was in preschool and lived on a block full of kids. And I don't think my mother ever took me trick-or-treating. She might have, but I do not remember it. Other kids moms took me trick-or-treating, or as I got older, I just went with a group. I do not honestly remember having fun. I mostly remember I never was something I deemed "cool" for Halloween. The last time I had an actual costume, I was Kirsten the American Girl Doll. It was an elaborate costume my mother made and I do not honestly think I appreciated it too much. I never did. But I was always cute. Everyone always told me I was cute. Well, except the year I was Bonny from Bonny and Clyde. No one knew who I was that year. That was the first year my mother did not sew me a costume, as she spent most of her time on my brother's and neither of us knew what to do with me. After the fifth grade Kirsten costume, I never had another costume made for me. I never bought one or made one. In sixth grade, I did not dress up and everyone thought I was strange. So I came home and spray painted my hair pink.

The last time I went trick-or-treating was in sixth grade. I only went because a girl in my class showed up at my door by herself and said, "Hey! Come with me!"

My mother (who believed that I was too old to trick-or-treat) actually pushed me out the door.

And that was the last time I went trick-or-treating. I spent most Halloweens hiding in the family room or my bedroom, as kids from my school hit up our block because it was the place to trick-or-treat. In high school, I started answering the door again and my senior year, I did put candy in pillow cases of people in classes with me, but they failed to realize who I was. Except one guy, who always seemed to know who I was, even when I was hiding.

Then I went to college and dressed up only one time. I was Buffy. I had a white dress and a leather jacket and clunky knee high boots. I also had blonde hair and a lot of cross necklaces. So, because I never had the guts to wear that sort of outfit on a daily basis, I wore it for Halloween and said I was Buffy. After that, I never dressed up again. I would wear orange or black, but I never dressed up as someone. My senior year of college, I was going to dress up as Rory Gilmore, but the plaid school girl skirt I had, was WAY too short, so I just wore a brown skirt and a orange sweater. I think I told my friends I was college Rory, but I was dressed in an outfit I would have worn on any day.

Since I got married, I have never been in a place that get trick-or-treaters (or been home). The first time, we were on our honeymoon on Halloween. The second time, we lived in the Dirt Hole and no one rang our bell before we walked down the empty street to our friends out, where she got maybe three people while we were there. Last year, I was in the middle of nowhere OK and missed Halloween at home. Basil Bea was locked away in a room upstairs, but still barked and wined. This year, I cannot find out ANYWHERE what time tirck-or-treating is. It is not listed anywhere online. None of the news stations have it anywhere on their web sites. It is a secret.

I don't have any candy. I have no idea what time the events are, so why would I have candy? (It was one of those things where I got mad and thus decided I wasn't going to take part.) Plus, Basil hates doorbells. Then, I'm not that crazy about Halloween myself. I do not care if other people take part, but just don't make me. I'm like the Scrooge of Halloween.

A Soap Box Kind of Post

I think everyone has body issues. Its a fact of life. When I was a twig, I had body issues. I thought I had a tummy, my legs were fat, and my arms were saggy. I was 16 and thought I had fat legs since I was 10. Or younger. I cannot remember a times when I did not think my legs were fat.

My legs were never fat. Never. I was never fat. I just thought/think I am. Because I am surrounded by images of skinny people and in my warped head I think everyone looks better than me. I am not a size negative zero. And I never will be a size zero. Why? Well, for one, it wasn't healthy when I was a size zero (which confused me because size zero people don't have fat legs and tummy fat....)My doctor kept telling me I needed to eat more to put on more weight. I ate. I just never gained any weight because of the stress I was under. Since I stopped being stressed out on life, I've gained a ton of weight and am at a healthy weight level, which I am trying to maintain, but its hard because of my warped head and body image. I want to be that smaller size because that is what society tells me I should be. I should be skinny and have very long blonde hair.

I don't want to have blonde hair again. It did not work for me. And being skinny did not really work for me either, as after I began gaining some weight people told me A LOT that I looked SO MUCH BETTER.

"You no longer look like you might break," someone told me.
"Hey! You have curves!"
"You look good, what did you do?"

I gained fifteen pounds. I gained fifteen pounds and people suddenly started telling me I looked good. Go figure.

I don't think most people are fat. And if they are, it doesn't bother me because that is just how they are built. What matters to me is how they behave and treat me. I don't want to be treated like crap. I also don't really care what other people look like around me for the most part. I mean, I kinda get upset when people's clothes don't match....or they wear PJs in public all the time. (One or twice is okay, or if you're just running to the store, but when plaid PJ pants are your staple pant, I have issues, I'm sorry. Its just me. I'll still hang out with you, but I might tell you to buy some fleece pants or some solid colored warm up pants.) But other than the matching and plaid pjs buttons, I don't give a crap. I mostly care about myself because I am kind of self centered like that. If I look good in my head, then I don't care about much else going on around me.

I like seeing people of different weights on TV. It makes me happy to see non-skinny people on TV. I keep forgetting to watch "Mike & Molly," but I did stumble across this article that mentions the show.

I have never seen the show, but by the time I finished reading the article, my ears were burning. (They are burning right now as I type this...so I guess I am still mad.) For the life of me, I cannot think why Marie Claire would POST THIS. It is completely intensive and, well, gross.

Twitter is abuzz with information on the matter. Which was how I found out about it. I swear to god I saw the article in my google news feed and just ignored it because I thought the title of the article was...gross.

However, here is a good response that kind of sums up why I was so pissed off when I did finally read it this morning. It also helped me process my head to why my ears burned. When I get mad, I can't think straight so all I could think of was a string of curse words and well, I mostly thought this: (#&(@#&(#*$&(#$&((*@#(&@(#$&(#$^(*. I am serious, that was in my head.

Blarg. I hate society sometimes. The masses are sometimes kind of stupid. If we all looked the same, life would be a total bore. Being all sorts of sizes and colors allows us to be unique. I just wish the media/Hollywood/fashion would get that.

Best Dressed Hermit

For about an hour today I felt rather worthless and jealous. Why?

I don't hang out with people. I don't really have anyone to hang out with, if I am honest. I know people here in Alaska. I know a few, but the key word is KNOW. These people are not ones I feel comfortable texting/calling/emailing/contacting in any way. If they contact me that is find and dandy. I might go somewhere with them.

Or not. Depends on my mood and if my hair is done.

For an hour today, I felt like there was something wrong me me.

Then I took a shower.

I'm a hermit and have always been a borderline loner. (I say borderline because I get lonely sometimes and feel the need for human contact.)

I'm a really well dressed hermit too. I am serious. I get dressed almost daily and I get "overdress." I have outfits I put together and I wear them. I put makeup on and sometimes I do not leave the house. This always confounded my mother, my getting dressed up to go nowhere (the makeup thing started since I began paying big bucks for makeup, figure I should use it.) I feel better when I am in an outfit, dressed up. There are a few times where I just wore bum clothes and had to be social in them. And it did not go well. One time that jumps to my mind is when my husband had his "solo" flight. He took the keys to both cars, so I figured I wasn't going. I took a shower, tossed on some junk clothing and let my hair air dry. Then, D called and PICKED ME UP and I had to stand around in my junk clothing with my crazy hair and no makeup. Least to say, I was totally embarrassed by the photo of me as I look squat and fat. I work hard to conceal the fact I am short legged and fat. That is why people do not think I am 1) short or 2) fat. (My husband thinks I am sort, but that's because he's almost a foot faller than me, or so it seems when he puts things on the top shelf and I can't reach it.)

So, I get dressed daily. I do my hair. I put on makeup. And sometimes I don't leave the house. Because I don't like to leave the house. And if I do leave the house, 95.5% chance it is by myself. I shop by myself. I entertain myself. I cook for myself. (I lie. I can't cook.) Tragically, though, I have this crazy idea I need to be wild and crazy and popular. As a child I always wanted to be the popular girl, but I would never be popular due to the fact I was quiet and awkward. I learned in college I was awkward because I had no self esteem. As I learned more about myself, I realized I could be fine on my own and I actually kinda liked being on my own.

Well, kinda.

I like having my dog to talk to. As a kid I talked to my clothes. (I pretended they were people, so in my own head I had a lot of friends. Oh, and I had screwdrivers as friends too. Yeah, I didn't play with dolls, I played with screwdrivers.) I was on my own as a child often, as I remember a lot of the neighborhood kids parents worked, so they weren't around during the day. So I played myself and I could do this for hours. I entertained myself with my own imagination till high school when I had a demanding friend. I never had to entertain myself after that and after she was gone I realized I had no idea what to do with myself. I had to re-learn how to entertain myself. Luckily, I still know how to entertain myself since I decided to become a professional hermit.

What do I do on a daily basis?

I get up, let the dog out, feed the dog, feed me, watch TV, sew/craft/write, feed myself, feed the dog, be creative, play video games, text, text, text, talk on the phone, feed the dog, feed myself, write/post purses/blog/surf internet, shop, eat, chase the dog and then go to sleep.

I find putting on makeup entertaining and creative by the way.

I'm a well dressed loner hermit who wants to be popular but has no desire to try.

Interesting huh?

Advetures with Brother Unit

Yesterday, the Brother Unit and I drove up to Wasilla. I have yet to venture over there, mostly because I was not sure what was there other than Sarah Palin.

There was not much there that was not in Anchorage. Well, other than really nice houses in the various neighborhoods we drove through while trying to get back on the main roads. Downtown was...well, almost non existent. It was really a small town. We drove around the lake Palin lives on and went to a park across from her house. (We weren't sure we were at her lake till we got home and Brother Unit looked it up.) The park we were at was the highlight of the trip, as it was a very nice park and I wouldn't mind heading back there when I was more properly dressed. Brother Unit and I only stayed at the park for a little while before running back to the car because it was rather...brisk outside. I was wearing a thing sweater and a trench coat. Brother Unit forgot his hat. As did Ireland Unit.

We then ate at McDonalds, the same one Pilot Boy told us to eat breakfast at because all the workers knew Sarah Palin. "They all know her. You should go there." No one was talking about Sarah when we were in there.

We then drove to downtown Anchorage and walked around downtown. I actually went to a gift shop. I have yet to be to an Alaskan gift shop aimed at tourists, but we went and it wasn't totally tacky. Plus, downtown was as brisk as Wasilla, so my ears hurt. Later, since it was so brilliantly sunny, we tried to Seward Scenic drive again to see if Brother Unit could see Denali from the car. He could. After that, we got Basil Bea and went to Earthquake park to watch the planes land and take off. (Exciting, I know, but we like this sort of thing, even though you'd think we'd be immune growing up near O'Hare...)

Today, we did not do too much, mostly because I sliced my foot open the day Brother Unit arrived and the past three days did a number on my foot. I blame Pilot Boy. Neither of us can really remember what we did before yesterday....we tried to do the Scenic Drive, but the clouds rolled in so you could not see Denali, but the other ones you could see. It was really windy too and I hate driving in general, so a lot of people passed me. And we went to Earthquake park twice. Both time with Basil Bea. She enjoys Earthquake park. We also went to the grocery store every single day Brother Unit's been here.

I am serious. We've been everyday, its like we think we're European.

My foot is throbbing so I think I'll go take my boots off and collapse till we start grilling steaks for dinner.

Dear GCI, I hate you

So, today, my brother came downstairs and informed me that GCI was moving to only capped plans and doing away with the unlimited plans. This upset me for various reasons, one being they never told me. I never got an email. I don't remember seeing anything in the bills they keep sending me even thought I signed up for paperless billing. So, basically, I hate them with a flaming passion. I can't even tell if they moved me to a capped plan and I can't get into my bill because the site doesn't work. I can't even log into see what useage I use because evidently the log in I use to pay my bill ISN'T WHAT YOU USE FOR THE MAIN WEBSITE. How lame is that. Even Time Warner wasn't that lame. So I tried to set up an account, but the website TIMED OUT. THIS IS SO LAME IT IS NOT EVEN FUNNY.

So, basically, what this boils down to is, I'm going to have to cancel Netflix. Why, you ask? Because I actually got Netflix to stream movies and TV shows. I didn't actually get it watch DVDs. Mostly because its kinda lame, as I only get one DVD at a time. But I thought, I can get unlimited downloads of what they offer online, this is worth the 8 bucks a month. On a daily basis, I usually watch around five or more TV episodes, and more if I am working. I watch less when Pilot Boy is home, but then we watch movies and stuff. Seeing I don't know what my cap it, but from what I've gathered tooling around Twitter and the Internet, I will no longer be able to stream what I usually do and NOT GO OVER this "new cap" they put me on. I have no idea what my usage is, and no way to figure it out because GCI is so lame. What will more than likely happen, is that I will cancel GCI, get a dish and slow ass internet and cancel Netflix. Dish is cheaper. Slow ass internet is cheaper. Netflix is only 8 bucks a month, but I won't be able to stream it in the least with slower internet. I mean, I have a pretty fast modem now and I still sometimes have issues with streaming stuff.

This was not a good way to start my day, so I strongly dislike you GCI. Before now you were the best internet/cable company I had dealt with, now, you suck.