I brace myself, I know it will hurt...

I turned 27 yesterday. Serious.

I kind of dreaded turning 27, as it seemed like such a large and old number to turn. I then began thinking what my 17 year old self would think of me....I'm pretty sure she'd be rather unimpressed by me for various reasons.

1. When I was 17, I was still under the delusion I was going to "be some one important."
2. I thought I'd be a writer by the time I was out of college. Or sooner.
3. I figured I'd be married.
4. I thought I'd gotten over my fear of giving birth.
5. I figured I'd be rich and have nice things by now, like a Prada purse.

At 27 I have....
1. Given up on my delusions of gradure.
2. Am not a writer and have nothing published passed what I had published in high school. In its own literary journal, both pieces which I was never that crazy about. I have no clue where to even start. And I have looked.
3. I am married. But not to who I figured at 17. I had no self esteem at 17. None. I might have been 105 pounds at 17, but I had no self esteem in the least. I might secretly wish I was 105 pounds again, but I do not wish I was anyway my 17 year old self. She had issues.
4. I am terrified of pushing another living being out of me. It actually makes me want to puke and clutch my legs shut. Clear sign: not ready for baby.
5. I do not have a Prada purse. I do not have designer shoes or clothing. I realized yesterday, most of my clothing comes from Old Navy of all places. My 17 year old self has nicer clothing. She at least wore Abercrombie and Guess?

The world keeps turning and I will continue to get gold. At some point my ten year views for myself and what I am will match up. (Like when I turn 33, my 23 year old self knew what I'd be, so by that point it won't be such a gap...lol.)

For my brithday, I did the following:

1. I got the oil changed in the Monstrosity. It took an hour and a half. Because it snowed.
2. I voted. Whoo hooo! My mother will talk to me!
3. I went shopping at Old Navy. (I am serious.)
4. I ate three cupcakes.
5. I shoveled the driveway in a sweater (from Old Navy) and no gloves. (I haven't found any at Old Navy I like.)
6. I shoved the deck and threw snow at Basil. (Does Old Navy make dog clothes?)
7. I watched True Blood.
8. I got mad I couldn't watch Indecision 2010 live. So I watched MSNBC and annoying CNN. Till ten.
9. I watched Indecision 2010 and then I watched Buffy. And then I went to bed.
10. I forgot to eat dinner. I had crabnerry sause and then I realized I hadn't eaten dinner, so I had crackers and lunch meat. And some organic cheese.
11. I was awake this A.M. by a phone call from some spanish speaking robot from West Virgina at 8 am. And I was 27.
12. As a new 27 year old, I will go to the gym and hopefully remember my gym shoes.