Containers of Presents

Holiday season means boxes.  Boxes are usually addressed. So you see said box and are like, "OMG! THEY SENT ME A PRESENT! THEY REMEMBERED ME!"

Then, since the invention of the internet, you get random unmarked boxes. By unmarked, they are from places like Amazon, Kohls, Bed Bath and Beyond or Target. You stare at the box and think, "I did not order that....or did?"

So, duh, you run into the house and rip it open and then stare at the object inside and think, "What the hell?"

I have done this a few times, especially since moving away from home. A few times I stare at the thing for a while, then remember there are these things called recipts and they usually tell me who paid for the item. Usually these types of boxes come from my mother. Or brother. Or my father. Okay, I could have just typed my "Family" there, couldn't I? Oh well.

I got a box like that today. I came home from finishing my shopping for Pilot Boy (YAY SALES!) and saw something on the front stoop. I was like, "OH MY GOD. THERE IS A PACKAGE ON THE FRONT STEP!" I figured it was Hubert coming back from his extended vacation in Georgia. (Herbert is a laptop that was parted with Pilot Boy in Georgia. Pilot Boy hated him so much (Herbert, but Georgia) that he simply decided to leave Herbert there and took Hewie (my laptop) and got me a MAC, who is nameless. Sorry MAC. Anyways, the other day, Pilot Boy announced Herbert was returning, as the person/people/place that had Herbert was like, "Hey, we've got your laptop. We're going to send that to you now." BTW, they wouldn't' send it to him before, which is why he was like 'WTF, I am buying a MAC.")

Seeing I live in frozen Alaska, I was like, "OMG IT IS FROZEN!"

So, after falling down the driveway in the Monstrosity (I had to use the 4Wheel drive to get IN the garage) I ran to get the package, only to find Kohls has sent me something.

"I didn't order anything from Kohls..." And if I did I would not have addressed it as PILOT BOY IRELAND SCOTT. Seeing it is that time of year, I was like, OH CHRISTMAS PRESENT!

Upon arrival inside, it was indeed a present, so thank you present giver.

However, one time, I got something and I had no clue who sent it to me (this has happened twice, but the story I am going to share isn't creepy, like the red ball incident of 2006.)

I was living in Glasgow. It was September, and I was still dating/not dating/having no idea what was going on with Not Boyfriend. (That is what I call him.)  L and I were walking up the stairs after getting our mail and I suddenly realized I had no idea who had sent me this small box and pen. I opened the box while we walked up the NEVER ENDING STAIRS OF DEATH. I was like, "Its a bracelet?"

"Yes, it is. Why are you asking me if its a bracelet? Who is it from?" L asked.
"I don't know. There is no note." I shoveled the papers in my hands.
"Do you think its from Not Boyfriend as a way to say sorry?" L asked.
"I don't know."

I kept looking at the receipt, trying to find who it was from, but it didn't have a bill to address on it. It was a very lovely bracelet too. And it had a matching fancy pen with it too. As we neared the fourth floor where we lived (Or the third floor as it was called), I was still trying to figure out who had sent it to me, because Not Boyfriend would never do anything like that. (Hence the Not Boyfriend.) As we were nearing our rooms, I finally found (in micro-print) at the bottom a note that read: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, IRELAND! LOVE, MOM

"My mom sent it to me!" I said, feeling relieved.
"Why do you sound so relieved?" L asked. "Wouldn't it have been sweet if Not Boyfriend had sent it?"
"Its from my mom. For my birthday," I announced. "Plus, Not Boyfriend would never send me anything. I'm pretty sure I only exist in the moment the phone rings."
L stared at me funny for a moment and then said, "Your birthday is in November. Did your mom forget?"

Later, after asking my mom about it, she said because the egg poacher she had ordered me from Amazon was taking forever (it never reached me, it went to Australia or something?) she ordered the present early, to make sure it arrived.

To this day I am VERY thankful she sent it to me and Not Boyfriend, mostly because it would have been so out of character for Not Boyfriend and by that point in time, I was so confused by him, him doing something like that would have made my head explode.

I still wear the bracelet and announce to people, "LOOK WHAT MY MOM GOT ME!" The pen, though, tragically, dried up from too much use. I am serious. It was such an awesome pen, I used it all up!