Back In The Day I Ate Raspberry Muffins

When I was in college, the "fast food" joint (DKs) on campus carried muffins in the morning. Starting as a first year, I discovered a muffin with some sort of red berry that was simply heavenly. I couldn't figure out what the red berry was, but was always thrilled when I found the red berry muffins. DKs did not often carry the red berry muffins, I discovered when I began to get a daily muffin senior year. As a senior, I still didn't know what the berry was. 

Nor did anyone else I bothered to ask. 

I didn't figure it out till my last semester. I was sitting in the coffee joint (Java Joint), eating my muffin and drinking my tea between my morning classes when I realized what the berry was: raspberry. 

And boy did I feel stupid.

The reason I liked the muffins was that they were sweet and tart, reminding me of rhubarb. But there was a bite missing that rhubarb has, so I knew it wasn’t rhubarb. It wasn’t a strawberry, because it wasn’t sweet enough. It was in between. I don’t remember how I realized it was a raspberry, as it honestly looked like a muffin with some red goop. It had no discernible characteristics other than it was red, sweet and tart, and fruit-like. 

But, that day in the Java Joint, I realized it was a raspberry. Or it was in a former life before it’d come in contact with whoever baked the muffins for Beloit College. 

Fast forward ten years, and I’m scrolling through Pinterest looking for “healthy” breakfast muffins to bake next week to take to someone who just had a baby. I was getting frustrated because all the “breastfeeding” muffins have all sort of “healthy” things you cannot find in the middle of nowhere. (Or I don’t want to buy it because it costs 12 dollars for a tiny bag and I’ll use it this once and I don’t even know if she’s breastfeeding because I haven’t spoken or seen her since before she had the baby and also I still live in the middle of nowhere.) 

ANYWAY

So, I gave up on the whole breastfeeding muffins and looked at what foods breastfeeding mothers should be eating. (You’d think I’d remember as I was at one point a breastfeeding mother, but I didn’t actually pay any attention till my milk dried up and I was pumping an ounce a day and freaking out and that was when I learned about low flow and suddenly everything made sense and I gave up.)

ANYWAY

The point of this post: I found raspberry muffins. I know I’ve looked them up before, fondly thinking of those muffins I stuffed in my gob throughout college, but I’ve yet to actually try any of the recipes I’ve pinned. Since I had a lemon, when we went to the store, I bought some raspberries (and blueberries. Those were in the breastfeeding muffins someone brought me shortly after EMO was born) and greek yogurt, as I used most of ours last week making the fail at life greek yogurt brownies no one can stand. (Proof: it’s been four days and they are still in the tin and I’ve only had one, Pilot Boy two.) I’ve not had much success when baking with greek yogurt. (The Cake Cookies and the failure at life brownies.) I was a bit iffy to try these, but figured this time it’d go better as there was more liquid than the failure at life brownies.

They turned out pretty good, though they did remind me why I usually do not bake with berries: melting berries went everywhere. And folding the berries into the batter in a uniform manner was hopeless due to the fact it was so thick, but unlike the Cake Cookies, the thick better made a pretty good muffin. Also, while it seems strange to zest a whole lemon (to me), the lemon flavor isn’t really all that strong. Next time (when I make them for myself), I might zest another whole lemon in there. 

Without further ado: the recipe.

Adapted from here. 

Raspberry-Blueberry-Lemon Breakfast (or Anytime Really) Muffins

Ingredients

1 lemon (seriously, you’ll need the whole lemon or another if you really want a lemony flavor)

1/2 cup sugar (white, unless you really want to use something else, but I used white)

1 cup plain nonfat greek yogurt 

1/3 cup oil (I used veggie, but I’d think any cooking oil would do)

1 egg

1/2 tablespoon vanilla extract

2 cups flour (I would have loved to use white whole-wheat, but tragically, had none so I used all purpose plain flour)

1 1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 cup fresh raspberries

1 cup fresh blueberries

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. 

2. Peel the skin off the lemon. You want to peel, so it doesn’t have to be pretty.  As once you’re done getting the rind off, you’re going to put it in the food processor (or blender) and chop it up into tiny bits. Do not zest, as you want more flavor, so peel that lemon rind off the lemon. (With a veggie peeler, not your fingers.)

3. Put the peel and sugar into a food processor (or blender) and pulse (seriously, pulse, do not blend) until lemon peel is tiny and combined with the sugar. (This will smell awesome. Take a moment and sniff.) 

4. Add the yogurt, oil, egg, and vanilla. Once again, pulse, do not blend, until combined. (This will also smell really good. A different kind of good, but still worth a good whiff.)

5. In a big mixing bowl, combine dry ingredients. Add the wet to this and fold together with a wooden spoon, plastic spatula, or something that is not a motorized mixer. 

6. Once batter is almost combined, add berries and continue folding until there’s no more loose flour. Batter will be super thick.

7. Get out your muffin tins.

8. Spray muffin tins with cooking spray, grease with butter then sprinkle with flour, or line with muffin cups.  Just do something so the batter does not stick to the tin. 

9. Using a spoon, divide the batter among the cups. Fill the cups as full as you can get them, as the batter will rise only a little. (I got a total of 18 muffins out of my batter, filling the cups full.)

10. Bake until edges are golden brown, which will occur around the 18 minute mark. Do not bake for longer than 25 minutes. (Mine finished before the 18 minute mark, but since my oven is usually slow, I set the timer for 20 minutes. Luckily, I checked them shortly after the 18 minute mark, as if I'd left them in there for 20, they'd've burned.) 

11. Remove muffins from oven and cool for five minutes before transferring to wire racks. 

12. Enjoy warm. (Not hot, as the berries will burn your tongue.) 

Milestone Upon Milestone

When you've got a child, you hit miles stones constantly. When they first lift their heads up whilst on their tummies, when they manage to sit up unaided, when they stand up unaided, then they start walking around and never stop. They get teeth, they begin to eat food, stop drinking breast milk and/or formula. They grow out of newborn clothing, then three months clothing, six month clothing, nine month, twelve months, and just when you think they have slowed they no longer fit into 18 months. Just when you think you've got this whole having a child thing under control, they begin talking.

Miles stones. So many mile stones.

EMO (who still munches time, but I think I'm gonna call her EMO from now on here, as she can be kinda emo sometimes) just hit another milestone: preschool registration. Granted, I didn't fill out the mountains of paper work, got copies of her shot records, or whatever else is needed to really "register," but I did fork over money to reserve her spot at a preschool at a local Methodist Church.

I know nothing of preschool. Especially when the kids are only two. I began preschool when I was turning three. And other than screaming when my mother left me, wearing my shoes on the wrong feet, and being hit in the head with a metal truck, I don't remember much.

I was not a social child. I was perfectly content at home, alone, and entertaining myself by pretending my clothes were people. By the time I was three, we'd moved to a neighborhood where there were children who were my age, several in fact. They became my childhood friends and several of them attended the Frog School as I have always called it. (I've no idea what it's actually called some 30 years later.) I cannot tell you if I had a good experience there. I don't remember a lot of those year other than I wasn't allowed to be Rainbow Bright and had to be a bear, I cried a lot at the start of each day when my mother left me, and a little boy threw a truck at my head for reasons I could never figure out.

Preschool is important. I know that much. I also know EMO is a social being and unlike myself really likes other people and going out. Since she was born, I've been dragging myself out mostly for her benefit (mine is just a side benefit). We go shopping. We go to art class. In the summer months I take her to the gym and let her socialize with those whose parents would also like to work out and not have a child climbing all over them when they are trying to do Russian twists or downward dog. It was last summer I realize I needed to do something with EMO to expose her to more kids, as she LOVED it when other kids showed up, no matter their age. Shortly after I began to panic on what do to with the poor kid (didn't need day care, couldn't see paying for it if I didn't need it), one of the girls who I had been friends with as a small child and gone to the Frog School with (and put our shoes on the wrong feet together) posted on Facebook her two-year-old daughter had started Frog School.

I was like, "Wait? Two-year-olds can go to preschool?!"

And I instantly began to see if there were places other than the fancy place in town to send EMO. (Well, it might not be fancy, but they won't even post their tuition prices online. You must call.) After an afternoon of searching, I found a preschool taking place in a Methodist church. Due to this, I decided this was it. This was where EMO was going.

I grew up going to a Methodist Church and some of my best memories are in that musty, dusty smelling building. I am not overly religious. I was allowed to form my own believes and will allow my daughter to do the same. But, I am partial to Methodist Churches. I knew the moment I entered, I'd picked the right joint. It felt like home, familiar, and even smelled the same as the church I'd gone to as a kid. Since I had no idea where I was supposed to meet the woman who was going to give us a tour, I wandered a little till I heard the sound of children and headed down the stairs.

It was like walking back in time. While not everything was the same (no half finished Noah Ark murals on the walls and not totally made out of cinder blocks, there was something comforting about the building. The church was huge, so it took us a while to find the offices. We then sat and waited a little while, EMO pointing out all the fruits that were taped to the walls and failing to find the banana when asked.

As the tour took place, I was struck more and more how the building, thousands of miles away from the church of my childhood, was startling like my own. We walked through their "fellowship hall" and man, I was taken back. While the church itself is a lot more beautiful than the one I attended for years, it still felt right.

So, I filled out the form to reserve her spot, forked over $48 for the art fee, EMO waved goodbye to the tour lady (who had put her shoes back on and her coat, my girl is not shy in the least), while the other girl who was on the tour who was about a year older screamed.

While I wouldn't say the girl was horrible, she was really testing boundaries. The mother was mildly embarrassed, but handled it well. I tried not to feel smug while EMO held my hand, put away toys when asked, and was all around the perfect toddler that make others think, "Hey, this wouldn't be so bad if my kid was as well behaved as EMO." A friend of mine who gave birth this passed weekend said the same thing after sitting with EMO when I got my haircut last week.

While EMO does throw fits, they almost always happen at home, and if they are in public she fails to get the reaction she wants, usually doesn't get what she wants, and gets Angry Mom face. This seems to work. She might pout, but soon someone will say something to her and she'll smile again.

EMO still refuses to eat anything green (except pickles), won't eat meat (except hot dogs), and won't eat anything healthy other than fruit. She has a skin allergy to peanut butter, but sometimes to get protein into her (she recently decided she was above eggs), I feed it to her in limited qualities (mostly if I barely put any on the bread, she doesn't get it all over her face). She is still the most horrible napper known to man, but she will take them. Sometimes. She always goes to bed at eight, usually is asleep by nine and doesn't wake till seven the next morning. She won't eat breakfast if I make it, but if it's in smoothie form she will eat it.

My little girl is growing up. She is testing her boundaries to see what she can get away with. She will start school next fall.

Do I miss the newborn stages? The cuddles, the baby smell, nursing, the quiet, the being immobile?

No.

About the only thing I miss is...nothing. I was anxious for her to get to this stage, where she was discovering things, playing, and talking (or trying). I wake up each morning exhausted (because I have that cold that won't go away and cannot stop coughing), but I smile as it's another fun filled day with EMO. That kid has been independent and stubborn since she came out. Being a newborn frustrated her to no end. She wanted to sit up. She wanted to roll away. When she was finally able to do these things...she was so proud. And once she started walking, god, I've never seen a happier child.

Today, as we toured the school, she held her hand out to me, she dragged me to the bins of toys, then abandoned me instantly when there were other children were around.

I smiled, didn't feel sad. I felt elated.

EMO is going to love preschool, just as she's loved every, single milestone she's reached so far on her way to being an independent person.

Spin

It was raining eight years ago. Pouring rain. If it was sunny, like it is today, I would have wonderful fall pictures in my wedding dress.

As it is, I have a bunch of pictures of me in a wedding dress inside a beautiful inn. There are also quite a few pictures of Pilot Boy ironing, yet not many of us together. I remember us being together a lot more during the reception than is shown on film.

Oh well.

Pilot Boy doesn't actually like having his photo taken. I've no idea why. He's pretty and photogentic.

Anyways, eight years later, and I still don't have many photos of us together.

Facebook reminded me today it was eight years (huh? Really? Am I that old?) since that rainy day in Vermont. The day I randomly picked out based on the fact I thought 27 would make a great day to get married and, hey, look it's a Saturday! Honest. I picked it out before he even asked me. Like, way before he even asked me. I happened to be looking at my calander at work (when I had a job!) and was staring at October. The girl who had the cub to the right of me had gotten married on the 28th. Or something, but, anyways, for some reason while she was trying to plan out her first anniversary, I was looking at my own calandar, a year ahead and saw the 27th was a Saturday. And, even though I've always loved the number 25, I decided at that moment, I liked 27. When, a few months later and I was calling inns in Vermont, the Arlington Inn had the 27th free, I felt like it was kismet.

Eight years later, my life looks exactly how I thought it would. I have a house, I'm still insanely in love with Pilot Boy, and we've got this little being. The only thing I didn't think I'd have is Basil Bea Dog, as I am not a dog person. But, I love the furry, barking idiot, so I wouldn't change a thing. Even this insane military life we are a part of, I wouldn't change it.

Eight years. It honestly doesn't feel that long. Then again, in May, it'll be ten years since I graduated from college and that feels like just a few years ago.

Man, I am getting old.

A Green Cookie

I've wanted a chocolate chip cookies for quite awhile, but didn't actually want one due to this whole "being healthy" thing I'm trying (and sometimes failing at). So, today, since I'm out of spinach, I had to figure out a new healthy treat to feed Time Muncher. I had zucchini, so thus, I made Zucchini Chocolate Chip Cookies. And because I can't leave well enough alone, I tweaked another recipe. The original can be found here. There is likely nothing wrong with that recipe. I just didn't have enough honey (or local honey for that matter) and I added some almond flour. Because I've got some and I have to do something with it. I also added ginger. Because I always add ginger to stuff like this.

Pilot Boy told me these were very good cookies and he almost alway detests when I "experiment" with chocolate chip cookies.

Anyways, here ya go:

Chocolate Chip Cookies with Hidden Zucchini

1/2 cup virgin olive oil (Weird, I know. While all I could smell of the batter of the olive oil, can't taste it once it's baked)
1 egg
1/3 cup white sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1 cup white whole wheat flour
3/4 cup all purpose flour
1/4 cup almond flour (or, 1 cup of all purpose)
1/2 teaspoon baking soda (or if you're an idiot, 1/2 tablespoon and then attempt to pick out some once you realize your mistake. Didn't seem to affect the recipe too badly.)
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon ginger
1 whole zucchini, finely shredded and squeezed to rid of some of the liquid
1/2 cup big chocolate chips (I used dark ones)
1/2 cup mini chocolate chips. (and some over flow if you like chocolate)

What to do with all these things:

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Line your cookie sheets with parchment or slip mats. Or not.

2. In a bowl with high sides and that is of medium size, combine the olive oil, egg, white sugar, brown sugar, and vanilla extract. Once these items are in the bowl, use an electric mixer (or a stand one if you want) and...MIX! Until the sugar dissolves.

3. In another bowl of medium size, combine the flours, baking soda, salt, and spices. Combine in a method of your choosing. (I stirred it with a spatula!)

4. Add the dry to the wet. Use your electric mixer till just combined.

5. Then add the zucchini and mix till the greens tuff is throughly mixed into the dough.

6. Dump the chocolate chips in and use the handy spatula (or spoon, fork, or whatever) to combine.

7. Don't panic when all you smell is olive oil.

8. Drop tablespoons of dough onto the cookie sheets, spacing them apart a bit as they do spread a wee bit.

9. Put into the oven and leave there for between 12-15 minutes. (I left mine in for 13:30.)

10. Remove from the oven and allow to cool on the cookie sheets for two minutes.

11. Transfer to wire wracks to complete cooling.

12. Eat.

All Things Green and Sweet (Getting a Toddler to Eat Green Things)

So, once upon a time I had a child who ate anything I fed her. Kale and parsnips, check. Quinoa and blueberries, check. Peas, carrots, and sweet potatoes, check. Any combination of baby food I tried, Time Muncher snarfed down. I was thrilled. I had a child who would eat literally anything! Even things I detested.

Then, I started feeing her actual food, meaning non-baby food. Suddenly, zucchini was littering the floor, peas were being thrown at Basil Bea Dog, and even grilled chicken was left behind to be fed to the dog. I tried sneaking veggies into things she ate, but she'd figure me out and the hour long veggie frittata I had slaved over was smashed into the cup holder on her high chair (followed by her evil genius laughter).

I suddenly had a picky eater. And most problematic was her refusal to eat all things green, even honeydew.

I mentioned this to her doctor (after searching Pinterest and finding a few things to try when it finally cooled down as almost everything required baking) and he mentioned green smoothies.

"It's what we fed our daughter when she refused her greens," he said smiling easily and looking almost fond at the memories.

So, after her doctor appointment, I went to the Neighborhood Market by Walmart (because it's colder there and less crowded and I have a panic disorder), I got a huge bag of kale and spinach, along with some frozen fruit. So, I set up to make smoothies.

I had gone through a smoothie phase when I was in my first trimester, then I decided my blender couldn't handle ice and gave up.

So, while Time Muncher was sleeping, but close to when she was going to wake, I whipped up one of the green smoothie recipes I'd found on Pinterest.

Or, well, I fudged it as I didn't have everything. I mean, I try to be healthy, but I didn't have almond milk, coconut water, or any of the other "healthy" things people these days seem to always have on hand.

I thought it was a little gross the concoction I'd made, but Time Muncher sucked it down. I put the left over into some pouches and gave those to her whenever she was hungry over the next few days. Put anything in a pouch and she will eat it.

I branched out into green smoothies that I liked. The best combo I found happen to use kale. I figure since I'm feeding her spinach muffins, she can get a dose of kale in her smoothie.

Yeah, spinach muffins. These things are so good, I can't stop eating them. They are seriously brilliant. I followed this recipe here. The only change I made was I used white whole wheat all purpose instead of white, but that's all I changed, so I will direct you there instead of rehashing the recipe.

Now, for smoothies, I did look at recipes, but for the most part, I found if I just eyeball it, they turn out better. So, here are my fool proof, toddler approved, green smoothies.

KALE SMOOTHIE

Overflowing handful of chopped kale
Splash of vanilla extract (very small)
Thawed mango and strawberries (or fresh)
A soup spoon or two of plain greek yogurt.
A dash of cinnamon. Or ginger. Or whatever strikes your fancy.

1. Add all ingredients to blender.
2. Turn blender on (after you've plugged it in). Blend.
3. When everything is blended and you cannot see any kale bits remaining, pour into sippy cup and serve instantly.
4. Either put left overs into pouches to enjoy the next day, or finish it yourself.

SPINACH SMOOTHIE

Overflowing handful of spinach
Splash of vanilla extract (very small)
Canned pineapple, chopped or crushed. Or buy the slices and cut them yourself
Half a banana, cut up to ease the pain on the blender.
1/2 c of whole milk
A dash of cinnamon, ginger, or whatever spice you'd like.

1. Put everything into the blender.
2. Plug blender in.
3. Blend until you see no more spinach anywhere.
4. Pour into spippy cup and watch your toddler consume spinach without his or her knowledge.
5. Eat the left overs yourself. Or put in another sippy cup to be enjoyed tomorrow.

The last thing I've snuck spinach into is pancakes. It occurred to me, after finding out how much Time Muncher loved pancakes, she might eat them even if they are green. So, I turned to the trusty Pinterest, found some spinach pancake recipes and went from there.

SPINACH PANCAKES
Tweaked from here.

One large handful of spinach
3/4 cup of plain greek yogurt
1/3 cup of milk (I use whole milk since they are for Time Muncher)
1 large egg
1 tablespoon oil (I used veggie)
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup white whole wheat flour
1/4 cup almond flour (if you have on hand, if not, leave it out)
1 tablespoon of sugar (any type you feel like using, I used white due to the fact it was sitting right there)
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt

1. Plug in your blender. Put a skillet on the stove and turn it on to medium to heat.
2. Put all wet ingredients into the blender with the spinach.
3. Blend, blend, blend, blend.
4. Whilst blending, get a large mixing bowl and combine the dry ingredients. Stir until they are combined.
5. Add the wet to dry and mix. If the batter is still too thick, add more milk. If it's too thin, add a little bit of flour. (Each time I've made this, the batter's been too thick, so I added a little more milk. Batter should be thin, but not liquified.)
6. Using a tablespoon, add a dollop of batter to the skillet. Depending on skillet, you might get more or two into the pan.
7. Stand and stare at them till they start to bubble. If they don't bubble (because they are too thick) wait about two or three minutes if you like timing things.
8. Flip!
9. Sing a little ditty in your head.
10. Upon finishing your ditty (which ought to be two minutes or so long), remove pancake from skillet.
11. Wait for it to cool before feeding it toddler.

To reheat the left overs you will likely have (unless your husband is home and he eats them all because they are "SO SMALL! Why are they mini pancakes? Why can't you just make regular pancakes?"), microwave for 25 seconds to heat the middle, then warm on a heated skillet or griddle for a minute just to crisp the outside up. You'd never know they were nuked. Trust me.

Time Munching with Wiggles

A year ago, I was exhausted, elated, freaked out, exhausted, anxious, and exhausted. Why?

I'd just had a baby.

By this time (roughly 7pm), I'd adjusted to the fact I had this small being dependent on me and I had peed the three mandatory times required for me to be able to go home the next day. I'd been fed, drugged, and was looking forward to sleeping. As I might have mentioned, I was exhausted.

A year later, I'm no longer exhausted, but I am constantly tired. It usually hits at about 7pm. I just get utterly exhausted and desperately want to go to bed.

However, someone who no longer really Wiggles doesn't wish to sleep at seven.

Or much.

That much hasn't changed in the year of life. My kid still doesn't like sleeping much. She does, though, seem to understand she needs it and will do it. For some stretches. She takes one nap, sometimes two hours long. She sleeps from about 8 till 12, then 12 till 6.30, 7 if we're lucky. On bad days, she wakes up at 4 am ready to get up and face her day.

Crazy child.

She walks now more than she crawls. She's into everything and I'm not sure how she sees as her hair is always in her face. (She won't wear barrettes and yanks out elastics.) Her feet are not big enough for most walker-shoes, as she wears a 2.5, not a 4. She wears a size 12 in length, but a 6 in with. Everything still makes a trip into her mouth and she loves to chew on books. Unloading the DVD bins is a daily activity, as well as handing Mommy all the DVDs as if they are precious jewels.

My days speed by at the speed of light and by the time we put Time Muncher (formerly known as Wiggles) I cannot for the life of me figure out where the day went. While I might not be able to explain to you what I exactly did today, I'll will have either gotten dressed to leave the house or dressed to work out. If I dressed to work out, I almost always get it down during nap time. I might not unload the dishwasher, but I will work out. Days I work out AND unload the dishwasher are REALLY AMAZING DAYS.

The past year as seen Time Muncher go from a squirming, funny looking newborn, to a pretty little baby, to a long, lean walking machine. Her hair went from just on her head to everywhere, and her teeth went from zero to four. She laughs, cries crocodile tears, and claps her hands for Elmo. She always stops what she's doing when Frozen starts and will attempt to dance to any music she hears.

She takes her socks off, tends to loose one shoe, hates for you to put things over her head, but will always help you remove her shirts. She likes to give people things and then stare at them while they hold them. She usually doesn't want them back. She love to knock things over and hates when Dad leaves the room when she's cranky.

Everyone tells me she's beautiful, she looks like me, and she's utterly adorable (especially when she waves at them or claps her hands). I tend to agree with all these assessments and I love that she loves almost all food we give her (except cheese and spinach ravioli). She drinks water, love wheat puffs she can share with Basil Bea Dog, and rolls around on the dog bed like it's her own.

I know life has changed with the addition of Time Muncher, yet I am still me. And I am proud of this. I did not loose myself. I changed-- I no longer spent two hours to get ready to leave the house. I can get ready to go somewhere in under 30 now, including a shower! I still write, still do art projects, and still bake sugary things I shouldn't likely be eating. I sewed a diaper bag, painted half a bedroom, wrote several stories, edited several stories, scrap booked, and got into oil paints. I still love clothes, buy too many pairs of shoes, and adore designer purses. I just also love buying shoes, clothes, and toys for TM. I love building block towers for her to knock over, reading books to myself while she chews on another and is clearly not listening to me, and walking her down the mean streets and not get hit by cars because the town lacks sidewalks. I like taking TM shopping. She likes to get out and see the sights.

I am less house bound since TM and will likely remain that way as she's super social. And now that she's walking and playing, she'll likely like some friends.

A year ago, I had a baby. A year ago, I didn't know what was going to happen, yet I was looking forward to it. I'm looking forward to the next year of development and every year after. Will I miss her being a baby? Being a newborn who didn't do anything except lie there and stare at the ceiling?

No. I'm one of those weird people who will not miss those days because they were boring and frustrating. My child didn't want to cuddle, she wanted to be independent. She was so happy the day she figured out how to move on her own. I do cherish the moment she wants to cuddle, when she sits in my lap and happily sucks on her two fingers and ceases moving.

Those moments...those I like.

An Almost Pinterst Fail

I've had quite a few Pinterest fails. Mostly how to curl your hair. No matter which method I try, none of them work as advertised. However, I've not had many recipes fails.

I almost had one today.

I had planned to make blueberry muffins, but after I worked out today, I really wanted chocolate. So, after checking out this recipe for Chocolate Fudge Yogurt Cookies. Sounds good, right?

They might be, but I followed her directions and came out with a bowl of...a couple balls of dough, but mostly a bowl of flour mixed with coco. So, I improvised.

This usually ends badly. When I do not follow directions, things never taste right and turn out to be a disaster. It's why I don't like cooking and I stick to baking. I tweak occasionally, but I never just...go off the book.

Well, the book failed me this time. I've no clue what I did wrong, but my cookies were in danger, so, I added an egg white, melted a tablespoon and half of coconut oil, and got the electric beater out.

And almost killed the motor. After I was done, I was smelling something...well, wrong. I sniffed the oven, it smelled oven like. I smelled the dough, it smelled chocolate and minty. Finally, I went back to where I first smelled the odor and discovered the motor in the hand mixer was burning. Or something. I unplugged it and put it away. Hopefully it'll work next time.

ANYWAYS

The dough is REALLY THICK, but that leads to what Pilot Boy calls Cake Cookies.

So, without further ado, here's the recipe for...

Chocolate Cake Cookies
(adapted from Chocolate Fudge Yogurt Cookies.)

1 egg
1 egg white
1 1/2 tablespoons coconut oil, semi melted
1 1/2 cups powder sugar (packed)
2 containers of single serving Chiboni plain Greek yogurt
1 1/2 cups flour
1 cup unsweetened dark coco powder
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp plus 1 tbsp vanilla extract
pinch of salt (or the 2 tsps of sea salt, which I added to the mixture instead of sprinkling on top)
and how ever many chocolate chips you want. (I dumped half a bag of Mint Chocolate Chips and maybe 1/4 of a bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips in when the first half bag didn't look like enough)

1. Preheat oven to 355. (Mostly because I cannot set my oven to 356. I can only do things by fives.)
2. Whisk egg, vanilla, and powder sugar together till smooth in a medium bowl. (It will appear at first as if there is too much dry ingredient in the bowl to actually combine, but don't worry, it will.) 
3. Mix the flour, coco, baking soda and salt together in a large bowl.
4. Add the vanilla sugar egg mixture to the flour coco mixture. Mix together till you give up at ever getting it to actually look combined.
5. Add the containers of yogurt. Attempt the mixing thing again.
6. When you feel like a failure at life, add the egg white and semi melted coconut oil (heat up some water, put a tiny bowl in the bigger bowl of heated water, add the coconut oil and melt. It takes like maybe a minute). 
7. Get out your electric mixer or hand mixer and use it like your life depends on it.
8. Try not to kill your mixer.
9. Once everything is combined and there's no more dry stuff lurking in the bowl, add the chocolate chips and mix again till the chips are lost within the massive amounts of dough.
10. Grab a spoon and drop onto cookie sheets.
11. Put in preheated oven and bake for 10-12 minutes depending on your oven.
12. Cool for three minutes, move to wire wracks.
13. Enjoy.

Diaper Update

Wiggles is now almost 11 months old. She weights 19 pounds and I've no clue how tall she is as I haven't gotten her to be still long enough to measure her. Her legs have finally chunked out a bit, but she is still long and skinny for a baby. Likely because she is NEVER still. Even when she's asleep she's not still.

We still battle for naps, still have issues sleeping through the night. But sometimes it does happen: sleeping through the night.

Only we had a problem: diaper overflow.

My beloved Luvs were no longer containing the outflows. In the past, when this occured, it was time to go to the next size up. While she was in the weight limit for the diapers in the past, her legs were usually a little too skinny for the next size, her her loads were ready so we just strapped her in and hoped for the best. This time, she is no where near the weight limit for the size 4. She is firmly in size three, yet they do not hold enough pee.

Pee is my enemy now, not poop. (Unless she pees and poops at the same time, then it is a disaster.) During the day, I can change her diaper every two hours. However, HUGE COMMA, at night, I am not waking her up to change her diaper. It ends in tears. Trust me. I woke her once at four to change her diaper because she hadn't woken at her usual time for a bottle. I'd hoped I could get the wet diaper off, put a dry on one, and put her back down.

Not so lucky.

So, the next day, I went to investigate diapers, just as I had when she was still in my belly. This time, though, I had more options. Did you know there are like two different versions of diapers for her size in Pampers? And Huggies? But Luvs only had one type of diapers and they simply do not hold enough pee to go all night long without a diaper change. But, they do make diapers that go that long. After spending a little too long staring at diapers, I picked up small packs of Pampers Cruisers and Huggies Snug and Dry. Both claimed they held 12 hours worth of wetness.

Pampers Cruisers were up first. I put it on her before her nap that day--which she actually took! It was two hours long. In the Luvs, I'd have a very heavy diaper after a two hour nap. With the PC diapers, I had a half full diaper of pee. Happy, I changed her diaper and put her in a Huggies one. Instantly, I hated the Huggies on. I don't like them-- plain and simple. They seem flimsy. At least her legs fit into the holes this time. She wore it for four hours while crawling around and no leaks. I've used the Huggies Snug and Dry at bedtime and so far, no leaks and no overly full diapers. Same with the Pampers.

She's slept through the night at least three times since I bought the new diapers and only one time did Pilot Boy put the wrong diaper on her at night. I had a damp baby come morning when she spent the entire night in the Luvs diaper (she usually wakes up when wet, but she's growing or something).

So, after we finish the Luvs, we're switching to Pampers Cruisers and I will forlornly stare at my empty pocket book but no longer have to change her pants every three or four hours.

An Ode to Shoes

I love shoes. I've loved shoes since I was 13 and realized I owned almost fifty pairs of them. I was awed and amazed to discover I had an obsession with shoes. Since that point in time, I've continued to hoard shoes, loving everything about them except one thing: wearing them.

I hate wearing shoes.

I walked around barefoot whenever I could get away with it. I took off my shoes as soon as it is feasible. I was that person who will take her shoes off on the plane and put my feet on the gross carpet. Why? Because due to the fact I hated wearing shoes, I had about ten inches of callouses on my feet. I could hardly feel anything.

Till I got my first pedicure.

It's been all downhill since that point in time because do you know what they do to your feet when you get a pedicure? They scrap your feet and remove the callouses.

I was horrified. Utterly, completely horrified. I wanted to rip my foot out of the tiny woman's grasp, as what the hell was she doing?

I didn't though and I regret it all the time. Why? Because up till that point, shoes, when I did deem to wear them, didn't bother me. I never got blisters. I never had to break shoes in.

Then, my years of work hardening my feet was taken away from me and suddenly my feet always hurt. Shoes gave me blisters on my heels, my big toes, between my toes when I wore flip flops for the first time in a season, and worst of all I had to break shoes in suddenly.

I'd never had to do that before.

Why the hell do people get pedicures? Seriously. I've gotten maybe four total in my life and each time they scrap away my callouses on my feet I think, well, maybe this time will be different.

It's not.

Yeah, my feet look pretty, but my shoes and I have a hard relationship after this point.

I haven't had a pedicure in seven years. I got one before I got married. Mostly because I was like, "What the heck? It's fifty degrees. I can wear flip flops." I mored when the polish finally began chipping and swore I'd get another one in the summer. Maybe keeping up with the whole foot scrapping would help?

Then, I never got another one.

I thought about it. Multiple times, but I've never gone. Even while I was pregnant. Mostly because I had no idea where to go to get it done other than the place by Walmart and I was like, "I don't want to go there by myself. It's alway awkward."

So, yeah. I've got seven years of callouses on my feet, but I still have to break in shoes.

That's where I am going with this: breaking in shoes.

I finally broke down and bought a pair of Tory Burch flats. I've only wanted a pair for seven years. The only reasons I didn't do it before now was because I had a minor heart attack each time I saw the price of a pair. Then, as discussed in a previous post, I discovered designer resale. And I know what you're thinking: used shoes. Ick. But, seriously, I'm not about to pay $400 dollars for a pair of heels I might wear twenty
times in the next seven years.

LK Bennett Sledge

Stuart Weitzman Corkswoon

But, oh, how I lusted after Kate Middleton's shoes. I love the Sledge by LK Bennett and the Corkswoon by Stuart Weitzman. I seriously wanted the Corkswoon, but I cannot pay $400 for a pair of 4 1/2 inch platforms I won't be able to walk in. Towering high heels and I are not friends after my pregnancy. About 3 1/2 inches is what I can get away with without a platform and four with, but that extra half inch is not doable. I cannot walk. And it breaks my heart, BUT, I found the perfect subs for the Corkswoon and they are super comfortable. Last spring, I was tooling around JC Factory's website and found a very similar pair. They were navy, wedges, but used rope rather than cork. However, I was never able to find a look-a-like pair for the Sledge within my low price point and in my size. I'd find the perfect pair, but they'd not have my size.

Tragic. On many levels.

Then one afternoon, I logged onto ThredUp and there they were: the LK Bennet Sledge. In the Right color.

I don't think I even really thought about it, I put it in the cart and checked out before I even realized what I was exactly doing: buying used shoes. I did not even care. All I could think: I was going to own a pair of $400 designer shoes! And I only paid $77 for them!

I was giddy by the time the shoes arrived and threw them on my feet as fast as possible.

They were a little tight in the shoe box, but I didn't care. I owned a pair of LK Bennett shoes! And the ones I'd lusted after for years! Also, as I wore them around the house to get used to them/break them in, I discovered if I put my foot in sides, my toes didn't get squished. (I know, does that make sense? No.) I also discovered, if I wore them with socks, I could wear them longer. The only issue was finding no show socks that were low enough cut not to shoe. (I've yet to find them.)

Anyways, so I had my first pair of high end designer shoes and I could not stop thinking about my next pair. (The same thing happened when I first bought a designer purse, I couldn't stop thinking about my next one.) I trolled the two resale sights I use and never came across what I really wanted: a pair of Tory Burch flats. Oh, sure, both sites have a lot of Tory Burch flats, just none in my size. I spent months waiting and hoping, but never did they show up.

Then one day, Pilot Boy said something that made me think: I could buy a pair of designer shoes at full price. (Then I shuddered.) So, I ventured out onto the retail sites online and began to research. I looked at Stuart Weitzman, read reviews. What I like about his wedges is the heel base is larger than on most wedges, making it easier to walk in. Yet, I still could not bring myself to pay for a pair of shoes I might not be able to walk in, so I turned my sites to Tory Burch.

I can walk in flats. I've always wanted a pair of Reva flats for seven years. I remember when I first saw them on PurseBlog (yeah, weird I know). The writer had just gotten a pair and loved them. That weekend, I was at Dillards (I think) and saw a pair on display. I grabbed it up, flipped it over, and promptly put it back down.

For newly wed and currently unemployed me, they were way too much money.

I didn't pick up another pair till we were in San Antonio and at an outlet mall. I went into the overly crowded Tory Burch outlet thinking maybe I could get a pair of flats. The store was a zoo, so I just waked around quickly looking for shoes. I found a pair, flipped it over, and promptly put it back.

The outlet shoes cost the same as the non-outlet shoes.

And that's the thing about outlet malls I've come to discover: their not any cheaper any longer. Retailers MAKE clothes for their outlet stores. Yeah, they have "sales" on them, but in reality its not any cheaper than going to the actual store if they had a sale.

So, before I had a panic attack in the overly crowded store, I left and decided I'd just buy the flats another day. (I'd just gotten a pair of Ray-Bans, so I figured the flats were out of the question for that trip.)

Fast forward two years and my current obsession with designer shoes.

I've wanted these shoes for seven years. Yes, they've changed over the years, but the Reva flat is still made, still comes in black and gold.

Only, I really hate gold.

And I really do hate labels. (Odd, I know.)

When I first began lusting after the Reva flat, no one knew who Tory Burch was, nor knew her logo. Now, they do. So, yeah. But, it was mostly the gold logo that turned me away from the Reva flats currently available. I was surfing around the Tory Burch site and found the flats for me: Mini Miller.

Mini Miller Flat in yellow

I am not sure what is mini about them, but they are the typical Tory Burch flat, but the logo is done in the same color, and in this case leather, as the shoe itself. After a few days of thinking about it, I bought them.

And like when I bought my first (and third) designer purse, I fretted about the purchase. Like my first designer purse, I cannot brag about not paying full price, as I did. Tragically. Why? Because each and every time Tory Bruch has a sale, the flats are never on sale in my size. NEVER. Everyone must wear an 8.5. Seriously. Anyways, so, the shoes showed up a few days ago. After the dog stopped barking (UPS delivered and he cannot stealthily deliver anything due to the noise his truck makes never mind his instance on ringing the bell), I unpacked the shoes and stared.

I've never had a designer shoe box before. The LK Bennett shoes didn't come in a box, they were simply wrapped in bubble wrap. Now, I know, why does it matter. Most people throw away shoe boxes. I used to, but now I keep my shoe boxes and store shoes in them. You know, so they don't get dusty. I started doing this in Alaska when I had a shelf to keep the boxes on. Now, I have a shelf for shoes to display them, so I keep the ones I wear often on there and the nicer ones all in boxes, sometimes doubled up if they don't have boxes due to being bought at TJ Maxx.

Anyways, so I spent a lot of time staring at the box. I also spent quite a bit of time looking at the wrappings, as that is one thing I just love about ordering designer things from the designer's website: the packaging. I'm pretty sure I only like this due to the fact I ran my own shop for four years and took pride in how I presented the handbag to it's new owner via it's wrappings. So, I spent quite a bit of time enjoying the shiny paper and shoe box before I actually took the rubber band (nice purple elastic thing) off and looked at the shoes.

Yup. Those were the shoes I ordered.

I put them on and stared at my feet. I almost expected something to happen, but nothing did other than Wiggles deciding she also like the trappings of my shoes and made the box explode of packaging.

Not knowing if I ought to keep them or not, I wore them around the house, realizing they were kind of uncomfortable. Now, I didn't expect them to be like my boat shoes, instantly comfortable. They are hard leather and need breaking in. And today, after three days of having these shoes I decided to "break them in" quickly by use of a hair dryer. I found it on Pinterest. So, I was like, eh, worth a shot. Especially after I am not sending them back. Between the fact I do really like them, Wiggles has drooled all over them a few times before decided, No. I do not like Tory Burch as much as LK Bennett (yes, she nawed on my LK Bennett shoes. She loves them.) So, I took my hair dryer, blasted the shoes for a total of 8 seconds each then put them one with a pair of SmartWool socks.

They are a lot more comfortable with the SmartWool socks on, even if I look like an idiot due to the fact I'm wearing designer flats, SmartWool socks in grey and blue, and exercise pants. (I'm dressed for working out this afternoon when Wiggles goes to sleep, not just because I didn't feel like putting proper pants on this morning.)

However, part of me knows that if I'd never gotten a pedicure all those years ago, I wouldn't be breaking shoes in at this moment and instead would be dancing around merrily not having any idea what blisters felt like.

The Somewhat Healthy Triple Chocolate Muffins

So, I'm trying to eat healthier. You know, to loose those last ten baby pounds that are hanging out around my middle. I've been working out at least three times a week, but as usual, my diet is always the hardest thing to alter. Mostly due to my love affair with sugar.

I love sugar.

So much.

I troll Pinterst often for "healthy" baking recipes. Granted, most times I get distracted by all the other sugary goodness out there, but I decided I'd try a "healthy" one today. Granted, I lacked the whole wheat flour and unsweetened almond milk, but whatever. I actually had the coconut oil! And I had the zucchini.

Yeah. That's right. I baked something sweet and chocolate with zucchini.

And they are utterly brilliant. They are not very sweet, likely due to the use of half the sweeter called and the use of dark chocolate, but they are so good. And they hit the spot. And you cannot taste the zucchini at all.

So, here's the recipe, which I adapted from here. Her recipe is healthier than mine, due to her use of white whole wheat flour and unsweetened almond milk. I did cut the honey, but I used regular flour, so I will call mine....

The Somewhat Healthy Triple Chocolate Muffins

1 1/4 cup of your choice of flour
1/3 cup of unsweetened dark coco powder (or whatever you have)
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 tablespoon vanilla (I love vanilla, but you can use 1 teaspoon if you don't love it like me)
2 tablespoons of coconut oil
1/3 cup of honey (just fill the 1/3 cup in half)
1 egg
1 egg white
1 cup of shredded zucchini
1/4 cup of unsweetened applesauce
1/2 cup of dark chocolate almond milk
1/2 cup chocolate chips
1/4 cup of white chocolate chips, plus a few to sprinkle on the top before baking

1. Preheat oven to 350.
2. Line muffin tin with liners and spray. (Seriously, no matter what kind of liners you're using, spray them with nonstick cooking spray. These babies like to stick, so spray away.)
(Random: I tested out silicone muffin liners and they are AWESOME. The muffins popped right out and I can reuse them again and again.)
3. Shred the zucchini into the smallest bits you can manage.
4. Put the pile of zucchini in two paper towels, find a sink, and squeeze. Make sure all the extra water gets out. If you soak through the first set of paper towels, get another set and squeeze till no water comes dripping out. Set aside.
5. In a medium bowl, combine the flour, coco, baking soda, salt and whisk together. Set aside.
6. In a large bowl (hopefully one with tall sides) combine the coconut oil, egg white and egg, and vanilla. Mix on medium till you cannot see any bits of coconut oil. The mixture should be smooth.
7. Add the zucchini, unsweetened applesauce, and almond milk. Mix till combined on the low setting.
8. Slowly add the dry ingredients, mixing till combined.
9. Fold in the chocolate chips.
10. Spoon into the muffing liners. The original recipe said you'd get 12, but I got 18 filling each about half full.
11. Bake for 22 -25 minutes. I put mine in for 23 minutes and 30 seconds. But, every oven is different.
12. Let cool for awhile. (I didn't time this part.) Once cool, remove from muffin liners and enjoy.