A Green Cookie

I've wanted a chocolate chip cookies for quite awhile, but didn't actually want one due to this whole "being healthy" thing I'm trying (and sometimes failing at). So, today, since I'm out of spinach, I had to figure out a new healthy treat to feed Time Muncher. I had zucchini, so thus, I made Zucchini Chocolate Chip Cookies. And because I can't leave well enough alone, I tweaked another recipe. The original can be found here. There is likely nothing wrong with that recipe. I just didn't have enough honey (or local honey for that matter) and I added some almond flour. Because I've got some and I have to do something with it. I also added ginger. Because I always add ginger to stuff like this.

Pilot Boy told me these were very good cookies and he almost alway detests when I "experiment" with chocolate chip cookies.

Anyways, here ya go:

Chocolate Chip Cookies with Hidden Zucchini

1/2 cup virgin olive oil (Weird, I know. While all I could smell of the batter of the olive oil, can't taste it once it's baked)
1 egg
1/3 cup white sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1 cup white whole wheat flour
3/4 cup all purpose flour
1/4 cup almond flour (or, 1 cup of all purpose)
1/2 teaspoon baking soda (or if you're an idiot, 1/2 tablespoon and then attempt to pick out some once you realize your mistake. Didn't seem to affect the recipe too badly.)
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon ginger
1 whole zucchini, finely shredded and squeezed to rid of some of the liquid
1/2 cup big chocolate chips (I used dark ones)
1/2 cup mini chocolate chips. (and some over flow if you like chocolate)

What to do with all these things:

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Line your cookie sheets with parchment or slip mats. Or not.

2. In a bowl with high sides and that is of medium size, combine the olive oil, egg, white sugar, brown sugar, and vanilla extract. Once these items are in the bowl, use an electric mixer (or a stand one if you want) and...MIX! Until the sugar dissolves.

3. In another bowl of medium size, combine the flours, baking soda, salt, and spices. Combine in a method of your choosing. (I stirred it with a spatula!)

4. Add the dry to the wet. Use your electric mixer till just combined.

5. Then add the zucchini and mix till the greens tuff is throughly mixed into the dough.

6. Dump the chocolate chips in and use the handy spatula (or spoon, fork, or whatever) to combine.

7. Don't panic when all you smell is olive oil.

8. Drop tablespoons of dough onto the cookie sheets, spacing them apart a bit as they do spread a wee bit.

9. Put into the oven and leave there for between 12-15 minutes. (I left mine in for 13:30.)

10. Remove from the oven and allow to cool on the cookie sheets for two minutes.

11. Transfer to wire wracks to complete cooling.

12. Eat.

An Almost Pinterst Fail

I've had quite a few Pinterest fails. Mostly how to curl your hair. No matter which method I try, none of them work as advertised. However, I've not had many recipes fails.

I almost had one today.

I had planned to make blueberry muffins, but after I worked out today, I really wanted chocolate. So, after checking out this recipe for Chocolate Fudge Yogurt Cookies. Sounds good, right?

They might be, but I followed her directions and came out with a bowl of...a couple balls of dough, but mostly a bowl of flour mixed with coco. So, I improvised.

This usually ends badly. When I do not follow directions, things never taste right and turn out to be a disaster. It's why I don't like cooking and I stick to baking. I tweak occasionally, but I never just...go off the book.

Well, the book failed me this time. I've no clue what I did wrong, but my cookies were in danger, so, I added an egg white, melted a tablespoon and half of coconut oil, and got the electric beater out.

And almost killed the motor. After I was done, I was smelling something...well, wrong. I sniffed the oven, it smelled oven like. I smelled the dough, it smelled chocolate and minty. Finally, I went back to where I first smelled the odor and discovered the motor in the hand mixer was burning. Or something. I unplugged it and put it away. Hopefully it'll work next time.

ANYWAYS

The dough is REALLY THICK, but that leads to what Pilot Boy calls Cake Cookies.

So, without further ado, here's the recipe for...

Chocolate Cake Cookies
(adapted from Chocolate Fudge Yogurt Cookies.)

1 egg
1 egg white
1 1/2 tablespoons coconut oil, semi melted
1 1/2 cups powder sugar (packed)
2 containers of single serving Chiboni plain Greek yogurt
1 1/2 cups flour
1 cup unsweetened dark coco powder
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp plus 1 tbsp vanilla extract
pinch of salt (or the 2 tsps of sea salt, which I added to the mixture instead of sprinkling on top)
and how ever many chocolate chips you want. (I dumped half a bag of Mint Chocolate Chips and maybe 1/4 of a bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips in when the first half bag didn't look like enough)

1. Preheat oven to 355. (Mostly because I cannot set my oven to 356. I can only do things by fives.)
2. Whisk egg, vanilla, and powder sugar together till smooth in a medium bowl. (It will appear at first as if there is too much dry ingredient in the bowl to actually combine, but don't worry, it will.) 
3. Mix the flour, coco, baking soda and salt together in a large bowl.
4. Add the vanilla sugar egg mixture to the flour coco mixture. Mix together till you give up at ever getting it to actually look combined.
5. Add the containers of yogurt. Attempt the mixing thing again.
6. When you feel like a failure at life, add the egg white and semi melted coconut oil (heat up some water, put a tiny bowl in the bigger bowl of heated water, add the coconut oil and melt. It takes like maybe a minute). 
7. Get out your electric mixer or hand mixer and use it like your life depends on it.
8. Try not to kill your mixer.
9. Once everything is combined and there's no more dry stuff lurking in the bowl, add the chocolate chips and mix again till the chips are lost within the massive amounts of dough.
10. Grab a spoon and drop onto cookie sheets.
11. Put in preheated oven and bake for 10-12 minutes depending on your oven.
12. Cool for three minutes, move to wire wracks.
13. Enjoy.

It's 110 and I Want Fro-Yo

Awhile ago, I was cruising the aisle of the commissary and came across this Chobani Key Lime Pie Crumble Greek Yogurt. I ate quite a few of them and really wanted to try to make Key Lime Pie. Then I read recipes and I was like, "Yikes. Raw eggs."

Then, a few weeks down the line, I was eating some plain Greek yogurt and dark chocolate sauce and I thought, "This would be great frozen."

So, at first I tried to make it in the blender, like a smoothy. That wasn't what I wanted. So, I broke down and got out the ice cream maker.

My mom got Pilot Boy an ice cream maker when he graduated pilot training many moons ago. Pilot Boy loves ice cream. Well, mostly Dairy Queen ice cream, but he'll eat other ice cream as well. Anyways, we used it I think twice before we left the Dirt Hole. Shortly after I discovered Pinterest and desperately wanted Cake Batter ice cream because there were no Cold Stones in Alaska, I took it back out and used it a few times. The Cake Batter ice cream went horribly. I also wanted to try something more healthy, so I tried Cake Batter frozen yogurt.

It worked! And it was good! And healthier than ice cream!

Since arriving the land of Okies where most days (even in the winter) it's way too hot to function, I did not unearth the ice cream maker till recently. Why? Because we had a crummy batch of strawberries that I thought I could turn into frozen yogurt. 

The berries went bad before the container was frozen, so that idea died. 

BUT...

Since the bowl was already in the freezer, I mixed up some yogurt and chocolate and made some frozen greek yogurt. 

The chocolate batch wasn't that great. It was a little too tangy, likely due to the plain greek yogurt I used. Also, everything I use baking chocolate in never tastes right. 

I washed the bowl, put it back in the freezer and decided to try again. While picking up things to make more, I found Key Lime Greek Yogurt. Without the crumble stuff. I stared, mouth open and grabbed up six of them. (I also picked up some watermelon. I ate that one yesterday just to taste it and think it'll be good as frozen yogurt too.)

Today, I looked up recipes on Pinterest, found a simple one, and got down to work. 

Key Lime (Or whatever flavor) Greek Frozen Yogurt: The Recipe.

6 containers of Chobani Key Lime (or whatever) Greek Yogurt 

(Next time I think I'll use seven. I didn't have exactly a whole quart, so I added three tablespoons because I thought it was a bit watery.) 

1/2 can low fat (or high fat if you really want) condensed milk 

(I might have used more, as the can claimed to be 14 fl oz, so I measured out 7 fl oz, but there seemed to be less than half left over in the can when I was done.) 

1 tablespoon vanilla

1/4 teaspoon salt

Add all ingredients together, mix, and dump into an ice cream maker. Follow the ice cream maker's directions. 

Once done, scoop into a freezer safe container and put it in the freezer. It'll harden up, so just let it sit on the counter a wee bit before eating.

Sweet and Salty Cookies

Carmel Sea Salt & Chocolate Chip Cookies

I've been rather keyed into sea salt carmel lately. I can't remember when the cravings for it began, but I'll blame Starbucks for lack of people to blame. Anyways, I found these nifty carmel bits at Jumbo Foods (local grocer) awhile  back and was like, "Dude, these could be used for cookies."

So, of course I bought them.

And they sat in my cabinet for over a month. How do I know it was more than a month? Well, my daughter is four weeks old and I bought them before she was born. Thus, I've had them for over a month.

So, since I feel like a normal person (kind of) once more, I thought I'd bake some cookies. Whilst my parental units were in town for two weeks, I made cookies, but I didn't use the carmel bits. Since I'm venturing out to be social with people my own age on Friday (and giving Basil Bea a much needed dog play date), I figured I'd try my all time fav cookie recipe and throw the carmel bits in instead of the dark chocolate chips.

Now, for YEARS I've tried every single chocolate chip cookie recipe I've run across. And they all pretty much taste the same to me and usually are kind of a let down after they are no longer fresh from the oven. Well, after we moved into the house and I had a kitchen once more (well, mostly I had all my baking stuff back, as I had a kitchen whilst living in San Antonio, but I digress...), I pulled out the newest recipe I wished to try: Brown Butter & Sea Salt Chocolate Chip Cookies.

I was a little leery of the recipe for two reasons: brown butter and the whole two hours in the fridge.

I mean, what the heck is brown butter?

It's melted butter that's brown and kind of nutty. Does it make a difference in recipes?

Yeah. Trust me.

I think the first time I made them I threw them in the fridge for two hours like the recipe called for, but I didn't really brown the butter properly, but they were still good. (I did not successfully brown butter till I made those doughnuts.) Out of the two recipes I tried out that week, Pilot Boy like the Brown Butter and Sea Salt cookies best.

One would think because we both liked them, this recipe would be my to go. Nope. Why?

The whole putting it in the fridge and brown butter. (Also, it calls for a tablespoon of greek yogurt, which I don't usually have on hand since I made myself sick of it by eating it for a year straight for a meal during my Greek Yogurt Diet phase.)

HOWEVER, in looking for a recipe to make cookies with my carmel bits, I decided to go with this one since it called for sea salt.

And let me tell you, THEY ROCK.


So, here's my adapted recipe if you care:

Sweet Stuffs

Throughout my pregnancy, I've not had "cravings" in the typical sense. Yeah, I'll randomly want something, usually Arby's, but that happened to me before I got knocked up. Usually around that time of the months...and it was usually chocolate.


I am a sugar addict. I'm completely and utterly addicted to sugary items. Most of the things I've "craved" have sugar. Are are made mostly out of sugar. So, I've actually done quite a bit of baking. Recently, I've wanted doughnuts.

I always get random cravings for doughnuts. Usually when there's no doughnut place in sight. (Except that one time when I was in Boston when I was 13 and I desperately wanted a doughnut and no one would let me have one.) Anyways, I usually want a doughnut after three pm and all the doughnut shops in town (there are several) are closed. The first time I craved doughnuts, I went to local food store and got some of their Krispie Cream doughnuts. They fulfilled my craving and I was happy.

However, I thought: there must be a healthier way to eat a doughnut, right?

Then I remembered: Baked doughnuts.

I'd need a doughnut pan. I didn't have one, hence why I'd never tried it before. So, I logged onto Amazon, used the last of my credit card reward points and happily bought two doughnut pans and a doughnut cutter for when I decided I'd like to tackle yeast doughnuts myself.

I also got a cookbook all about doughnuts: Doughnuts: Simple and Delicious Recipes to Make at Home. 

So, I was amped up to make doughnuts.

Then I read the cookbook.

It called for things I'd a) never find in the tiny town I live in (I can't even find white whole wheat flour, people) and b) whole milk (that I can find easily now that I know it's not called whole milk, but vitamin D milk).

Also, the recipes all made way too many doughnuts for me to eat alone, so I took to my old fall back: Pinterest.

That's where I found the recipe I decided to use. Reasons I decided to use it: a) it didn't call for any special flour; b) it didn't call for any special type of sugar; c) it claimed to make only 10 doughnuts; and d) it didn't call for whole milk except in the glaze, which I figured I could fudge with skim.

So, I made these doughnuts.

They were good.

They were actually really easy to make.

Pilot Boy came home and announced, "Wow, these are good!"

I did learn a few things the first time I made them.

1. Use actual buttermilk. I've never actually bought buttermilk before, but since I was going to the store to get real butter for these babies (the fake stuff doesn't brown as nice, tragically) I decided I'd get some buttermilk. And man, they taste better with the real thing as opposed to when you milk the milk you have with vinegar. (or maybe I'm just mental, I'm not sure)

2. Don't make the glaze in a pie plate. Also, cut the glaze recipe in half.

The second time I made doughnuts, I wanted to make non-chocolate cake ones. I went with the other recipe on posted on Joy the Baker: Brown Butter Doughnuts.

They were not as good as the chocolate and I doubt I'll make them again. I'm not sure what went wrong, as once more I followed the directions and didn't do my own thing, but they were chewy and tasted horrid. I also made a batch of chocolate ones and froze the dough I didn't use (will I ever use it? I don't know. More than likely not, but I was tried and didn't feel like making more doughnuts.) The Brown Butter Doughnuts recipes claims to make six, but I got almost eight, thus why I began the chocolate ones when I wasn't going to, but then I did.

Anyways, I can vouch the chocolate baked doughnuts are awesome.

The other thing I've recently been making often is cookie dough balls. Frozen cookie dough balls. I like these because they are sugar, chocolate, and cold. And they are small so you don't feel like you're eating a whole bunch when you chow down on four or five of the tiny balls. I cut the recipe in half, as I don't have room in my freezer for a full batch. They are really good on a hot day.

A Quest for Salsa

You'd think it wouldn't be hard to find salsa, but it is. Trust me.

Before I met Pilot Boy, I had no desire to eat salsa. I hated hot foods and thus never ventured near the salsa bowl or a Mexican restaurant. This all changed when Pilot Boy waltzed into my life because the boy lives to fry his tongue and Mexican food is his all time fav.

Whilst dating, there was this Mexican restaurant in West Lafayette, Indiana he liked and we went to quite often. The joint always brought two different salsas, one mild, one hot. This worked well for the pair of us, as Pilot Boy likes to burn his tongue and I'd rather keep my taste buds.

During our time in Fairview Heights, IL, there was this perfect Mexican restaurant right near our apartment complex and we spent almost every Friday night (or when we failed to want to make dinner) eating at this place. They also had good salsa.

Then, we moved to the Dirt Hole.

You'd think that living on the Texas boarder, you'd find GREAT Mexican food and salsa would be easy to get.

LIES. ALL LIES.

To date, the best Mexican food I've consumed has been within the state of Indiana. And the best salsa I've eaten came out of my kitchen.

Yeah, you read that right: I make my own salsa.

While we were living in Texas, there were store bought salsas that were okay. In Texas, there were so many available I don't think we ever got the same one twice. Then we moved to Alaska where they had no idea about salsa, let alone chips.

Oklahoma isn't much better. The lone okay Mexican restaurant in town doesn't actually give you chips and salsa with your order, as they don't have a table. They are a drive through restaurant. (Their food is really good, though. Likely the best in town.)

I'd been tooling around Pinterst for awhile, looking at salsa recipes. I'd gotten a new blender as a house warming present from my parents. It claimed it worked as a food processor as well (hence why I got it). Finally, after going through every, single salsa our tiny town shops had to offer, I decided I'd just make my own. So, I bought all the stuff and made it.

It was 1,000 times better than any of the jars we had in our fridge rotting away because they sucked.

(I was also over zealous the first time I made salsa and also made my own chips, which were really good, but labor intensive.)

Anyways, I've made the recipe a few times. (Oh, find it here: Quick and Easy Blender Salsa.)

The first time I made it, I had no ground cumin, so I put in chipotle powder. I also had gotten the Rotel diced tomatoes with green chiles in them, not the plain ones.

The second time I made it, I only used half a can of diced tomatoes and it came out looking brown. (It tasted fine, it just wasn't very red.)

The third time, Pilot Boy made it by just dumping in what I could remember. I forgot the honey and he failed to listen to me when I told him he was over blending. We also didn't have any fresh cilantro, as the cilantro we had had gone all slimy.

We threw that one out.

The last batch I made, I pretty much followed the recipe, only I used paprika. I also failed to put enough salt in and didn't have a fresh lime.

HOWEVER, since I made the batch, I've been adding a little more salt and some Bold Taco Seasoning by Penzey. And a bit more lime juice, as I don't think Pilot Boy put enough in. (He didn't seem to think we needed a full tablespoon to compensate for lack of fresh lime.)

It is heavenly.

So, here is the recipe tweaked from the original one: (Once more found here: Quick and Easy Blender Salsa)

What you need:

1 can of 14-oz canned diced tomatoes
(drain a bit of the water out unless you like watery salsa)
1 can of 10-oz Rotel Mild (with green chilies)
Some roughy chopped onion.
(Roughly chopped is the key, as you're putting it in the blender. I'd say add as much onion as you like. I hate onions, so I put maybe 1/4 of a red onion in.) 
1 clove of garlic.
(PEEL IT. DO NOT CHOP IT UP EITHER. If you do not have an actual clove, put the equivalent of the powder stuff or whatever you've got in the garlic department. First time I used minced garlic, a heaping 1/2 tablespoon.) 
1 teaspoon of honey
1/2 teaspoon of salt, plus extra if you feel you need it.
1/4 teaspoon ground chipotle or 1/2 Penzey Bold Taco Seasoning plus 1/4 paprika
Juice of one lime
(Or put a tablespoon or two of lime concentrate.) 

Directions:
1. Gather all ingredients.
2. Chop your onion. Roughly.
3. Peel your garlic clove. (If you have one.) 
4. Open your cans of tomatoes.
5. Dump everything into the blender.
6. Plug the blender in. (Very important.) Turn blender on. (Also muy importante.) Blend on high for 10 seconds, or low for 30. Do not over blend or you'll liquify it.
7. Put it in a jar or whatever you wish to store your freshly made salsa within.
8. Enjoy. (I figure it keeps for maybe a week. Only one jar we've made, the first, made it passed a week and looked kind of funky after a week in a half of living in the fridge.) 

Now, I know these food/recipe posts usually have photos to go along with them, but I don't have photos of me making salsa at the moment. However, I wanted to write this down before I forgot. Or had a baby and thus was busy bonding with said baby.

Where I Will Make Some Lists

Things I Miss About Texas:

1. HEB

*Now why would I miss a chain grocery store? Because. Unlike many things within the state of Texas I detest, I have ALWAYS for some unknown reason loved HEBs. When I lived in Del Rio, it was mostly because it was something familiar (a real grocery store, not a pretend one like they had on base or Walmart. I loath Walmarts for the most part.) They had good produce and I'd spend my Friday mornings buying fresh fruits and veggies. When we returned to Texas, we did all our shopping at HEB because once more, the base store failed at life. (Seriously, the only good base commissary we've seen was at in IL. Seriously. The one in AK was well stocked, but priced similar to Fred Meyer).

2. Four Zone Weather
*While they failed at life at predicting when it'd rain sometimes (Weather man: It will not rain today! Ireland Scott: *looks out window and wonders what the water falling from the sky is if it's not rain*) I like the fact they had Doppler and could somewhat tell me the various weather in the various sections.

*tries to think of other things besides Target she misses about Texas at the moment and fails.*

Thing I Do Not Miss About Texas:

1. Humidity.
2. Access roads along side the interstate.
3. Their inability to merge.
4. Heat.
5. Bugs.
6. Did I mention the access roads?
7. It's hot there. And it doesn't rain enough. But it's humid. (Didn't I say that already? I did. I guess my list on things I do not miss is short as well.)

Things I Miss About Alaska:

1. The weather (all times of year. I like it.)
2. Their lack of highways and access roads.
3. Their local news.
4. The weather man who never knew what was going on and it was adorable because there's no Dopplar up there so he kind was just guessing anyways. (Weather guy: It might be snowing. Or not. I'm not sure. We'll see! Ireland Scott: Looks out window and laughs because it's snowing. Quite a bit.)


Things I Do Not Miss:

1. The dirt and tiny rocks they used on the roads in the winter that never seemed to go away.

Things I like about OK at the moment...

1. Lack of humidity.
2. It's better than the Dirt Hole.
3. No access roads!
4. The town I'm located within doesn't even have an interstate, so duh, no access roads.
5. There is an Old Navy and Lowes. Woot.
6. There are plenty of Mexican restaurants to keep Pilot boy happy.


Things I Do Not Like:

1. MILK IS LIKE FIVE DOLLARS A GALLON. WTF?
2. The cheapest place to buy things is Walmart and there is no Target.
3. Seriously, who decides the price of food in this place? And why am I paying full sales tax of food? What is wrong with you OK, I thought you were a red state, don't you hate taxes? Or did I learn that wrong?
4. It's hot. (like 100 plus, but it's not humid. Or it wasn't. It MIGHT rain today, so it's humid.)
5. The way they pronounce ALTUS during their ENTIRE state WIDE weather forecast on the news. Seriously, they do the ENTIRE state in board strokes. While I understand this, they never talk about where I am. Just ALTUS. And they say it all WRONG.

So, all in all, I hate very minor things. Right?

Writing Ate My Brain

I've been writing up a storm...so long I can't remember when I last was not working on the story that has consumed my life. It is literally all I can think about, all I can get myself to do in a timely manner. I can't write blog posts, I can't sew, I can't even eat. All I can do is write. It is insane.

The only thing not fallen on the way side due to the mind consuming story (which in some for has been consuming me since I was in high school. My journals from that era are filled with tasty, random tid bits that related to the story. They are also filled with a lot dumb things and massive spelling errors. Oh, and the most absurd things I thought were important enough to write down. I'm a regular comedian.) was my working out.

I KNOW! I couldn't remember to eat, to wash the dishes, get the mail, write my mother an email, but I did manage to work out for at least 40 to 45 minutes. During the week. Weekends are a lost cause. Even when Mad Man consumed me for awhile. (I watched the whole 4 seasons in like...five days or something insane like that, writing while I watched it. I'm talented. I wrote RAB while watching the "Gilmore Girls.")

Anyways, I've been doing these pilates/cadrio/dance type of workouts. The dance aspect is a failure for me as I'm the proud owner of five left feet. I am sure I look like a complete fool trying to follow the "dance" movements. These movements are so simple any idiot could do it, except this one. I like the pilates aspects of the work outs though. And they combine standing and mat workouts, which amuses me. What also amuses me....

After three weeks of doing this, I CAN SEE RESULTS.

Shocking. I never saw any results when I spent my life in the gym in the Dirt Hole. The only result I seemed to be getting was the fact my shirts no longer fit over my arms because I had muscles. Shirts still fit and I'm not as flabby in my arms. The best part, though, my stomach. Yeah, my a MAJOR issue is my stomach area. I hate it. Never have. You've heard it before. But, you guys! It's getting flatter suddenly. IT IS AMAZING.

I've also lost three pounds, but that's not really that important. What is important, I LOOK GREAT IN MY CLOTHES.

Now, I noticed after the first pilates based workout I did (Pick Your Spot Pilates) I suddenly was standing taller. If that makes sense. I felt my abs were stronger and pulling me up to stand up straight. I felt longer, leaner. It was so strange, I did the ab work out again the next day after walking way the pounds. I then branched out to other pilates based workouts offers by Crunch. I have three I use in a rotation. Burn and Firm pilates is a pretty good workout. I get messed up with the feet movements and I have yet to try it with the weights, but I do like it. It gets my heart rate going and makes me sweat. All good for me in my book. Super Slim Down is the one I do on days I don't want to really move around and look like a moron. It is an all mat based workout, but don't think that means it is easy. I'm still sweating pretty good at the end and I really feel my muscles working. The last one, the ones I really do like quite a bit, is Fat Burning Pilates. I can actually now almost get through the cardio section without tripping over my feet during the squat and leg pointing movements. Almost.

I like the results I am getting, as well as how I feel. I feel awesome. I always felt great after a good gym work out in the Dirt Hole, I'd just get frustrated because nothing on my body would be changing. I'd still look the same, so it wasn't all that rewarding. I tried everything in the Dirt Hole and nothing worked. This whole pilates thing, with the relaxing yoga workout on days in between, is really working for me.

Granted, I've been on a new diet as well. I don't snack any more, I drink a lot of water, and I eat a very, very, very light dinner. (Pilot Boy would not approve.) I eat a lot of fruit and try to get a couple veggies in at lunch. My biggest meal of the day is lunch. I don't know how this will work when Pilot Boy the Meat Eater returns either, as I'm not eating too much meat. I eat a cup of yogurt with fruit for dinner and have a glass of milk. Sometimes I also have a fiber bar at dinner time, if I didn't eat it at lunch. For lunch, I usually make something off this website: www.SkinnyTaste.com. They are Weight Watcher based, but I'm not counting my points. I just find they are easy to follow, have ingredients I've got around and she offers some veggie based dishes. Even Pilot Boy likes the meat dishes. Plus, she makes cookies. I like the cookies, the oatmeal chocolate chips ones are the best. Even Pilot Boy eats those.

That is what I've been up to: exercising and pouring words out of my fingers and laughing at my 13 year old self. (And my 15,16,17, and 18 year old self. By 19 I had stopped keeping written journal.)

I have some ideas for some thoughtful posts, I just have to write them, but I've wanted to right an Operation Jeans update for weeks. Because there was something to update.

Adventures in the Kitchen

Well, I tried to make biscotti. I was going to do a whole post on it and how wonderful it was. I took pictures and everything.

Then it tasted like shit. So I threw it out.

I then made skinny red velvet cupcakes.

They also taste like crap, but not as much.

I think the culprit is the whole wheat flour, which is not white whole wheat flour. The whole wheat flour is way to strong for the recommended dosage each recipe calls for. Except for the Whole Wheat Pancakes. Those always turn out right.

Maybe next time I make those, I'll do a picture post.

*deletes all the biscotti pictures*

In other news, Maureen Johnson's Last Little Blue Envelope came out yesterday and I read it. Yesterday. I started re-reading it two hours later. Because I read it too fast to really enjoy it because I HAD TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. But it is VERY GOOD and you SHOULD READ IT NOW. (But I am a sucker for books that feature British people with Americans as well as traveling stories.)

In other news, you should buy it.

Crumble

How do make a kick ass crumble:

Ingredients:

Find some fruit to fill a small glass baking pan. Does not truly matter what fruit you use. Apples, pears, blueberries, strawberries...anything works except maybe oranges. Or a grapefruit. I tend to use apples and rhubarb when it randomly appears in my backyard. Not together, apples and rhubarb, but separately.  Today, I'm going to use Apples and Blueberries.
1/2 stick of butter (doesn't matter what sort of butter. I use the fake stuff because it's cheap and "better" for you. Might need more butter if the topping is too dry.)
Spices (just dump these on to your liking and use whatever you think goes with your fruit.)
1/2 box of yellow cake mix.
Oatmeal (will just sprinkle to your liking)


1. Okay, so find some fruit.
(I found Apples and Blueberries.)

2. Preheat the oven to 350. Find glass baking dish.

3. Locate a knife and cutting board. Cut up fruit if needed.
(I cut up the apple. I did not cut the blueberries.)

4. Toss everything into a glass dish (size 9X9 or something along that).

5. Sprinkle said fruit in dish with some sort of spices (could use cinnamon, ginger, cloves, cardamon, all spice, etc.)
(I put ginger and cardamon all over my fruit.)

6. Find the oatmeal and sprinkle over the top of the fruit.

7. Cut a stick of butter in half. Get a microwave safe mixing bowl and put the butter in it. Put it bowl and butter into the microwave. (Soften the butter. Don't MELT IT. 10 or 15 seconds works.)

8. Dump half the box of cake mix onto softened butter.

9. Dump some more spices into the cake mix. If you want, add some vanilla.

10. Find a fork (Forks are the best) and mix together the cake mix and butter. If you MELT butter, this step becomes kind of...off. Too much melted butter will result in a cake mix like substance, not the crumbly mixture you want. Doesn't matter, as it all tastes the same. But I find its easier to work with the crumbly stuff. If it's too dry, add more melted butter. JUST A LITTLE. Not too much, or you'll end up with cake mix.

11. After it's mixed together, lick the fork. Put fork in dishwasher or wherever you store dirty dishes.

12. Using your hands, pick up clumps of cake mixture and crumble over the oats and fruit.

13. After the topping is on, add some more oatmeal.

14.  Stick it into the preheated oven. Bake until the fruit is bubbling and the topping looks baked. Usually this takes roughly about 30 to 35 minutes, depending on how lame ones oven is.

And WHALA. You have a yummy desert. Or fruit product to eat.

And this is why Martha Stewart and I do not get along. When I make this it always turns out prefect because I just DUMP and there is little measuring. The only thing I "measure" is the butter. But only because I cut it in half where it tells me the half point is located. I eye ball everything else.

Update on GET YOUR BUTT IN GEAR:


Day Eight: Took day off.

Day Nine: Hiked. For how long, I do not know. For how far, I do not know. But we hiked through the Chugack Mountains around the Hillside Trail System or something. It was sunny and hot. Yeah, you read that right: SUNNY AND HOT. It was like 28 degrees down in Anchorage, but up on the sunny mountain it was almost 40 degrees. Except in the shade. But when we got back in our car it was 39 degrees. And we were both only wearing fleeces. And Basil was HOT. Black puppy in the boiling sun. But she was a happy hot puppy. She LOVES snow and walking and running, so she was thrilled. Plus, she's getting a lot better about meeting other dogs on the trails. She no longer gets so excited she freaks the other dogs out. She always says HI, but doesn't say HI MY NAME IS BASIL LOVE ME PLAY WITH ME LOVE ME PLAY WITH ME LOVE ME HI MY NAME IS BASIL! I AM A PUPPY!

Like the other dogs couldn't tell.

Day Ten: Did 20 minutes of walking.

Day 11: Will do another 20 minutes of walking.

And so ends the update.

Your Face is on a Billboard

Oh  god. What the hell happened to Decemeber? I was so organized and early and ready for it and now its like 11 days till Christmas and I still have all my cards (in envelopes, ready to go...just lacking postage). I still have all the presents in their flat rate boxes, just not packed to ship anywhere.

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I went to Fairbanks for a few days last week. Word of advice: Fairbanks is COLD. (Insert choice word) COLD. And kinda boring. I had heard from some people it was kinda lame in Fairbanks, but I figured I'd give it a chance, but it was pretty lame. Frozen, lame and kinda unfriendly. Pilot boy's parents are here and his step mom kept commenting she thought Alaskans were really unfriendly. I had not put much thought into it, as me myself am kinda unfriendly while out and about. But, I guess compared to what she is used to in the Midwest, us Alaskans are kinda unfriendly. (I say "us" because I'm an Alaskan with  brown eyes now.) I don't really notice when people are unfriendly verse friendly because when I'm out and about I'd rather be left alone in all honesty. But, the people of Fairbanks, were kinda not very friendly, especially at the post office. I think (with the exception of the lovely lady at the Midtown post office here) post office works are made cranky here in Alaska. I have yet to meet a friendly one (besides the Midtown lady, hence why I usually drive all the way up to Midtown to mail boxes and things that need postage.)

Well, I think that is it mostly. I haven't gotten anything done because my in laws have been here. I realized on Saturday when I attempted to keep up with Pilot boy's step mom while shopping, I wanted to scream because I suddenly realized how behind I had fallen. When they arrived at the start of December, I was a head. Now I am behind. I guess its okay that my holiday season has been so damn slow. I honestly thought by this point I'd be up to 50 sales. I'm only at 25. Blarg.

In other news, we've gone to either REI or the grocery store every day since the in-laws arrived. I am serious. I'm not sure why, but one of us has gone to one of those stores (or both) since December started. Our fridge is PACKED with left overs, which no one seems to be eating or willing to eat. I HATE leftovers. When I cook for myself, I almost never make enough for left overs because I hate left overs. They are just boring. The first night they were here, the step mom made the WHOLE BOX of newly opened angel hair pasta. No one, even she, could figure out why she did this. Then, we had stew, and Pilot boy's dad told him to mix it in with the left over pasta. And no one ate it. Its still in there. Then Pilot boy made brisket and no one ate the left overs from the night before.

I hate left overs.

Pilot boy did realize that his standards for eating out here are way too high as every place we've taken his parents, they have loved. He admitted his standards might be too high. I told him that was right. To hold all places to the standards of Charlie Gittos in St. Louis is just stupid.

Well, it is almost 10.30 and I have the whole house to myself the first time in....12 days!!!!!! Well, I have a dog with me, as no one took her with them this morning, but I am on my own! I am a total loner. Seriously. The step mom was surprised how well I do being left on my own while Pilot Boy flies around the world over and over. I told her I do not need much attention, which I do not. I've always been fine on my own for the most part. I was on my own as a child a lot (talking to myself constantly and playing with screw drivers) and as an adult, I've been on my own a lot (still talking to myself, but pretending I'm actually speaking to the dog).

Pilot Boy hates Christmas Carols. We do not get along at Christmas time because I LOVE CHRISTMAS MUSIC. Yesterday, he left the room because I was singing, "Basil Dog is coming to town." Over and Over. I add my own lyrics in. So sue me.

Oh, we had another earthquake the other day. It claimed it was only a 3 point something, but I swear it was a strong as the one we had over the summer.

I am not Martha Stewart

A friend of mine for a house warming gift got me a subscription to "Martha Stewart Living." I was kind of like, "Oh, cool." She also got me a subscription to a Vegetarian magazine, as I hate raw meat. But the Martha Stewart was what got me.

I have never been a Martha fan. Mostly because everything strikes me as overly complicated and time consuming and while I might sit around and wait for Gadot to show up, I do not have the patience to play with glitter.

I hate glitter.

With a flaming passion.

I really hate flitter and gorilla glue, but we'll get to that later.

So for the past six months or so I've been getting "Martha Stewart Living." It first began showing up when there was no one around to play with raw meat for me, so I just mostly stared at it and was hungry. Also, a lot of the recipes in it have things I don't know what they are.  Or they have a small amount of something I have to buy a lot more than the recipe calls for, like cream or whipping cream. Or heavy cream. Or lamb. We can't figure out where one gets lamb in Alaska. Or a kumquat. What is a kumquat anyways?

Anyways, a couple of days ago, the December issue showed up. There was a separate holiday cookie issue you had to buy separately. I stared at the cover. I drooled over the things in the issue I had, as that is all I do with "Martha Stewart Living," I simply drool over it. I drool over the food pictures and the decor pictures. I despratly want to paint my front door dark plum, but I don't think anyone would go for that really. Anyways, I sat in bed and drooled, wishing someone would come home and handle raw meat for me so I could have steak.

The Cookie Grail

Then, a few days ago I was standing in a store buying some primer for my face. (Alaska lacks a Sephora and I lack the foresight to order it before I run out.) This little old lady was having a wonderfully detailed conversation about cold with the cashier, so I was looking at the magainzes. I usually just read all the headlines and move on with life, but then I saw it. The "Holiday Cookies." Chocolate, ginger, peppermint, sugar, cream, frosting, ice cream....I was on over load just thinking what was IN IT.

Of course I walked over and picked it up. The moment I saw biscotti in it, I was going to buy it. By the time I had begun to drool in the store, the nice old lady motored away and I walked up silently and set down the face primer and the magazine. After telling me how silent I was, the lady checked me out and I left spending about what I would have spent had I bought the primer at Sephora rather than the special store I visited. The face primer might have been discounted, but the cookie grail was still seven bucks. But I was so EXCITED.

Text picture sent to Pilot Boy

From the Cookie Grail

 I came home and began to really drool over the pictures. I began to send text messages to my husband with pictures of cookies. I was so EXCITED. I was going to become a cookie making machine! I'd make all these complicated COOKIES! Then he got mad at me, as he had no junk food and I was making him hungry and kind of cranky with all the pictures of cookies I was sending his way.

So, two days later, I was like, I'm going to make these Mexican Hot Chocolate cookies. I've got almost everything to make them right?

No. I did not. I lacked cream of tartar. So I was like, welp, I guess I won't make those. We'll do these espresso ones. They look like the Mexican Hot Chocolate ones.
 

How Cookies Should Look

So, I looked at the ingredient list and I was like, "Well, I don't have bittersweet chocolate, but I have unsweetened and I have espresso powder. I'll just put those chocolate chunks in! It'll be fine!"

And I went to work. I actually followed the instructions pretty much. I mean, I didn't use the right sort of baking chocolate and I melted it in the microwave, but I did use three freaking bowls and mix things separately, which I never do because I hate doing dishes. I even whipped the dry ingredients with a whisk like it said. (Not sure why you had to whisk them together, but whatever.) I DID EVERYTHING IT SAID. I followed the directions to a T when putting the ingredients together.

Least to say, for some unknown reason, while Martha's cookies look like round, flat cookies...while mine turned out looking like round mounds. 

How my Cookies Look

Similar things happened the year I decided to make gingerbread men with a Paula Dean recipe. I went out and bought everything (as I didn't have anything except ginger) and for some unknown reason, they were the WORST GINGERBREAD cookies known to man. They were super stiff, almost all of them burned and I had the worst time rolling the dough out to cut the little burnt buggers. This is why I usually do not try things out of magazines. This is why I also just make things up as I go along. When I make things up as I go along, things turn out better. Like the crazy dark brownies I made over the summer.

The mound cookies do taste okay. A little bitter, but at least I'm not consuming a ton of sugar, right?